flat chested and hating it

[lifeasiknowit]

A part of me thinks that going through surgery would help significantly with my self esteem, but then another part thinks, that I can't depend on the surgery thing to do this, to wait for that, and put my confidence on hold till then. Plus, I'm reluctant to put such a financial investment on it. Honestly, I would rather use my hard earned money to pay for my student debt, to travel.

 

I have heard that birth control pills can create an increase in breast size. I might try that.

[Outcast]

A part of me thinks that going through surgery would help significantly with my self esteem, but then another part thinks, that I can't depend on the surgery thing to do this, to wait for that, and put my confidence on hold till then.

 

In fact, reputable surgeons will not do surgery on women who are counting on the surgery to help them gain self-esteem.

 

Plus, I'm reluctant to put such a financial investment on it. Honestly, I would rather use my hard earned money to pay for my student debt, to travel.

 

A much smarter option!

 

I have heard that birth control pills can create an increase in breast size. I might try that.

 

Don't try anything artificial. I am starting to suspect that besides having fallen for the myth that all men want big boobs you're also one of those people who fears getting 'fat' and so doesn't eat as she should. Really, what you do now for your health will count for your whole life so rather than taking pills or having surgery, adopt a healthier lifestyle which includes eating better. HC's right that you can carry easy snacks of nuts and dried fruit - or power bar-type snacks and they have a lot of nutrition plus the calories you need.

[lifeasiknowit]

I honestly have ok eating habits, it's just I have a high metabolism, and I think I'm really small boned. Yes, I don't want to be fat, but I don't think that's going to happen. No one in my family is remotely fat. I guess I've grown up being told that a girl's looks are a valuable asset. I remember my mother telling my younger sister that girls have to take care of their appearance while men can get fat, whatever. My mother also every now and then used to comment on my sister's weight as a child of 12 or 13. It was just baby fat! She's average weight now at 16, but she was dieting and losing weight from it last year. I told her that it wasn't a good idea to diet at her age especially since she was still growing and needed to eat right.

 

I myself can eat what I want, and tend to eat fast food a few times a week. I'm going to try to gain weight, but at the same time I never work out. Like it's not healthy to eat like crazy and not be physically active right? I want to be active for health reasons, because although I'm skinny, I feel unfit, tired all the time, ect. But if I work out, then I'll just be negating my weight gain effort, which means I'll have to eat a hell of a lot all the time!

[westernxer]

I guess I've grown up being told that a girl's looks are a valuable asset.

 

Striving to look your best shows that you care about yourself.

 

In fact, reputable surgeons will not do surgery on women who are counting on the surgery to help them gain self-esteem.

 

Not in this city.

 

Plastic surgery is all about gaining self-esteem, and vanity, and keeping up with the status quo, especially if you count yourself among the rich and famous, or just want to impress your friends and colleagues.

 

If you want to trade up, it's highly recommended.

[lifeasiknowit]

yeah, I agree with you westernxer, but girls much more than boys are always complimented based on their appearance. Why? Because a girl's looks are seen as more valued in our society. As a kid, a girl is commented not just on how she looks but also on her gifts, like academics, music, sports, but then when she hits the teen years, her looks become more important, and sometimes those gifts are less valued for the sake of being more attractive, to get dates, to get the boy you like to like you back.

 

There are media pressures. We always see the images of the perfect, skinny, blonde, blue eyed big breasted women and girl's end up feeling ashamed, inadequate. They internalize these images. Did you know the average model is 5' 10" and 110 lbs?

 

There is that disciplined effort to "look after herself" and if she doesn't doll up, wear makeup, she is seen as "letting herself go".

 

The standards are unrealistic but we are told that it's achievable only if we work harder, consume more products, and women are rewarded for this disciplined effort in our society. Think about it. In the news, you see old male newscasters but their female counterparts are usually young and beautiful. The men are still respected. They are distinguished. Women are valued for their appearance and that's the plain truth.

 

And yet, even though I am conscious of all of it, I still buy into it, because you have to do what you have to do to step out of your house, and function in society.

[westernxer]

...girls much more than boys are always complimented based on their appearance. Why? Because a girl's looks are seen as more valued in our society.

 

You're right about that.

 

So, when's your appointment?

[lifeasiknowit]

appointment?

 

Well...if you mean surgury, I don't think I'm going to go through with that, but I'll try anything else.

[GuySimple]

Hey Life… When it comes right down to it you could receive all the advice in the world and have a thousand people tell you their thoughts but you have to feel good about yourself.

 

Take some time and get comfortable with who you are physically. You’re only 21 so believe me you still have a lot of growing to do physically. Rather than concentrating on what others want to see, take some time to think of some of the benefits of having a body type like yours.

 

If down the road you decide that you would like larger breast make sure it is because you want them not that you think that all of a sudden men will be flocking to your door. There is nothing nicer than the natural female form in all shapes and sizes.

 

For what it is worth I have a good friend who is flat like an aircraft carrier but is also a professional ballet dancer and very good. She has always said the she was blessed with the body of a dancer. So it is all in how you see yourself, not how others see you, which will make you beautiful.

[jason4233]

you know breast arnt everything and they wont make a realationship work it is all about the person you are. and if you carry yourself in a certain way then youll find the right person and they wont care. its all how you feel about yourself. and if you stop worring about the size youll see that you probly pushed alot of great guys away just because you were insecure.

[Outcast]

Westernxer lives in LA, where natural boobs have been declared extinct. There's nothing but silicone and botox left there. Look for the opinions of people who still like real humans rather than prefabbed clones.

[lifeasiknowit]

 

Although I agree with westernxer about trying to look your best, the whole "keeping up with the status quo" thing is really false. Beauty standards are not permanent or universal. It's a moving target, really. Yet, nowadays, the western ideal is prevalent every where. I know many Asian women do get their noses reconstructed to look more caucasian, with a higher bridge.

[lifeasiknowit]

does anyone know how I can get my hands on clothes that actually fit me nicely? I can never find shirts that fit me right. It's really fustrating.

[westernxer]

Look for the opinions of people who still like real humans rather than prefabbed clones.

 

You calling me a clone? Well, I am a clone of my parents. Sort of.

[Yamaha]

 

Although I agree with westernxer about trying to look your best, the whole "keeping up with the status quo" thing is really false. Beauty standards are not permanent or universal. It's a moving target, really. Yet, nowadays, the western ideal is prevalent every where. I know many Asian women do get their noses reconstructed to look more Caucasian, with a higher bridge.

 

I agree with your assessment but the only one here you have to satisfy is yourself. You seem to be the one who is insecure about your flat chest. So many women say that a bigger chest makes their clothes fit better but we all know it's the attention from men that increases their confidence. If it was a world of women a flat or large chest would have little Bering. Do what makes you feel good about yourself and don't be ashamed of the method to achieve your goal.

[westernxer]

So many women say that a bigger chest makes their clothes fit better but we all know it's the attention from men that increases their confidence.

 

Amen to that, and to everything else you just said, Yamaha.

 

With her body type, a bigger chest would make her totally hot.

[lifeasiknowit]

well, westernxer, I guess I know what kind of body type you like:p

[Milo]

There are some women on this forum that might be able to help you make some decisions about this. They discuss their experiences pro and con.

 

http://forum.breasttalk.co.uk/forums/forum-view.asp?fid=4

[lifeasiknowit]

some info i found on a website:

 

Breast implants will of course make your breasts bigger. Unfortunately, they bring with them a lot of physical suffering and sometimes even a crippling disease. You will need several surgeries during your lifetime. Breast implants also will endanger your future ability to breastfeed.

 

Birth control pills may for some women have the side effect of increasing breast size. This is because of the estrogen they contain

 

I want to try the birth control pills before I try surgury. I have heard that they can make a big difference. Has anyone had any positive results from birth control pills, any big difference in breast size?

[Outcast]

BC pills also have side-effects. Really, just eat.

[lifeasiknowit]

a question for outcast:

 

how long did it take you to gain the weight that you wanted?

 

What parts of your body did you gain the most weight?

 

What made you want to gain weight in the first place?

[quankanne]

are there any simple exercises to help gain muscle mass in that area? I'd think that'd be a nice basis for increasing bust size, and much, much better than lugging around hunks of silicone or fat in a size C or D!

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

You're 21, you are young. I understand that your body image is extremely important, especially at this age when you're so sensitive to male attention (or lack thereof).

 

So let's address the issue. First off, yes, being Asian predisposes you towards having a small bone structure and therefore, a smaller chest. A lot of this is genetically inherited, so if this runs in your family, chances are high that you'll follow the pattern.

 

You're young, and you could benefit from gaining weight. That being said, there's a limit to the extent to which you can alter your basic body type (think about the thousands of women still crying over their butts / waists after working out like freaks).

 

You may want to think about plastic surgery - but keep that for later down the road. Your health is so much more important - think of all the good things you'll miss if you're recuperating first from breast augmentation surgery, then follow-up surgery, yadda yadda..

 

Don't take BC pills. It would be like taking an antacid for a headache.

 

You know something? You'd be surprised how many women sport the busty look with "enhancement" bras. It makes a big difference. Actually, a lot of Asian girls I know look "adequately endowed", and they're all wearing the gel bras from VS. So - everybody's doing it!!

 

About finding clothes your size, this is a general rule: Get clothes from nice stores. ALL the leading women's clothing retailers have clothes that would fit you. Believe me, a lot of them are specifically making a "special size" for Asian women, who tend to be much smaller. They might be expensive, but they're worth it.

 

And lastly, I agree with the person who said here "breasts don't make a relationship". The sexiest part of a woman is her personality. And that includes her intelligence, character, and confidence. And the best kind of men are those who'll appreciate the entire package!

[Israfil]

lifeasiknowit:

 

1) Do you get your periods regularly?

2) Are you an athlete, very athletic or active?

3) Have you had your hormone levels tested?

[Jlmic1]

lifeasiknowit-

 

I don't know if this will apply to you, or if it will help you feel any better but...

 

When I was 21, I had a growth spurt. I didn't get taller, and I didn't gain weight.. but my breasts just grew out of no where. I wasnt "flat chested" to begin with, but I was breastfully challenged ... they grew a full cup size out of the blue.

 

Its true that at 21, you can still have parts of your body bloom out of no where.

 

I too, am very skinny.. You said that you are 5'4 and 103-105lbs I think??

I'm 5'5- 104lbs.

 

I don't have much but I'm proud of what I've got

 

I hope this gave you some hope. Hang in there.

[MissAsia]

I don't want to discourage you, but I doubt that you will experience another growth spurt. I'm Asian myself and I tend to believe that this kind of growth spurt doesn't really happen with Asian people. I think the tendency to have smaller breast is genetically regulated and you won't be able to do much about it. I'd try gaining weight, but I still doubt that you will notice much difference. My mom is around 5' and she used to weigh maybe 92 lbs when she was younger. She had maybe an A size and despite gaining weight due to medications (now she weighs maybe 130 lbs?) there is still no difference.

 

Even if you're having doubts now, character, humour and intelligence can take you a long way. You had someone ask you out and it was not your lack of breasts that drove him away, but you yourself did it. Not for everybody a smoking hot body is important, some guys prefer a cute face and a nice smile. And others may prefer great legs and a well-shaped butt to breasts. My butt is more flat than round and after reading all these posts I started worrying about it a bit, but life's too short to worry about everybody's opinion. You can't be perfect and make it right for everyone. You're Asian, you possess certain great features of your race and you're not expected to look like Pamela Anderson.

 

With respect to birth control pills, I was put on them recently and yes, I do notice a difference. *sigh* My breasts are swollen *all* the time and it hurts. Ouch...