Marriage

[hoover]

For the first three years of our relationship, I wanted to get married and he did not. A choice needed to be made. Could I come to terms with being in a committed relationship without marriage? I did, and now feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders. A year later, I no longer need or desire to get married. My relationship is great. So great in fact that I recently purchased a home jointly with him. Now he wants to get married, and feels I am being unfair. The marriage would mean very little to me because we already live a fully committed life. Can one wait too long to get married? Any suggestions on how to come to compromise?

[Tony T]

The two of you are already married so it won't hurt you to go through a little formal ceremony for the benefit of the world.

 

You may not be being unfair about your position, but you are being unloving and selfish towards someone you allegedly love.

 

Marriage does not take place at a justice of the peace's office, before a notary public, or in a church. Rather, marriage is the joining of the souls of two people which can take place at any moment and is not planned. Marriage is a feeling, a unity, an inexplicable and miraculous bond between two people...not a ceremony, a piece of paper and a picture album.

 

It's no sweat off your back to go through a ceremony for someone you love. As a matter of fact, if you keep your cool the whole thing is pretty easy to plan and can be done so economically. You don't have to spend a lot of money and you can serve hot dogs and Coke at a small reception of your friends afterwards. You can even have the ceremony in the back yard of the home you purchased together.

 

So, ready or not...you are already married if you indeed feel you are joined in your heart and soul with your mate. If that's the case, I'm sure there is nothing you wouldn't do for this person, including walking down the aisle, saying "I do", and telling him to take out the garbage.

[Victoria]

I would be honored to know that my boyfriend of several years is finally ready to marry me. My boyfriend is not ready for marriage, hopefully I will reach the point you have and be content without a ring. You are very fortunate! Cherish him, love him, and walk down the aisle to say "I do" !

The two of you are already married so it won't hurt you to go through a little formal ceremony for the benefit of the world. You may not be being unfair about your position, but you are being unloving and selfish towards someone you allegedly love. Marriage does not take place at a justice of the peace's office, before a notary public, or in a church. Rather, marriage is the joining of the souls of two people which can take place at any moment and is not planned. Marriage is a feeling, a unity, an inexplicable and miraculous bond between two people...not a ceremony, a piece of paper and a picture album. It's no sweat off your back to go through a ceremony for someone you love. As a matter of fact, if you keep your cool the whole thing is pretty easy to plan and can be done so economically. You don't have to spend a lot of money and you can serve hot dogs and Coke at a small reception of your friends afterwards. You can even have the ceremony in the back yard of the home you purchased together. So, ready or not...you are already married if you indeed feel you are joined in your heart and soul with your mate. If that's the case, I'm sure there is nothing you wouldn't do for this person, including walking down the aisle, saying "I do", and telling him to take out the garbage.

[cinsi]

I dunno...After living with my b/f for a while now I wonder if we should get married. We have known each other 11yrs and been dating 3yrs...we are best friends. But the thought of getting married is scary.

 

I just think of all the people who are together for 15, 20, 30 plus years and then decide its time to split. That whole process is somewhat easier if there is no legal obligation....also, everyone who is married says that something does change. and to me it seems that most people are not happy with the change. To me it seems like a gamble, and if you are happy with the current situation, why risk it changing for the worse? Perhaps to start a family?

 

We live in a day and age where it is not a requirement or mecessity to be married. I beleive there are some advocate groups of unmarried couples, although I dont know any names of them...hmmm perhaps it would be an interesting search topic.

I would be honored to know that my boyfriend of several years is finally ready to marry me. My boyfriend is not ready for marriage, hopefully I will reach the point you have and be content without a ring. You are very fortunate! Cherish him, love him, and walk down the aisle to say "I do" !