jealousy

[cottoncandy]

I suppose you could say jealousy is one of my pet peeves but then, i have good reasons for it to be. It is what was ALWAYS wrong with a 28 year marriage that otherwise could of lasted 28 more years. This was a deep deep obsesive jealousy that i dont know how many of you have experienced .. but it truley is hell living in day after day. Ex used to check milage in the car if i said i was going anywhere to make sure that the only place i went.. that is if i was ever 'allowed' to go anywhere at all by myself'... He NEVER laet me were sexy clothes .. or make up.. i was not allowed to have 'friends' male, or female, hell he didnt think a man and woman could be just friends without sex involved... He also made life hell on our two grown children.. they were not allowed to have friends over either... He was a damn good father to them.. as far as material things went in buying them anything they wanted... but he was never a 'dad' to them'... i know 29 yrs is along time.. their were many marriage counselors in those years... i tried to make it work but finally had to admit that just one could not make it work. and i guess i reached my lemitations also. So came the divorce. Im saying jealousy may be 'cute' to some people... some think .. well if they are not jealous they dont even care.. but be careful because it can go to extremems . and if your jealous .. wondering if everytime they go out of the house if they are being unfaithful then how can you yourself be happy? Ive always thought and still do think one of the most important parts of a relationship is TRUST.. and if ya aint got it its not a very good relationship to begin with. Their was really no question here.. was just venting i guess on the topic of jealousy. But would like to here if any of you have experienced the same things. where jealousy just boxed you in .

[RainyDayWoman]

i didn't, but i don't let anyone tell me what to do.

 

sorry for your problem. that sucks. i don't think he had so much of a jealousy issue as a control and/or possible abuse problem.

[LucreziaBorgia]

But would like to here if any of you have experienced the same things. where jealousy just boxed you in .

 

I was in one relationship like this. It was a short lived one that I got into in a time of vulnerability and lonliness. I should have known better. But here is what he would do:

 

1. Obsessively grill me about my friends: both male and female

2. Follow me without me knowing it (I found this out later) - he would get in his truck and no matter where I went he would follow me to see where I was and what I was doing.

3. Call constantly to 'say hello' (ie: check up on me)

4. Leave work at odd times and show up to 'surprise me'.

5. Demand to know why I would wear certain things, or fix my hair a certain way, or wear makeup: even to work

6. Accuse me of sleeping with other people, or wanting to

7. Would accuse me of 'checking out guys' - if I happened to even glance at someone, he was like "oh, you want to f*ck that guy don't you"

8. He was physically violent, as well - punching holes in walls, car windows, screaming, explosive violent temper

9. Tell me that he was going to kill himself if I ever cheated on him, or left him

 

After I finally broke up with him (and it took calling the cops to get his stuff out of my house) - about a week or so later I was giving a ride to someone to an early morning meeting and he happened to be at the Hardee's we stopped at to get coffee on the way in. He saw this guy in my car and hurled a milkshake at my car, screaming in public that he was glad this guy had taken that "whore" off his hands (I wasn't even seeing that guy - I was so embarrassed!) It was awful.