women with children...

[liquid dream]

Well I just met a woman that I might be intrested in having a relationship with. She was giving me all the signs that she was intrested in me. But there is one thing that is really making me uncomfortable. That is, she has a 4 month old son. Now I don't have kids, and I know very little about being a "father figure". But I do love them and would do anything to make them laugh or smile. I've gone so far as sticking a carrot up my nose. Yeah, I said it...lol... Her having a kid, doesn't bother me. But being a man and being apart of the kid's life is something that I'm really thinking about. I mean I'm not rushing into a relationship right off the bat. But I guess you can say I'm just thinking about how it would be with her, the little guy, and I further down the road. And I'm worried that if I do become a father figure to this kid...I'm worried about what kind of job I'm going to be able to pull off. I mean I have the up most respect for single moms. That's how I was raised and I never really had a father figure. It's just, she's almost the exact same age as me, we love doing the same things, and when we talk to each other, I seem to finish her sentances and same vice versa. But I love kids, and just because she has one, doesn't turn me off at all. But I guess I'm just thinking ahead. I mean for all I know, we just met, and I probably shouldn't even be worried about it right now. But I just can't help but to wonder. Know what I mean? Has anyone else thought about things like that? Because I've never been with a woman with kids before.

[Miss Mojo]

hiya mr dreams!

 

well, the first thing that popped into my mind when you said you've found someone you're interested in having a relationship with is, "slow down a bit....you've just come out of one". i know you understand this too, but i think the best thing when you find yourself suddenly single again, is to keep your options open....meet lots of people and take the time to figure out what it is you really are looking for at this point in time.

 

i've been single for about 8 months now, and i'm quite happy to remain that way. i know i won't be single when mr bloody-brilliant-this-guy-is-sooooo-awesome grabs my attention...but hey, that's only me, and what works for me doesn't work for everyone else.

 

but i will say something....i'm really enjoying having a good perve and meeting people, and i know that there's no chance of me rushing into anything.

 

now....as for the single mother thing....i feel that your best option would be to form a friendship with her first. i have a few friends who are single mothers, and they are in no way looking for a father figure for their child. they are looking for a relationship, which means that person they are interested in has to accept their child in order for a relationship to develop. fair enough. maybe if you develop a friendship first you will be better equipped to decide if you feel comfortable dating a woman with a child or not.

 

whether or not it is an issue for you, will be entirely your own doing. don't let other people's opinions of single mothers affect that decision, because i'm sure you agree, it's hardly fair to put "single mothers" in a little stereotyped box....i actually know many great chicks who are single mothers, many guys who like them, and others who would prefer to not be in that situation. it's entirely personal, and something that can only be decided on with a bit of time and experience. i too was raised by a single mother, and she is one of the strongest ladies i know.

 

good luck!!!

[liquid dreams]

Wow...let me tell you how much I was thinking the same thing. I just wanted to get a second opinion on it I guess or just see if anyone looked at it like I do. But I mean wow...it was like you were reading my mind. Actually though, where you and I differ is the fact that you enjoy being single, but I really can't stand it. I hate sleeping alone at night and I love to have a woman to snuggle up on the couch with and watch a movie. I crave these things. And when I'm not with a woman I feel like something's missing. You know? Have you ever felt that?? Is that normal for a person???

hiya mr dreams! well, the first thing that popped into my mind when you said you've found someone you're interested in having a relationship with is, "slow down a bit....you've just come out of one". i know you understand this too, but i think the best thing when you find yourself suddenly single again, is to keep your options open....meet lots of people and take the time to figure out what it is you really are looking for at this point in time. i've been single for about 8 months now, and i'm quite happy to remain that way. i know i won't be single when mr bloody-brilliant-this-guy-is-sooooo-awesome grabs my attention...but hey, that's only me, and what works for me doesn't work for everyone else. but i will say something....i'm really enjoying having a good perve and meeting people, and i know that there's no chance of me rushing into anything. now....as for the single mother thing....i feel that your best option would be to form a friendship with her first. i have a few friends who are single mothers, and they are in no way looking for a father figure for their child. they are looking for a relationship, which means that person they are interested in has to accept their child in order for a relationship to develop. fair enough. maybe if you develop a friendship first you will be better equipped to decide if you feel comfortable dating a woman with a child or not. whether or not it is an issue for you, will be entirely your own doing. don't let other people's opinions of single mothers affect that decision, because i'm sure you agree, it's hardly fair to put "single mothers" in a little stereotyped box....i actually know many great chicks who are single mothers, many guys who like them, and others who would prefer to not be in that situation. it's entirely personal, and something that can only be decided on with a bit of time and experience. i too was raised by a single mother, and she is one of the strongest ladies i know. good luck!!!

[Miss Mojo]

i absolutely *lurrrrve* having a guy to snuggle up to and i love the companionship you get from a guy that you can't get from anyone else...i don't mean sex, i mean the bond that you can share in a relationship that allows you to be a complete goose and they love it....the bond that allows you to be able to tell them anything....the bond where you can sit there for an hour and not say a word and you're mega comfortable doing that.

 

i think the point where you feel the lonliest is when you have just come out of a relationship. i felt so lonely when my ex and i split up, and i missed him terribly because we were like best friends and very, very affectionate towards each other. i really valued him as a person, and when he wasn't there anymore, it was as though there was a huge void in my life. but i just wasn't used to not having him there, because he'd become such a part of my life and then he wasn't anymore. it was extremely hard for me, that's for sure....but then again, i'm where i'm at now and feeling good, probably because i'm now used to feeling good by myself.

 

BUT....i'm enjoying being single right now because i know how great it is when you meet that awesome person that you can feel totally great around, and i'm not going to settle for second best. when i want a cuddle, i call upon my little cousins (1 and 7 yrs), and i know that it's genuine for both of us and so comforting....and late at night, i'm really loving being able to sprawl across the bed and not having to worry about kicking anyone.

 

honestly, while being single can be very lonely at times, it's also very empowering. i feel that true happiness will be found if you don't rush things and get in touch with yourself first. you'll meet a really great person when you least expect it, and it will be worth it.