flat chested and hating it

[Hot Coco]

a question for outcast:

 

how long did it take you to gain the weight that you wanted?

 

What parts of your body did you gain the most weight?

 

What made you want to gain weight in the first place?

 

Life, was this meant for me? I'm the one who went on the diet in Jan. and I'm still trying to gain 10 more pounds remember?

 

I haven't gained all of the weight yet. I've gained 10 pounds so far. First place I noticed a change was butt and thighs and then boobs. Went up a cup size.

 

I've been too thin my whole life. I've weighed in the low 90's ever since I was in high school (fast metabolism). I'm 5 ft 4 like you. Just tired of being too skinny. I was so worried when I got pregnant weighing 90 lbs but doctor said i'm just naturally that way and not too worry. I thought I'd have a premature or underweight baby but he was 6 lbs 14 oz. Perfectly normal.

 

Anyway, I got tired of being too skinny. Wouldn't wear a bathing suit in public or shorts, etc. This summer was so much better for me! I have cleavage...yeah! I look MUCH better but I'm STILL not where I want to be.

 

My husband always thought I was fine but now he can't get enough of me! Just eat 5 to 6 times a day and you should be able to do this. Drink a Carnation instant breakfast with WHOLE milk as one of your snacks or as breakfast if you normally skip breakfast.

 

If you have any more questions just ask me.

[Moai]

If you just can't get past what your body looks like, then save up and change it.

 

I think I can speak for most men when I say that as much as I lke breasts, I don't care how big the girl's are that I am dating. When I date a woman who has large breasts, I find myself getting a charge seeing a woman with small ones, and vice versa. You always want what you can't have, I guess. But it is an insignificant thing and I wouldn't think of leaving someone just for that. The opposite of who I am with is just fantasy fodder, nothing more.

 

I have known women who had to have reduction surgery because their breasts were throwing their back out, and they lament the fact that gravity is taking it's toll, and all that jazz. Few people are totally happy with their bodies, you just find a way to accept it and live with it. I read somewhere that Angelina Jolie has issues with her body, even. So don't fret!

[lifeasiknowit]

to israfil:

 

no, i don't have my period regularly. In fact, I on average get them a few times a yr! I was a late bloomer, getting my first period at the age of 14. I have yet to see my doctor about it because I don't like him and have yet to change doctors. And I haven't had my hormone levels checked out. I'm not an athelte but was heavily involved in dance in junior high, but that was several years ago. Right now I am very unactive. Too busy with school and work.

 

I'm unhappy with my body and want to change it not only to attract male attention but to feel normal. I don't feel normal. The only thing preventing me from having any surgery done is the fact that I need money for more important things like tuition.

 

oh, and yeah, hot coco, those questions were meant for you.

 

I read a quote somewhere by Thoreau that made me think that all I need to do is think positive thoughts about myself everyday to convince myself that I'm not ugly:

 

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

 

But telling myself that I'm pretty, that I'm normal doesn't work because I just don't believe it, and end up laughing at myself like it's a joke.

 

But I'll certainly try to gain weight.

[Outcast]

no, i don't have my period regularly. In fact, I on average get them a few times a yr! I was a late bloomer, getting my first period at the age of 14. I have yet to see my doctor about it because I don't like him and have yet to change doctors.

 

OK right here is a bad sign. You need to get that new doctor immediately and get checked out before you start messing with your body. You could have a hormone imbalance, a pituitary gland problem, or any number of issues that need addressing fast and which may be the cause of your dislike of your body.

 

And it's not about 'telling yourself you're pretty'. It's about telling yourself that you like you and screw what the rest of the world thinks. Everybody loves somebody and someone will be interested in you (already has!!!) no matter what you happen to think about you. So the fact that some guy was interested in you proves that your belief about yourself is not grounded in fact.

 

So get to a doctor STAT and find out what's going on with you and then buy yourself some books on self-esteem.

 

Concentrate on becoming an accomplished human being and take your pride in your accomplishments and look for people who appreciate you for that rather than for how many ounces of flab there are hanging off the front of your chest. And that includes the men here who are urging you to get enhanced. Don't respond to the fantasies of strangers - you may well end up turning off a guy who would otherwise like you. In fact, the chances a guy will lose interest over the fake boobs is far greater than the chance a guy will not be interested if you get them.

[lifeasiknowit]

I've always thought that my irregular periods were because I am underweight. But it's not like I'm a gymnast or ballet dancer. I'm not totally sure exactly how much I am underwieght.

[Hot Coco]

Hey Life,

 

First of all don't let people on here scare you and tell you to rush to a doctor. I didn't have normal monthly periods until I was 34 years old! I know that's weird but being that I've always been underweight, I didn't have enough body fat. And I wasn't any kind of athlete or dancer either. Sounds like it's the same for you. Yes, there could be other reasons, but it's not likely. You might want to go for a check-up at some point just to be sure. For some reason, after childbirth at 34 my periods became like clockwork even though I went right down to my low 90's weight that I was before the pregnancy.

 

Ok, as far as what you should weight. There again, do not go by charts or what other people say. YOU need to decide for yourself what a good weight would be for you. I'm very small boned and now that I've gained 10 pounds, I'm really happy with my bust, waist, hips but my arms and legs still are not to my liking. So I'm going for another 10 pounds. I think a good weight for you if you're really small-boned like me would be between 108 and 115. But like I said you know yourself better and you're in the best position to know what your proper weight should be.

 

As far as clothes go, I'm not sure I understood your question. I see nothing wrong with wearing a padded bra if your clothes will fit better. What kinds of clothes are you having trouble with as far as fit?

 

And you're very pretty, Life. You just need to be more confident that's all.

 

 

 

 

You WILL see a difference when you gain. How much of a difference is hard to say though. Genes do play a big part on where this weight will go.

[Outcast]

First of all don't let people on here scare you and tell you to rush to a doctor. I didn't have normal monthly periods until I was 34 years old!

 

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Just because there was nothing wrong with you does not mean there isn't something wrong with the OP. Do you not get that?

 

If this girl has never had her irregular periods checked out, it needs to be done IN CASE it's something serious.

 

YOU need to decide for yourself what a good weight would be for you

 

There are a lot of anorexics who are not able to make that sort of good judgement.

[lifeasiknowit]

I'm really glad that I can come here to express all of these issues, because I have never mentioned these insecurities to anyone, really.

 

The whole bra thing, is just not feasible because, well... I don't even wear a size, I don't think there is anything in the market that would fit me.

 

and um, outcast, I don't think you meant to say that I'm anorexic, but in case you're wondering. I'm not. I don't have any eating disorder.

[Outcast]

There are bras made for all shapes and sizes. Try Elita.

[lifeasiknowit]

What kinds of clothes are you having trouble with as far as fit?

 

I don't like wearing low cut tops (no cleavage) or almost any top in general. I don't like wearing tight shirts. What happens then, is I always wear layers on top, even in the summer. Which really sucks.

 

And I swear, I must be in the negative measurements. I'm starting to feel like I'm going no where with this (other than the weight gain thing).

[Hot Coco]

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Just because there was nothing wrong with you does not mean there isn't something wrong with the OP. Do you not get that?

 

If this girl has never had her irregular periods checked out, it needs to be done IN CASE it's something serious.

 

 

 

There are a lot of anorexics who are not able to make that sort of good judgement.

 

You really need to go back and read my post again. I told her that she might want to go to a doctor to make sure it's really not something else. Read the first paragraph again. You just repeated what I already said...sheesh!

 

Who said she was anoroxic? Did you know that not everyone who is underweight is anorexic? Yes, please read that again in case you missed it. I see NO evidence fronm what she said that she's anorexic. YOu really need to stop trying to diagnose people on line. You really do. Not a smart thing to do.

 

Are you really trying to help?

[Hot Coco]

I don't like wearing low cut tops (no cleavage) or almost any top in general. I don't like wearing tight shirts. What happens then, is I always wear layers on top, even in the summer. Which really sucks.

 

And I swear, I must be in the negative measurements. I'm starting to feel like I'm going no where with this (other than the weight gain thing).

 

Life, why do you say that you're starting to feel like you're going nowhere with this other than the weight gain thing? But the weight gain thing is a big deal as far as correcting what you see is a problem. But believe me there are bras out there for you. I think Playtex has a new line. It's called Nearly I think...as in Nearly A, Nearly B. Try that. Any store should have that.

 

As far as layers in the summer. You really don't need layers if you can find a really good padded bra.

[Outcast]

I didn't diagnose her as anorexic. I was making the point that not everyone has a good idea of what her weight ought to be. Sorry you didn't catch that.

[Hot Coco]

I didn't diagnose her as anorexic. I was making the point that not everyone has a good idea of what her weight ought to be. Sorry you didn't catch that.

 

I guess the OP didn't "catch that" either. It certainly DID look like you were implying that SHE had a problem with anorexia. How is this helping?

[Outcast]

Well I didn't so drop it.

[lifeasiknowit]

I am so going to buy bras now. Geez, I honestly never knew that there were bras out there that could fit me. God, how embarassing to be buying my first bra!

 

Oh, and Outcast, I know you're just trying to help

 

Hot coco, you have really helped out so far. I'm starting to see the light.

[Hot Coco]

Well I didn't so drop it.

 

Well yes, you did. But now you may consider it dropped.

[Outcast]

I am so going to buy bras now.

 

You GO, girl!

 

And really you will find guys who are crazy about your small ones. That's the great thing about a planet with 6 BILLION people on it - everybody's got different tastes and you'll be just exactly perfect for the right fellow so wear your gals proudly.

[Hot Coco]

I am so going to buy bras now. Geez, I honestly never knew that there were bras out there that could fit me. God, how embarassing to be buying my first bra!

 

Oh, and Outcast, I know you're just trying to help

 

Hot coco, you have really helped out so far. I'm starting to see the light.

 

Life, thank you. You won't regret going bra shopping. And believe me, you WILL find the right bra for you. You might have to try a few though. Try different brands. You won't believe the difference. Don't be embarassed!

[lifeasiknowit]

I'm totally bra illiterate, so out of curiousity, what is technically, the smallest size out there?

[Outcast]

That would be the trainer bra that parents buy for girls who are just beginning to develop. They don't actually have sizes as far as I recall.

 

Here's how you measure for bra size:

 

Measure the rib cage just below the breast. If the number is 33 or less, add 5 inches to that number and that is your bra size. Over 33 inches add 3 inches to get your bra size. Both ways, rounding odd numbers up to even.

 

Then take measure the bust around the fullest part. When you subtract the last number (fullest part) by the amount of your bra size, you'll come up with a number used to determine cup size by using the chart below (the A,B,C, etc. cup chart) For example if your bra size is 36 and your cup measurement is 38, the difference is 2" so you wear a 36B.

 

Use this chart:

 

AA = 1/2"

A = 1"

B = 2"

C = 3"

D = 4"

DD or E = 5"

F = 6"

G = 7"

[lifeasiknowit]

oh, great. I'm actually in the negative! yeah, this verifies that I'm a freak.

[Hot Coco]

You're not a freak! And I would go with the nearly A bra I was talking about. I think it's Playtex but I'm not sure. Like I said it's a new line of bras that are in between sizes. Try the nearly A.

[lifeasiknowit]

Ok. I went to the playtex website and tried to find out my exact size. I entered my measurements as instructed and all I got was:

 

no exact fit found.

 

I am even too small for their nearly A sizes. I saw photos and they look bigger than I thought they would be. My hope has just completely deflated.

[Hot Coco]

Life, you have to go to the store and try them on. Maybe you won't fill a Nearly A but the bra itself will fit you. They're adjustable. It will give a shape to your tops so it doesn't matter if you don't exactly fill them out. They kind of stand on their own, so to speak. Does that make sense. Not sure I'm explaining it clearly. But you really have to go to the store and just try. I KNOW you'll find some bras that will fit and they will give you a cute shape when you wear whatever tops you want. Try it. Hope you let us know how it works out.