ex boyfriend's marriage trouble

[forgotten]

Last January I posted a message about how upset I was that my ex boyfriend of three months had gotten married in December. I tired to meet and date other people (with out success). Last April I called his Dad's pretending to be a friend of my ex's new wife and wanting their phone no. His Dad gave it to me, and I called asking for my ex. The wife sounded very defensive, and said that he wasn't there. I tried again later, but she stressed that she was his WIFE and he wasn't home right then. Well, I hung up after saying something to make her suspicious of where he MIGHT be. About a month later, at a friend's house, I asked her to call and see if he was there. It was pretty late, and when he answered, she hung up. Then he called back, and when she said "Hello?" He said angerily

[Bobby Dygytul]

Forget this guy, i don't care how much you love him. You only dated him for three months, how can you be THAT attatched to him? What you have been doing is very very RUDE and is WRONG.

 

If any of my ex girlfirends had done what you are doing, i would hold a very big grudge against them and it would piss me off. What you did is VERY VERY IMMATURE!! How old are you anyways?

 

First and formost, you need to forget this guy. Most importantly you need to go to the doctor and get help. If this guy would have wanted you, then he would have stayed with you. You absolutely can NOT force someone to love you back.

 

This guy is married for christ sake. Cut this guy a break. If you truely love him then you would let him go! Let him have his own life and you your own. Get on with your life and get some help FAST!!!

 

Last January I posted a message about how upset I was that my ex boyfriend of three months had gotten married in December. I tired to meet and date other people (with out success). Last April I called his Dad's pretending to be a friend of my ex's new wife and wanting their phone no. His Dad gave it to me, and I called asking for my ex. The wife sounded very defensive, and said that he wasn't there. I tried again later, but she stressed that she was his WIFE and he wasn't home right then. Well, I hung up after saying something to make her suspicious of where he MIGHT be. About a month later, at a friend's house, I asked her to call and see if he was there. It was pretty late, and when he answered, she hung up. Then he called back, and when she said "Hello?" He said angerily

[sparkle]

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU????????????????????????????

 

You need to be put in jail! For stalking people. For breaking up marriages. For being the lowest form of SCUM on the earth.

 

No, I take that back. I'm doing SCUM an injustice by comparing it to you. You're the crap that comes out of the scum's butt. That's just how low I think of you. Don't get offended. It's just my personal opinion, as is the rest of this post. But reading your post made me realize that you are the lowest form of lowlife that I have ever heard about. So congratulations, you now rank my list of "low-life scum crap".

 

Okay now that I got that out of the way, you need some major help. Talk to a counselor SOON. STOP CALLING THIS GUY BACK. First of all, call his wife up and tell her exactly how terrible of a person you are by telling her all your previous sneaky, conniving, immature and foolish actions.

 

How old are you anyway?????

 

No wonder this guy broke up with you. You are CRAZY. Really crazy. I can't believe this guy ever dated you in the first place. What a waste of time for him. And now he has to deal with you, even after he dumped you. I feel SO incredibly sorry for him.

 

I wish he had followed through on his actions when he said he would put you in jail if you harrassed him one more time.

 

And what you are doing is called harrassment, plain and simple. Hopefully, he will realize (if he hasn't already) just how nutty and insane you are and call the cops and get a restraining order, or will report your telephone calls and make sure that the next time you call him or his wife, or make an effort to get in contact with either one in any way, that you will be charged for a crime.

 

I could not imagine that there are people that would stoop so low to ruin other people's lives and marriages. But after reading your post, I now realize it is true.

 

Get some help, and leave those people alone.

[Laurynn]

You are a sick, mean, spiteful, immature, hurtin' individual. You dated this guy for 3 months (woopee doo, that's not a long time by any stretch)..the poor guy finds someone else (gee, I can see why things with you didn't last) and decides to marry them....then you act like a FREAKIN STALKER. You should be ashamed of yourself, and if I was him or his wife, I'd send the cops on you, get a lawyer and charge you with harassment and stalking.

 

What kind of b*tch would do this to someone's wife, playing these games, having her think he's seeing someone else/isn't being faithful. From one woman to another, you make me sick and I hope you see psychiatric help soon.

 

Leave the guy alone. He doesn't want you, he wants nothing to do with you. He committed his life to his WIFE.

 

No doubt they have unlisted number now...and likely have a restraining order against you, or will get one, should you continue to STALK AND HARASS him and his wife.

 

You are sick, mean and heartless...and you need to get some class.

 

L

[Forgotten]

Maybe if YOU ever had a REAL relationship, you could get off this web site and find a MAN, if that's what you want. No, I dated this guy for a YEAR and a HALF, b*tch, his wife only dated him TWO months. And I broke ups with HIM, for your information, several times, in fact. He NEVER once broke up with ME. Apparently you missed the part where HE called ME, right in front of his dear WIFE, who I am so sure he loves SO much that he has called his ex wife and another old girlfriend, long before I EVER called him. Maybe if YOU had ever had a man say he wanted to be with you forever, marry you, have kids with you, THEN turn around and marry some stranger two months later, you would understand my "psychosis." Besides, I doubt very seriously if his wife would leave him over THAT. I'm sure there are other issues, and they may even still be together for all I know. And no, I have not called him and have no desire to. I only called that last time at HIS request. HE already ruined his own life by marrying some desperate woman he didn't love just to get back at me for dumping HIM and moving out of state. I suggest YOU get a life and a job and stop sitting on your lazy, judgemental ass at the computer all day. By the way, I DID talk to a counselor, who informed me my feelings are NATURAL. And by the way, I'm still not in jail!

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU????????????????????????????

 

You need to be put in jail! For stalking people. For breaking up marriages. For being the lowest form of SCUM on the earth. No, I take that back. I'm doing SCUM an injustice by comparing it to you. You're the crap that comes out of the scum's butt. That's just how low I think of you. Don't get offended. It's just my personal opinion, as is the rest of this post. But reading your post made me realize that you are the lowest form of lowlife that I have ever heard about. So congratulations, you now rank my list of "low-life scum crap". Okay now that I got that out of the way, you need some major help. Talk to a counselor SOON. STOP CALLING THIS GUY BACK. First of all, call his wife up and tell her exactly how terrible of a person you are by telling her all your previous sneaky, conniving, immature and foolish actions.

 

How old are you anyway????? No wonder this guy broke up with you. You are CRAZY. Really crazy. I can't believe this guy ever dated you in the first place. What a waste of time for him. And now he has to deal with you, even after he dumped you. I feel SO incredibly sorry for him. I wish he had followed through on his actions when he said he would put you in jail if you harrassed him one more time. And what you are doing is called harrassment, plain and simple. Hopefully, he will realize (if he hasn't already) just how nutty and insane you are and call the cops and get a restraining order, or will report your telephone calls and make sure that the next time you call him or his wife, or make an effort to get in contact with either one in any way, that you will be charged for a crime.

 

I could not imagine that there are people that would stoop so low to ruin other people's lives and marriages. But after reading your post, I now realize it is true. Get some help, and leave those people alone.

[Forgotten]

Yes, I have tried to forget him. I know what I did was wrong. You misunderstood,though, about how long I dated him--it was a total of a year and a half. We had just been broken up for 3 MONTHS when he married this stranger that he only knew for 2 MONTHS. This guy DID want me--I'm the one who broke up with HIM and moved out of state. He mentioned marriage on several occasions, but his drinking was out of control and he hadn't worked in nine months. HE called ME when I moved out of state, all pissed off and saying that he couldn't believe I'd just run off like that. I needed a good job and to get away from someone who couldn't love me the way I deserved. I admit I may be somewhat obsessed, but I talked to a counselor and she said that my feelings were NORMAL. If this guy had had his life together, I would've married him in a heartbeat. Everyone that responds to this message seems to forget that HE called ME, right in front of his WIFE, lied to her about who he was talking to, and has also called his ex wife and another ex girlfriend! So why am I such a bad person? I doubt very seriously that his wife will go through with the divorce. If she does, it probably means she has FINALLY realized what kind of person she has married, so it will have little to do with me. He already has a grudge against me for leaving him, and I am positively convinced this marriage is partially his way of getting back at me. I don't have any more desire to call him, but it did feel GOOD to stir things up. If his marriage falls apart, I'm sure it'll be something HE'S done. Maybe by then I'll have found someone who TRULY knows how to love.

Forget this guy, i don't care how much you love him. You only dated him for three months, how can you be THAT attatched to him? What you have been doing is very very RUDE and is WRONG.

 

If any of my ex girlfirends had done what you are doing, i would hold a very big grudge against them and it would piss me off. What you did is VERY VERY IMMATURE!! How old are you anyways?

 

First and formost, you need to forget this guy. Most importantly you need to go to the doctor and get help. If this guy would have wanted you, then he would have stayed with you. You absolutely can NOT force someone to love you back. This guy is married for christ sake. Cut this guy a break. If you truely love him then you would let him go! Let him have his own life and you your own. Get on with your life and get some help FAST!!!

[Laurynn]

This is word for word what you wrote in your first message..where you CLEARLY said you'd dated him for only *3* months:

 

"Last January I posted a message about how upset I was that my ex boyfriend of three months had gotten married in December."

Maybe if YOU ever had a REAL relationship, you could get off this web site and find a MAN, if that's what you want.

Now, after you didn't get the praise and recognition you sought by here (why DID you post here? What was the point?), you suddenly change the story:

 

"No, I dated this guy

 

for a YEAR and a HALF, b*tch, his wife only dated

 

him TWO months."

 

"And I broke ups with HIM, for

 

your information, several times, in fact. He NEVER

 

once broke up with ME."

 

Well good for you! So then YOU made the decision to end this with him, on more than one occasion....that obviously indicates that you weren't happy with him (healthy relationships don't consist of one person constantly breaking up with the other). So if you dumped him, then why would you care if he met someone else and married them? That's NONE of your business. You didn't own him. He was (and still is) free to do as he chooses, date who he chooses, marry who he chooses. Sounds to me like you were just playing head games with him......you dumped him several times to 'hurt him', then when your little game backfired, and he met/married someone else, you got all pissy.

[Forgotten]

Okay, I'm glad you are so perfect you can say all those things about a TOTAL stranger! You and my ex would get along GREAT! Well, you misunderstood, Miss Know-it-all, about how long we dated--it was a good year and a half! We'd only been BROKEN UP 3 months when he marries some stranger he'd only known two months! And I was the one who broke up--several times, in fact--and I even took a job in another state! HE called me SEVERAL times in the wee hours of the morning, when I had to be at work the next day, and harass ME over leaving him, and saying I was "jumping on" him because I wanted him to work and quit drinking BEFORE we got married! Yes, he'd asked ME, too! HE said he wanted to stay with me FOREVER, get married, have children, and I lost my virginity to him. I thought I'd saved myself for the one who would marry me, but I couldn't marry him with all HIS problems. I don't think that a couple of phone calls make me a "stalker" especially since he AND his wife have both called me back! She has called THREE times! And he even said HE would call me back, though he hasn't--yet.

 

How can you file harrassment charges when you are calling your "harasser" back?? Also, his wife told me that HE had called his ex wife, and another old girlfriend, LONG before I ever got in touch with them. If she suspects him of not being faithful, I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one to arouse those suspicions! He IS on the single's line, by the way, that's no game--that's the TRUTH. I would want to know if MY husband was trying to set up dates with other women, wouldn't you? Besides, how could I EVER trust him myself, if I did get him back? I couldn't, and I'd never want him back. This is EXACTLY what I told his wife, I told her we have not seen each other since September, that I only called him, at HIS request, the last time because his mother had passed away. I DID talk to a counselor, and she said my feelings were NORMAL. Maybe if YOU have ever had a long term, passionate love realtionship, you would understand how I feel.

You are a sick, mean, spiteful, immature, hurtin' individual. You dated this guy for 3 months (woopee doo, that's not a long time by any stretch)..the poor guy finds someone else (gee, I can see why things with you didn't last) and decides to marry them....then you act like a FREAKIN STALKER. You should be ashamed of yourself, and if I was him or his wife, I'd send the cops on you, get a lawyer and charge you with harassment and stalking. What kind of b*tch would do this to someone's wife, playing these games, having her think he's seeing someone else/isn't being faithful. From one woman to another, you make me sick and I hope you see psychiatric help soon. Leave the guy alone. He doesn't want you, he wants nothing to do with you. He committed his life to his WIFE. No doubt they have unlisted number now...and likely have a restraining order against you, or will get one, should you continue to STALK AND HARASS him and his wife. You are sick, mean and heartless...and you need to get some class. L

[Laurynn]

"I'm the one who broke up with HIM and moved out of state."

 

So..YOU left him and YOU moved away. So what was he supposed to do, sit there and pine over you and wait for you to come back? No...he didn't. He realized what a game-playing, control freak you were and he decided to move on with his life.

 

Jesus Christ, you LEFT the guy......so why would you care what he did after YOU left him? You're already dissing him and saying that if his marriage falls apart, that it's because of the kind of guy he is. So why don't you move the hell along and focus your energy on someone else? You are a walking contradiction. You still slam him, yet you obviously cared enough (in your own deluded way) to try and get back at him....for WHAT, I don't know. YOU LEFT HIM AND MOVED AWAY.

 

It's women like you that give the rest of us a bad name. Go visit the site: www.psychoexgirlfriend.com I'm sure you can relate.

 

L

 

Yes, I have tried to forget him. I know what I did was wrong. You misunderstood,though, about how long I dated him--it was a total of a year and a half. We had just been broken up for 3 MONTHS when he married this stranger that he only knew for 2 MONTHS. This guy DID want me--I'm the one who broke up with HIM and moved out of state. He mentioned marriage on several occasions, but his drinking was out of control and he hadn't worked in nine months. HE called ME when I moved out of state, all pissed off and saying that he couldn't believe I'd just run off like that. I needed a good job and to get away from someone who couldn't love me the way I deserved. I admit I may be somewhat obsessed, but I talked to a counselor and she said that my feelings were NORMAL. If this guy had had his life together, I would've married him in a heartbeat. Everyone that responds to this message seems to forget that HE called ME, right in front of his WIFE, lied to her about who he was talking to, and has also called his ex wife and another ex girlfriend! So why am I such a bad person? I doubt very seriously that his wife will go through with the divorce. If she does, it probably means she has FINALLY realized what kind of person she has married, so it will have little to do with me. He already has a grudge against me for leaving him, and I am positively convinced this marriage is partially his way of getting back at me. I don't have any more desire to call him, but it did feel GOOD to stir things up. If his marriage falls apart, I'm sure it'll be something HE'S done. Maybe by then I'll have found someone who TRULY knows how to love.

[Laurynn]

Well, you misunderstood, Miss Know-it-all, about how long we dated--it was a good year and a half!

OH?

 

Well it seems to me that you quite plainly wrote that you two had only dated for ** 3 ** months....

 

"Last January I posted a message about how upset I was that my ex boyfriend of three months had gotten married in December."

 

You just don't get it.

 

You brag that you'd dumped his ass several times, that he had an alcohol problem, that you finally left him and moved out of state. So there, you made your choice, you wanted nothing more to do with him. So then why didn't you LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE and get on with your life?

 

I just don't even understand why you posted your original post to begin with. If you're now writing that he's a cheat, not trustworthy, has a drinking problem, that you'd broken up with him several times in the past and even went so far as to moving out of state to get away from him/after finally leaving him, what the hell is all this about??

 

So WHAT you lost your virginity to him. I'd be willing to bet that 9 out of 10 people don't end up marrying the person they lost their virginity to. That's called life. If it bothers you so much, maybe you should have kept your pants on UNTIL after you'd walked down the aisle.

 

This stuff all seems to be in the past. He's moved on with his life, he's married. Why do you keep bringing all this up? Who cares? Don't you have anything better to do in life? You are obsessed, it would appear. Not even sure why you posted to begin with.....to brag to everyone how sneaky and deceitful you were? How "funny" it was to stir things up in his marriage as a way of getting revenge? YOU LEFT HIM. Get a clue already.

 

L

[Forgotten]

You are a very misinformed, judgemental, needs to get a life person who has no RIGHT to say those things about a TOTAL stranger! For your information, I dated my ex for a YEAR and A HALF--he had gotten married 3 months after we had broken up--to a woman he'd only known for two months. And yes, he'd asked ME to marry him, too, but with his drinking and joblessness, I didn't think it would be a good idea. It is fine for HIM to call me--and my friend, and my mother's--at all hours of the night, to tell me off for leaving him by moving to another state. I loved him dearly--he was the first man I'd ever been with sexually--but he was an alcoholic and verbally abusive. I don't think that two phone calls a month apart make me a "stalker" especiallly since he has called ME, and his wife has called ME 3 times in a week! Why are the harrassees calling the harrasser?? He has said he would call me AGAIN, but hasn't-yet. I'm sorry he married a woman he didn't love just to get back at me for breaking up with him and moving, but that's not my problem. In the past, and even once recently, HE has called my house, my friend's, and my mother's house at all hours of the night, threatening and yelling at me for leaving him. His wife told me that he has also called his ex wife and an old girlfriend, long before they heard from me! So if she has any suspicions, I'm sure they have more to do with other things he's done than any two calls I made. And his being on the single's line is the absolute TRUTH! He his has a new message on there. I thought she should know, I would want to. She married a stranger, so that's HER problem. Maybe I won't hear from him again, and I can deal with that, and I DID enjoy my little bit of revenge. If she does go through with the divorce, I'm sure it will be because of a whole lot of problems-not just me. I told her I didn't want him back, we haven't seen each other since Sept., and that I wasn't trying to break up a marriage. She still seems set to divorce him. Is that my fault? I don't think so. I'm far from sick--I'm smart. I helped another woman get rid of a loser!

You are a sick, mean, spiteful, immature, hurtin' individual. You dated this guy for 3 months (woopee doo, that's not a long time by any stretch)..the poor guy finds someone else (gee, I can see why things with you didn't last) and decides to marry them....then you act like a FREAKIN STALKER. You should be ashamed of yourself, and if I was him or his wife, I'd send the cops on you, get a lawyer and charge you with harassment and stalking. What kind of b*tch would do this to someone's wife, playing these games, having her think he's seeing someone else/isn't being faithful. From one woman to another, you make me sick and I hope you see psychiatric help soon. Leave the guy alone. He doesn't want you, he wants nothing to do with you. He committed his life to his WIFE. No doubt they have unlisted number now...and likely have a restraining order against you, or will get one, should you continue to STALK AND HARASS him and his wife. You are sick, mean and heartless...and you need to get some class. L

[Forgotten]

OK, you need to get a life! I was angry about his marriage because I thought he'd probably been seeing her WHILE he was dating me! Does that make any since to you? Have you ever even HAD a relationship? You say I still "slam" him, but he has problems that he can't help, and that will always ruin his relationships. It's not an insult, it's a fact. When I found out that they hadn't dated until we'd broken up, that made me feel a little better. When I moved, he hadn't called me in 3 weeks, so I figured he was seeing someone else, anyway. THEN he calls me out of the blue all mad that I'd left, and said he hadn't called in so long because he was "punishing" me for something I'd said that he didn't like! Isn't THAT a little crazy, too? You don't know this guy so you are talking out of your ass (which I'm sure is where your brain is located). It's hard to love someone with problems. I hope YOU never have to experience it. It does make you as PSYCHO as he is!

"I'm the one who broke up with HIM and moved out of state." So..YOU left him and YOU moved away. So what was he supposed to do, sit there and pine over you and wait for you to come back? No...he didn't. He realized what a game-playing, control freak you were and he decided to move on with his life.

 

Jesus Christ, you LEFT the guy......so why would you care what he did after YOU left him? You're already dissing him and saying that if his marriage falls apart, that it's because of the kind of guy he is. So why don't you move the hell along and focus your energy on someone else? You are a walking contradiction. You still slam him, yet you obviously cared enough (in your own deluded way) to try and get back at him....for WHAT, I don't know. YOU LEFT HIM AND MOVED AWAY.

 

It's women like you that give the rest of us a bad name. Go visit the site: www.psychoexgirlfriend.com I'm sure you can relate. L

[Laurynn]

I need to get a life? Why, because I'm telling how I honestly feel and you're not liking what I have to say? That's rich.

 

Now, if it's a "fact" that he has problems that will always be there, he's now married to someone, your relationship was not great while you were together (or you wouldn't have broken up with him the # of times you did/nor would you have gone to the extreme of moving out of state), then why are you even here posting about him? You're obsessed. Who cares now, it's all water under the bridge. Do you think he spends his Thursday, on Public Message Boards, talking about you? I don't think so.

 

And for the record, nobody "makes" another person "Psycho".....there's a thing in life called free will. Nobody forces us to do/say/act unless we CHOOSE to.

 

It's really time you got on with your life here, like he has. Whether you approve of his marriage is none of your business. I'm still trying to figure out WHY you posted to begin with. Were you asking for some advice or what?

 

L

[Buckeyegal]

First of all, when you post on a public forum, everyone has the right to judge you and give their opinion...by posting this, you asked for it. It's also rather contradictory when someone, upon getting comments and advice that they don't want to hear, retort with the "you need to get a life" insult. After all, it appears that you also are sitting in front of a computer now, doesn't it?

 

Sweetheart, you need help, and I say this in a kindly manner...from the way I read your posts, this guys sounds like a real jerk, actually sounds a bit like my "ex" lol, the drinking and irresponsibility. I was involved in a similar relationship, the difference being, once I finally got rid of him, I never looked back...something you need to learn to do. You said that the others that came down on you here have obviously never experienced a "longterm passionate love" Honey, what you had with this guy may have been passionate, but it wasn't love. Real love doesn't feel tense and anxious, real love doesn't make you feel like you're a nag because you want your guy to grow up and take responsibility...I think maybe you have the *bad boy* syndrome, you thought if you loved this guy enough, if he just loved you enough, then he would miraculously change, become the guy you wanted. Guess what? It never works out that way, and when it didn't and he found someone else you were hurt. While it is normal to feel hurt, the actions that you've taken since the break up are not, and if your current couselor is not helping you to see this, then you need to find another. Have you told your counselor about the phone calls etc.? You need to let this go, move on. Don't let the hurt and your need for revenge eat you up, not healthy at all. If this guy is the jerk that he seems to be, his wife will realize it on her own...it's not your obligation to inform her. Let it go, don't contact them, make yourself unavailable if they try to contact you...don't continue to immerse yourself in this ugly situation, not only will you not win, but you could be setting yourself up for criminal charges...it's not worth it.

 

Again, I'm trying not to judge you, but you really have handled this situation in a inappropriate way, both with your ex and the other posters here. If you post a topic, then you should be prepared to deal with the opinions and advice that you get, if you can't handle it, then you really shouldn't post. As others here have said, why let people, really faceless entities behind a computer, upset you so much? Hopefully you won't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should print this whole thread out, let your counselor read it...I don't think s/he will be telling you that your reactions are *normal*. I really think you need some help in dealing with you emotions dear, and I hope that you get it.

 

You are a very misinformed, judgemental, needs to get a life person who has no RIGHT to say those things about a TOTAL stranger! For your information, I dated my ex for a YEAR and A HALF--he had gotten married 3 months after we had broken up--to a woman he'd only known for two months. And yes, he'd asked ME to marry him, too, but with his drinking and joblessness, I didn't think it would be a good idea. It is fine for HIM to call me--and my friend, and my mother's--at all hours of the night, to tell me off for leaving him by moving to another state. I loved him dearly--he was the first man I'd ever been with sexually--but he was an alcoholic and verbally abusive. I don't think that two phone calls a month apart make me a "stalker" especiallly since he has called ME, and his wife has called ME 3 times in a week! Why are the harrassees calling the harrasser?? He has said he would call me AGAIN, but hasn't-yet. I'm sorry he married a woman he didn't love just to get back at me for breaking up with him and moving, but that's not my problem. In the past, and even once recently, HE has called my house, my friend's, and my mother's house at all hours of the night, threatening and yelling at me for leaving him. His wife told me that he has also called his ex wife and an old girlfriend, long before they heard from me! So if she has any suspicions, I'm sure they have more to do with other things he's done than any two calls I made. And his being on the single's line is the absolute TRUTH! He his has a new message on there. I thought she should know, I would want to. She married a stranger, so that's HER problem. Maybe I won't hear from him again, and I can deal with that, and I DID enjoy my little bit of revenge. If she does go through with the divorce, I'm sure it will be because of a whole lot of problems-not just me. I told her I didn't want him back, we haven't seen each other since Sept., and that I wasn't trying to break up a marriage. She still seems set to divorce him. Is that my fault? I don't think so. I'm far from sick--I'm smart. I helped another woman get rid of a loser!

[Forgotten]

I was looking for advice, not to be insulted and called names. Sorry you don't know the difference!

I need to get a life? Why, because I'm telling how I honestly feel and you're not liking what I have to say? That's rich. Now, if it's a "fact" that he has problems that will always be there, he's now married to someone, your relationship was not great while you were together (or you wouldn't have broken up with him the # of times you did/nor would you have gone to the extreme of moving out of state), then why are you even here posting about him? You're obsessed. Who cares now, it's all water under the bridge. Do you think he spends his Thursday, on Public Message Boards, talking about you? I don't think so. And for the record, nobody "makes" another person "Psycho".....there's a thing in life called free will. Nobody forces us to do/say/act unless we CHOOSE to. It's really time you got on with your life here, like he has. Whether you approve of his marriage is none of your business. I'm still trying to figure out WHY you posted to begin with. Were you asking for some advice or what? L

[Miss Mojo]

...at the way people get really pissed off when they don't hear the advice they're hoping to hear.

 

just because laurynn and sparkle are being OBJECTIVE and HONEST doesn't mean they are bitches, or lazy computer geeks etc.

 

honestly, i totally understand the pain of broken relationships, what it's like to lose someone you really love and to feel hung up on a person, but why such hostility??

 

sometimes the advice on this board is very blunt for a reason....you would be doing yourself a massive injustice to pursue this guy who obviously has many issues and can call you in front of his wife. imagine the two of you were to get back together oneday....there's every chance that a guy who screws up relationships the way he does will screw you over too, which he has partly done already. do you really think you deserve that? i sure as hell don't think you do.

 

the more you have to do with this guy, the more hurt you will get. true, i don't know him, but from what you have posted, he doesn't sound like the most considerate person in the world, but of course, i'm probably missing plenty of things. but going by what you have written, you'd be much better off without him.

 

relationships that end can be extremely painful, no matter who ends them, but when you spend a bit of time focusing on you and only you, only then will you realise you deserve so much better than this guy.

[Laurynn]

Advice on what? What's there to ask for advice about? The guy has *moved on*....he's *married*......you LEFT HIM and moved away (becuz of his drinking, etc). Those of us who responded to you *DID* give you advice....move on, get some help and stop with the stalking/harassment before you end up with a criminal record. Jesus, lady.....

 

L

[Forgotten]

Thank you. thank you, thank for FINALLY understanding my feelings! I was pretty depressed yesterday after being called a sicko that should be arrested by the other three people who responded. To me, that wasn't really "advice" it was just put downs. But you have actually given me support, encouragement, and ADVICE! No, I'm not planning on contacting my ex again. I think he's found the kind of woman he needs. He told me his mother said I was a "challenge". Well, I guess he just wasn't up to meet the challenge that is me!

...at the way people get really pissed off when they don't hear the advice they're hoping to hear. just because laurynn and sparkle are being OBJECTIVE and HONEST doesn't mean they are bitches, or lazy computer geeks etc. honestly, i totally understand the pain of broken relationships, what it's like to lose someone you really love and to feel hung up on a person, but why such hostility?? sometimes the advice on this board is very blunt for a reason....you would be doing yourself a massive injustice to pursue this guy who obviously has many issues and can call you in front of his wife. imagine the two of you were to get back together oneday....there's every chance that a guy who screws up relationships the way he does will screw you over too, which he has partly done already. do you really think you deserve that? i sure as hell don't think you do. the more you have to do with this guy, the more hurt you will get. true, i don't know him, but from what you have posted, he doesn't sound like the most considerate person in the world, but of course, i'm probably missing plenty of things. but going by what you have written, you'd be much better off without him. relationships that end can be extremely painful, no matter who ends them, but when you spend a bit of time focusing on you and only you, only then will you realise you deserve so much better than this guy.

[sparkle]

Your reply to my post was amusing...and predictable. Most people who have these types of problems are in denial, and they often lash out at the very people that are trying to help them out, so I completely understand your reaction.

 

I do hope you seek additional counseling and get this matter resolved before it becomes worse.

 

Regarding the following comments:

Maybe if YOU ever had a REAL relationship, you could get off this web site and find a MAN, if that's what you want.

I'm currently in a 9 month relationship. I dated my last boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I dated the one before that for 3 years. And in between I've had casual dates. So all my relationships have been quite REAL.

Maybe if YOU had ever had a man say he wanted to be with you forever, marry you, have kids with you, THEN turn around and marry some stranger two months later, you would understand my "psychosis."

Actually, the guy I dated for 2 1/2 years wanted to be with me forever, marry me, and have kids with me, just like your boyfriend did. And a couple months after he broke up, he got engaged. So Yes I have been in a similar situation as yours, and NO I do not understand your "psychosis". In fact, it did not bother me one bit. He is my ex. The day we broke up was the day I stopped being concerned for what he did with his life.

HE already ruined his own life by marrying some desperate woman he didn't love just to get back at me for dumping HIM and moving out of state.

So what if he did? It is STILL none of your business.

I suggest YOU get a life and a job and stop sitting on your lazy, judgemental ass at the computer all day.

Actually, I have a pretty good life, and it is busy enough whereas I don't have all that extra time to sit around and worry about my ex-boyfriends.

 

You are right about the job though. I don't have one right now, I declined two job offers this week because my summer class at my university starts next week. And since I'm only 21, I'd rather hang out with my CURRENT boyfriend and my friends in my free time.

 

And about the lazy part and about sitting on the computer all day, I'm actually exercising now every day so I can throw away my pairs of size 5/6 jeans and fit into size 3 and 4's instead. So if I was lazy and sat around doing nothing, I'd probably be pretty big.

 

But thanks for the wonderful suggestions!