My mind feels crippled :-(

[Giselle]

I feel like I'm being such a child (I'm 21)...but I have a HUGE issue with being by myself late at night. I live with 2 other roomates, and when I am the only one home in the apartment, I just...can't focus or concentrate. I start off rambling through the rooms, mindlessly straightening up stuff, then I return to my desk and just...sit at my laptop, not really doing anything but reading the news, blogs, stuff like that until somebody comes home. I only have a small inkling where this orginates from--as I grew up in a very safe neighborhood, can't remember watching any scary movies or TV shows that address this. The ONLY time I ever felt afraid was the one and only time that both my parents left my younger sister (she's 19) and I at home alone with a babysitter, which was my grandma (my dad's mom). I want to say I was around 6-8 years old. I cried when they left, but don't remember that much more about it. One of my parents (usually my mom) was always home with my sister and I at night and this was the only time (well until we got older, of course!) that they had both left. (almostthere's thread in the Family forum totally brought back this memory and I've been thinking about this a lot)

 

My sister has this same fear (I don't think as bad as mine). Right after I went off to college a few years ago, she admitted that she was home alone a lot and that she really hated it at night. My sister and I are very different (me=high-strung, perfectionist, antisocial, shy and my sister=laidback, very friendly and outgoing).

 

So...I think I'm at least going to go see the university counseling center and talk this out or something. I hate living like this! Neither of my roomates know because I don't want them to feel that they now have to be home all the time cuz I'm scared! Thanks for listening...any insights on my issue?

[rschief]

this can be from something we remember or something we do not, and triggers can be associated with this disorder. If something triggers an emmotion in your subconscious and you then will react. you have formatted coping skills subconsciously and now they are habbits. There also is a disorder called panick attacks, or some call it anxiaty attacks. This can trigger the fear of being in danger, and possably you subconsciously accepted safety in numbers make you feel someone will help when you are , or if danger arrises. You also are formatting these ideas subconsciously and they are becoming stronger programs. These programms form paths for what their securityneeds subconsciously, of course with your assistance. Counsoler is good help hear to help you help re train your ideas for coping skills. A good self deffense class could help. beaware of emergancy exits and emergancy plans for yourself, ask your subconscious mind to help you and work with you. This is ampliefied greatly when we ask jesus christ for help, and incorporate our will with God Almightys' will, and we thank them for their help.