Hot Coco Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 My MM lived for a while in NC. He was out there for a while (spooky as we're both in NC now lol).... He lived here in the US in NC? What a coincidence. He should move back so he can REALLY be in NC! Link to post Share on other sites
OldEurope Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 If a MM does not tell his wife within 3 months of the "affair", I assure you he does not and will not see a future with the OW. It is only when the OW is the bolt-outta-the-blue improvement and profound love of his life that these things ever work. And "that"--that new skin, that scent of change-- becomes visible, palatable to the domestic situation with his wife. Of course the wife senses something is up, though she may choose to ignore it. It is only fair and gentlemanly--as such situations can claim--that the MM make things clear to the wife. He should also be honest about the A out of respect to the OW, if she occupies the place in his thoughts and respect that truly makes a difference. What then follows, he, she and everyone involved just then must accept. PS Thanks LadyJ for earlier comment Link to post Share on other sites
Author Malifecent Posted October 31, 2005 Author Share Posted October 31, 2005 If a MM does not tell his wife within 3 months of the "affair", I assure you he does not and will not see a future with the OW. Three months sounds like probably enough for me....maybe four. I've been doing it for 2, I can do it for 2 more then it's time to get on with my life. But where does the three month mark comes from? Is this sort of thing researched? Link to post Share on other sites
MustB1 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 How do you know he isn't sleeping with his wife? Have you got a camera in their house? If he was separated, he would be able to come HOME and tell his wife he was seeing someone. YOU are wasting your "love" on a married man. If he is separated have you asked to see the separation papers? Now, think about his lying to other people about "seeing" someone, if he lies he is a liar, and will/has lied to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Malifecent Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 Technically I don't know that he is not sleeping with her. But I am as close as I could damn get without being a fly on the wall. I have secret sorces being that his best friend is my best friends husband. Haha hows that? I am drunk and i sound pathetic hows that? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 Just wondering how you're doing Malifecent? Actually, I'd been thinking about this thread while I've been away and I thought I'd add this: I've been living with MY ex boyfriend for the past 4 years. The first thing everyone says is... AH and are you sleeping with him??? And (unbelievably, it seems, for most people to accept) no, I'm not sleeping with him. We didn't sleep together more than a few times in the whole last year of our relationship, so why should I suddenly start now? I've had relationships with two other people since I broke up with ex boyfriend. And he's in a relationship with someone else himself (LDR) and it's early days so no 'living together' with her is on the cards as yet. So... I think what I'm trying to say is, that people can live together sometimes and it's just because it's convenient, they have a great (friends) relationship, and so on. Of course, all this is totally out in the open! BUT... initially there's quite a bit of worry when you start dating someone new, and even inviting them back to the house to meet the ex - because it is a sensitive thing, even though to all intents and purposes we've both 'moved on', we still care a lot about the other person and don't want to shove something in their faces. Yeah I know... I need to move out at some point Link to post Share on other sites
mslovely97 Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 the reason why I said I can't say is because I am going through what you are going through. I feel like that I have a chance and there are other times when I think I don't have a chance. but who is to say what life will bring you. I can honestly say that I love him. I know its wrong but I do love him a lot. I sometimes feel that I should be with him and we belong together. But we are not. I tell him I lovehim, but I think he thinks I'm just playing. Whenever I kiss him I feel like he knows just how deep my love goes for him. So do I think you have a chance? yes, but be prepared for disappointments. Because just when you think things will be ok, they some how turn out to go in a different way. I mean people always say how can they fall in love with a married man or a married women. To me its easy. I have never had sex with the man I love,so its not based on sex. To me I feel in love with his personality and now I love him as a whole. I think you can't help who you fall in love with, but you can help who you fall in lust with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Malifecent Posted November 21, 2005 Author Share Posted November 21, 2005 Hey Sami D, I am doing alright. As time goes on I am finding my self less and less tolerant toward this whole situation. I get angry at myself sometimes for thinking of all the BS I've put up with, I never thought I would tolerate that from anyone. I love him to death but the sad truth is that if he wanted to be with me, he would be. He said that after Christmas things are going to change(he has a small child)but I am not holding my breath. In fact when the New Year comes and I don't see any progress I am going into NC as a New Years resolution to get on with my life. If it comes to that it will be devastating, but I'll live. Either way theres gonna be change....thanks for asking, and sorry it took so long to reply! Link to post Share on other sites
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