i think my dad is cheating on mom

[raj12345]

allright.. it all started like 6 months ago.. i went to a car auction with my dad and we were commin home.. i had a friend with me.. and we were hungry.. so he took us to burger king.. hes like "o i have a phone call to make, and i will come in when im done" he never came.. so we got done eating came back to the car, and as soon as he saw us commin he ended his convo.. so i asked him for his cell, and i checked the dialed calls.. (he didnt know i did) and i remmembered the number, called it back and it was a woman part of a family that we r friends with.. so im like okay. When i get school breaks and stuff, i go with my dad and they talk on the cell with each other.. but i never ask my dad who it is, (knowing its her) and the first time it happend, i told my mom and made a fool out of myself because my mom (in front of him) said, your son thinks u have another womon in ur life.. she laughed.. so i was like he does, that number proves it.. and hes like that wasnt her, it was he husband.. im like wat i freaking liar.. but watever, so like i keep getting suspicion, because i look at his dialed and recieved calls, and he talks to her more than mom!.. and i knw wen he talks to her cuzz he talks to softly, but i dont know wat they talk about.. be he always says "YOU TOO" before he ends the convo.. he never says I LOVE YOU.. so i dont know.. im soooo lost.. my parents have been happily married for like 17 yrs.. i dont think my mom is gonna believe me, and my dad is just gonna lie about it and she is gonna believe him.. this womans husband is my dads good friend, and my dad goes to his business alot, and the woman is the desk person.. and maybe he goes there just to talk to her..? i dont know wat to do about it because i think if i ask my dad he will get mad and say wtf u doin lookin thru who i call?.. and hed juss lie about it.. SO, MY MAIN QUESITON IS, SHOULD I LET IT GO ON, OR TRY TELLIN MOM.. pleaseeee let me know.. i know this is a longgggg post, but i need help.. thank you in advance

[tinktronik]

Hi Raj,

I would suggest you tell your Mom while you two are alone and if she refuses to believe you then just dont approach it again with her.I don't know how old you are but if your still in school you could probably talk to the school counselor if it bothers you. just so you can vent your feelings and such.

[cottoncandy]

I would get your parents together and confront your dad with your suspicions and why you feel the way you do. tell him about the phone call , checking his cell , and so forth, do it with them together though so he dont have time to think up of any before answers. I think its something you all need to discuss together then your not takeing sides. just tell them you have a concern and wanna talk to both of them openly about it... i wish you luck ,, it has to be bothering you a great deal and cant be easy for you. Doyou know if either of them has ever been unfaithful before?

[raj12345]

nope, never any suspicons.. im just so scared something might happen.. im 15..

[Mary3]

One of the signs of cheating are the person using another phone without the presence of anyone around.

The compulsion to call that person becomes all consuming and your dad even has to do it when you are around.

 

The second dead giveaway is the " you too " when he ends the calls...yeowch !

 

Now it could be entirely possible that he is talking to the man instead of the wife. If he is, what could they be talking about at great length ? Could he be interested in the man for some reason. ? Business deal, or worse ?

 

But speculation won't solve this suffering you are going through. I would ask your father straight out alone if he is having an emotional affair or otherwise. If he denies it ( likely ) then your next step is to talk to your mother and tell her you want family counseling to stop this spiraling snowball coming down the mountain.

 

You checking his private incoming calls will anger him , I am sure of that.

 

Most people committing affairs go to great lengths to have them and he is doing ( if this is true ) FAR more than you are aware, even sexually involved and possibly love.

 

You are in a for a fight if he loves this other women.

 

Be prepared. Talk to your school counselor for some immediate assistance

[jd2008]

i dont think you should let it go try 2 investigate watz up wit yo dad dats too suspicious wat whould him n dat women need 2 talk about anywayz well im kinda in da same situation n im only 15 i think my dad is cheaten on my mom cuz 1 day i went 2 the bath room n my dads cell was there so i decided 2 look through since he had done that 2 my cell 2 n i new text message was sent 2 him so i read it n it said{ill be waiting 4 you my love} n its understand his mechanic friend so i forward da messagee 2 my cell n called that bi*** n it was a female but i still dont noe wat 2 do i dont have the guts 2 tell my mom im scared so dont give up do something bout

[ce11111]

Hi. I'm 23 years old and I found out that my dad was communicating with his ex-girlfriend about 2 years ago. I had suspected that they also had an affair when he went back to his hometown. I confronted him about it, and he told me that he loved my mom, but I could never understand the love that he had for his high school girlfriend. In the end, he asked me not to tell my mom. Fast-forward to the current date. Although he had tried to drop hints that he was no longer emailing her, I still suspected that he was still continuing a relationship with this woman. So, I checked his inbox and sure enough found many emails - almost every day - and all up to the recent date. By reading the emails, I have been able to confirm that he did have an affair 2 years ago and was still cheating on my mom via email / phone etc. Now, I'm lost at what to do - I want to tell my mom, but I'm afraid of hurting her. I feel a strong resentment towards my dad for putting me in this situation. What should I do?

[bestfriendislost]

My best friend is 21, 22 in just a couple months, and she is in the same position that you are. When we where in high school, she told me that her Dad was cheating on her Mom and was going to leave her... but the thing is... he never did. They drew up the divorce papers, and got everything in line but never signed?!? Wierd huh. Well just yesterday we were at a friends house(he was a teacher in high school and a good friend now) and told us that her Dad is at it again. She is pretty upset and doesn't know what to do either... I have come up with lots of things, but none of them seem like they would work... Her Mom seems so.... "not in reality" "everything is perfect" which makes me think that she really knows... I was hoping that together maybe we could come up with some ideas..... I was thinking a letter with as much evidence as possible and send it to her work with no return address and type it so she cant seen the had writing...

let me know what you think

[rams-bonez]

well,im the daughter of two parents and i also have a sister. im 16, she's 22. i have this feeling that tells me my dad is cheating on my mom - its obviously something i wanna ignore but i cant anymore. my sis has the same feeling. he worx with this lady older than him and she always buys my sis and i christmas presents and takes us out to the cinemas, buys us expensive things etc.... its totalli weird coz we dont expect him 2 b like this. he's so benevolent and stuff, but he doesn't treat my mom with any respect and he swears at her and everything. it jst gets worse. also, something i find realli suspicious is that he only has his hair cut at 6am evry 4th saturdai at this place it doesn't open until 9am. a middle-aged woman cuts his hair but y does he make his appointments so early and so subtle?? he even told my mom that he prefers to date older women. my intuition tells me he's cheating with the woman at his work and the hairdresser. they're both older than him. my dad also takes his cell to another room, like outside or the bathroom if we r all home and his phone rings and its that woman. lately, my dad has been keeping secrets from the rest of us (me, sis and mom) and he changes the conversation if we try to confront him. i tried the other day (with my mom and sis being in the same room) saying to him "we can tell ur keeping secrets from us and we want u 2 tell us wat they are." can i get some advice pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze. thanx heaps u guyz!

[~sunshine~]

dear all that have posted above...

so sorry to say this but everything u have all described is clearly cheating. exactly my fathers behaviour for the past 3 years. there is no reason that ur fathers (and mine) would behave like this unless they were up to something..because when ur innocent what do u have to hide that means u need to hide ur phone...delete numbers..use the phone when ur alone...? i dont want anyone to hurt like i did but im telling you now...the longer it goes on the worse it will get. i do believe that if u have a gut feeling about something u are right...i was. my dad would go outside and whisper on the phone....but when i checked his phone it was his friends number... yea well turned out it was his friends wife...the little £$%^$...he was always protective of his phone and would always delete his calls..he was so hurtful and disrespectful to my mother over the past few years sayin she gettin old she doesnt make effort to look good...that he could get anyone he wanted now.....but he joked a little too much about it. i told my mother of the things i was suspicous about, she laughed but i made her realise these were things that there was no innocent explanation for. we confronted my dad and he was like "omg i cant believe u think that of me". so my mother went undercover and found out a lot more than we expected. she told him "its ok she believed he was innocent" so that he would calm down....then every morning before he got up she went to his car and put a tape recorder under his seat...it can record for up to a few hours...just in time to record any calls he made on his way to work...and surely enough when she would listen to the tapes he used to call his other woman every morning after droppin my bro at school. my mom found secret jewlery and restaurant reciepts in the tyre compartment of his car...i could go on there was so much. basically she wanted to know exactly what was going on and collected enough evidence to be certain he was unfaithful....when she was sure and it all came out it was the most painful thing ever to see my mother hurt like this and to feel my dad betrayed us. but i still think u need to tell ur moms because it will never stay a secret forever one day it will all come out and the longer he cheated for the more its gonna hurt her and the harder it will be for him to wake up. believe me if u tell ur dad u found out its not gonna stop him..he'll just put u in the middle and beg u not to tell ur mom. having been through it i think ur moms should know...maybe u can collect evidence like we did...but my advice would be to speak to someone else like a counsellor or someone else that u can trust that is married...but not someone who might tell ur dad. just remember that although what ur dads are doing is wrong..they are human they are not saints and all people make mistakes. im not saying its right what they did im just saying dont get too hurt about it. i wish u all the best.

[mamaj5]

Hi,

 

I just found out my dad was cheating yesterday. For certain. I heard him talking to a woman on the phone who definitely wasn't my mom saying things like, "I will give you a massage", and I'll see you in ten minutes, and then upon going out he told me that his best friend got a flat tire and he was going to help him. I confronted him. He knows I heard everything but is still denying it. I'm in the middle of it right now.

 

I understand what you're saying about your dad speaking too softly. Trust your instincts, but I strongly feel that you should get more proof before you talk to your mom. The 'YOU TOO' ending sounds super suspicsious but your mom may accept the excuse that the person was saying something like, "have a good day" and your dad was responding with 'you too." It may not be easy but try to scrounge something up. It's tough for you because your dad has legitmate reasons to visit this person, but I REALLY think you need more proof. Try to listen in when he's unaware of your presence and call him on it if you hear something that's a givaway and then talk to your mom about it. Look for condoms. You're mom and he probably don't use them. Do you know if she's had her tubes tied or if he's had a visectomy? or if she's on borth control? if any they don't use condoms in places he'd keep them. His jacket pockets. underwear drawer. glove compartment. hidden places you think he might hide things.

 

also keep in mind that you may be wrong. you're dad may not be doing anything wrong. you'd rather have that be the truth anyway right? so believe it but keep your eyes and ears open. do a little snooping when the opportunity arises. trust me knowing the truth is a hell of alot worse than having suspicsions.

 

good luck to you, and be safe. don't stop loving your family no matter what. people make dispicable mistakes sometimes but try to work it out. you only have one father.

[yaya]

i'm 21 and just found out my dad cheated on my mom...she told me today over the phone that he admitted to only once. but i don't believe it was just once....he's a liar anyway. it makes me very mad even tho i remember when i was still living at home (i'm in college dorm) i sometimes suspected that something was going on. for one, one night he was online and need to go outside and help my bro with something dealing with his car, so i jumped on real quick to see what he was looking at and saw him in a "married and flirting" chatroom at yahoo. i was appalled. so i quickly left and when they came back inside, i quietly told my bro and he had the nerve to say maybe he was talking to a friend. altho i know my bro knew better. besides that, i had seen him looking at porn. it seems like there were more suspicious incidents, but i don't remember. i don't remember what caused me to be so suspicious of what he was doing online that night, but i know after that i didn't trust him at all. everytime i'd see him on the computer, i would think to myself that he's probably chatting with some bitch. he's retired army, but still works doing the same job, which requires him to take trips frequently - without my mom. so i always think he's messing around. it repulses me and makes me think so lowly of him. not to mention whoever the bitch is....you can be no higher than bitch status for screwing around with a married man. i hate to think how my mom must feel..that's what makes it hurt even more. she's the most beautiful woman i've ever known.

[Guest]

hi im not sure if my dad is cheating on mom he is very protective of his phone but once he left it on my bed, i looked through his texts and there was a text from a woman who he works with it said 'missing you 2 i love steve' steve is my dads name. i gave him the benifit of the doubt but then on the internt where you have history of what you have looked at there were a few thing he had typed into google ' black whores' 'black tarts' and 'black sex' this woman who he may b seeing is black. Is he or isnt he plz help me?!?!?!

[Guest]

tell me if this is cheating my mother is in a.a & she takes like 1 extra hour to get back & its right down the road !!! i can t tell buit she answers her phone all moany & s**** tell me if she is!!!

[Guest]

for the last year we've had evindence my mom was seeing another guy but me and my dad always gave her a second chance. We have found cell phones and other stuff she had 6 cell phones we found and my dad forgave her every time. she always tells him she is going to another tanning salon that is farther away.she is always drinking and taking illegal pills my dad has found. Just tonight my dad found out where this guy lives, and he snuck over there and found them having sex and she had missing birth control pills. he kicked down the door and saw them togther and beat the s*** out of the man. they've been married for 20 years and now its all gone. i need someone to help me cuz i cannot deal with this i am only 13 years old. any advice from anyone whos gone through this will be good. ty for listening to my problem.

[BlahBlahQueen]

Sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. Call a relative or family friend right away and arrange to stay with them until this blows over. You don't need to be in the line of fire; neither of your parents are in the right mindset and you don't need the emotional stress of being around either of them right now. Although you may feel like you need to be there for your dad during this difficult time, there's nothing much you can do for him and your psychological well-being is more important.

[RecordProducer]

hi im not sure if my dad is cheating on mom he is very protective of his phone but once he left it on my bed, i looked through his texts and there was a text from a woman who he works with it said 'missing you 2 i love steve' steve is my dads name. i gave him the benifit of the doubt but then on the internt where you have history of what you have looked at there were a few thing he had typed into google ' black whores' 'black tarts' and 'black sex' this woman who he may b seeing is black. Is he or isnt he plz help me?!?!?!

This is really funny! You think your dad googled the other woman as a "black whore"? LOL.

He obviously was browsing some porn with black girls (please note that this is nothing bad and you sneaking up on him is invading his privacy, which you as his child, are not allowed to!)

 

To the original poster, I think you're being paranoid about the whole situation. Even if your dad talks to the woman, it doesn't mean he is sleeping with her and your mom's reaction means your comment was ridiculous. So relax and enjoy your childhood, sweetie! Stop sneaking around. If you find out that he is really having an affair, then start worrying. After all, it's not the end of the world and given that your parents have been happily married for 17 years, I don't think you should worry about them getting divorced any time soon.

 

Sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. Call a relative or family friend right away and arrange to stay with them until this blows over. You don't need to be in the line of fire; neither of your parents are in the right mindset and you don't need the emotional stress of being around either of them right now. Although you may feel like you need to be there for your dad during this difficult time, there's nothing much you can do for him and your psychological well-being is more important.

For Christ's sake, he is only 15 years old, he can't move away! And there is nothing going on (that's proven) outside his mind so your suggestion is way too much exaggerated.

[BlahBlahQueen]

No, silly, read the post just before mine. I was not writing to the OP. I was writing to the 13-year-old kid whose dad beat up the OM tonight.

[RecordProducer]

Oh, ok. Sorry. I guess I became dumb since I got married!

 

It;s more convenient to quote the paragraph you refer too otherwise if you're not referring to the original poster.

[April M E]

hiya

 

im not sure you have enough evidence to prove anything yet..

 

i do think you should talk to your dad about it and get an explanation, he could generally be talking to her husband. have you looked at text messeages on his phone??

 

my dad had an affaire with his secutary, my mum found out by finding texts on his phone.

 

any way i hope it is all just a misunderstanding

 

much love

[Guest]

okay so i can totally relate to your situation, tonight i actually found an email from my dads old "friend" saying things like she has trust issues and that they have seen eachother 2 days ago. My dad works out of state a lot so i have been suspicious since early last sept. and confronted him about it but he lied everytime. so i sorda dropped it bc after i told my mom, she didnt seem to do much about it but she doesnt deserve what hes doing to her. In this email, i found out that my dad has been cheating or whatever for 10 YEARS!! i dont know what to do, i just cant believe im going through this and that my dad would be doing this to our family. I think you definitely need to confront your dad at some point or it will ruin you. When i was first suspicious, i told a friend who went through the same thing and she said to definitely tell him and my mom so that you wont be tortured by it like you probably are. Just find someone to tell so you cna get it off your chest and eventually tell your dad. if anyone can help me, please reply. i really dont know what to do, it's so hard.

 

-good luck!

[Guest]

ever since i was a child my dad has been a family man. always talked about pride and honour and being the best you can be. Just this year ive been getting a little suspicous. We own a family business and this new bitch that started working there abotut 2 years ago, recently told my dad everything about me, and that i have a boyfriend. She acted lieke my friend got to know everything about me and then fully just turned around and backstabbed me. Here's where i begin getting suspicous of my dad and her. Firstly, she could have told my mom about my relationship with my boyfriend and not stayed after work to tell my dad when they were alone. Also till this day her and my dad both deny the fact that the bitch told my dad about my boyfriend and claim, supposedly that my dad got an anoymous phone call that night and thats how he found out about my boyfriend (which is toatally impossible!!!!). Being clever enough i went the next day and checked each and every phone at work and there was no private call from that night. Everytime we would brign her name up infront of my dad he would get nervous and leave the room because he could not answer the questions we asked him. Looking back to the time before this incident her and my dad always used to look at eachother in a rather odd way, sort of like their intentions for eachother were written on their face. Even now 3 months later my dad always goes out of his way to please her and always defends her if she makes a mistake at work. It's not just me who sees this all the other workers think her and my dad have something going on. I tried talking to my mom about it but instead of trusting me on what i think she now actually thinks that the bitch is the best worker at work and what she did was in the best interest of my family. BULLs***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

I need some help. Im so confused over the fact that i dont know if my Dad is cheating or not? IS HE? He is a well known and respect man in my neighbourhood and just to even think that this coudl be happening is so hard to believe. Is this just fliritng or could there be more to the story?