downcydeguy Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 For those of you who have been the dumpER, have you ever NOT contacted the ex simply out of pride? Even if you really wanted to? Do you regret it? And is there anything that the ex could have said/done to give you the courage to actually contact them before getting over you? I'm the dumpEE and going through a rough time and am fighting the urges to contact her. It just doesn't "feel" over for some reason and I'm wondering if she is too prideful to call me. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikita20 Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 I, myself, am a fellow dumpee. However, I don't think that it is pride in my case. I think it is fear. He did contact me, he was extremely nervous, I was nice to him, however, he didn't make any attempt to reconcile or try and get back together. I think he just called me to see how I was coping and to soothe his guilt. It has been over a month since we last spoke. To top it off, I'm 100% sure that he is seeing someone else. That just kills me. To be instantly replaced after spending almost 2 years with someone really kills me. However, I'm sticking to the NC. It is the only way to heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 I've been on both sides of the coin and as difficult as it would be in either position, contact would be made if the urge was strong enough. I recently had an ex call me after 2 months of NC and as the above poster experienced...it wasn't really about reconciliation. It was him wanting to know what I'd been up to and to (I believe) relinquish himself of some his guilt. Contact with an ex isn't always going to be about reconciliation however. It can simply boil down to someone that you once cared for and shared time with wanting to fulfill feelings of curiosity. If your gal ended the relationship, I wouldn't suggest reaching out....as strong as the urge may be. If she TRULY wants to contact you, she'll push through any feelings of pride/fear to do so, IMO. As I stated above, I have been the dumper and after a couple months of NC, as nervous as I was to do it, I did it. Nothing will stop someone from getting ahold of someone if the desire is strong enough. Just my 2 cents. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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