Girls, if a better guy comes along, youll pursue him regardless of your bf wont you?

[monkey00]

I know a good majority of girls (and probably guys too) would pursue the better guy if he came along (or let him persue her).

 

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

I want you to be honest, is this what (maybe including you too) most girls do?

[stjärna]

this is a tough one . . . it really depends on the boyfriend . . .

the quick answer is yes, I would, though i'm trying to only enter realationships if i think the guy's a keeper. honestly, i would get to know the new guy first as a friend to see if hurting the other guy is worth it. is that cold?

[lindya]

Last relationship I was in, I got a fair number of offers from guys who were, on paper (and, as it goes, probably in every other way too) "better catches" than my then boyfriend. I loved him so I wouldn't have considered dumping him for anyone. When the boot was on the other foot and someone pursued him, he decided not to return the favour.

 

Given that lesson learned, in future I would tend to follow my head and go with the better catch. That wouldn't necessarily the one with better looks, more money etc, but rather the one who was just a better bet in terms of loyalty, character and the amount of affection he had for me.

[loony]

I know a good majority of girls (and probably guys too) would pursue the better guy if he came along (or let him persue her).

 

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

I want you to be honest, is this what (maybe including you too) most girls do?

Of course, women are cruel opportunists and they will dump your sorry butt when you're not perfect. Men on the other hand are epitomes of loyalty, kindness, generosity, fidelty, etc. Oh, yeah!

 

What's going on with you that you are not ashamed to post such a question? Usually your posts displayed more maturity and common sense.

[slubberdegullion]

What's going on with you that you are not ashamed to post such a question?

I don't see a problem with the question. Isn't LS supposed to be a safe place where people can ask questions such as this and get other people's input?

 

But to the question itself: Would I pursue another woman if I perceive her as a better "catch"?

 

I've been fortunate in that whenever I'm involved in a relationship, when it ends I always give myself some time before starting an active pursuit of someone new.

 

So, the answer to your question, in short, is probably not. But it somewhat depends on the status of the current relationship too. If it's going nowhere or there are continual problematic issues, then I may. With that said, though, if it's going nowhere and there are unsolvable problems, I would not be with her for long anyway. It's all a matter of timing, I suppose.

[JS17]

Last relationship I was in, I got a fair number of offers from guys who were, on paper (and, as it goes, probably in every other way too) "better catches" than my then boyfriend. I loved him so I wouldn't have considered dumping him for anyone. When the boot was on the other foot and someone pursued him, he decided not to return the favour.

 

Given that lesson learned, in future I would tend to follow my head and go with the better catch. That wouldn't necessarily the one with better looks, more money etc, but rather the one who was just a better bet in terms of loyalty, character and the amount of affection he had for me.

 

DITTO!!!!!!!

[lindya]

DITTO!!!!!!!

 

I think we're soul twins, JS17 Either that, or we're the products of being in a relationship with a certain type of man.

 

f*** it, eh? Whatever we do, we're put in a box marked "all wrong". So be it, but after being on the receiving end of a bunch of s***ty treatment from one of these wonderful beings called "man", trying keep my chin up and avoid getting bitter about guys, I'm really tired of reading endless blokey comments about how women play games, have no loyalty and are always on the look-out for a "better catch".

 

I don't recognise myself in that at all, and I'm sick of reading a board that seems to endlessly tag women with that label. PM me if you need to chat, hon - but I'm done with this board.

[loony]

I don't see a problem with the question. Isn't LS supposed to be a safe place where people can ask questions such as this and get other people's input?

My question was not asked in all seriousness, but he said "a good majority of girls (and probably guys too)", alluding that this is something gender specific. Ego boosts? - Both sexes want it. Making the best pick for yourself? - Both sexes want it.

 

Everybody is selfish and turning it a gender specific problem is naive and unfairly demonizes one half of humankind.

[loony]

f*** it, eh? Whatever we do, we're put in a box marked "all wrong". So be it, but after being on the receiving end of a bunch of s***ty treatment from one of these wonderful beings called "man", trying keep my chin up and avoid getting bitter about guys, I'm really tired of reading endless blokey comments about how women play games, have no loyalty and are always on the look-out for a "better catch".

 

I don't recognise myself in that at all, and I'm sick of reading a board that seems to endlessly tag women with that label. PM me if you need to chat, hon - but I'm done with this board.

That's what I say all the time!

[JS17]

I think we're soul twins, JS17 Either that, or we're the products of being in a relationship with a certain type of man.

I know. I think being with one N will change your entire outlook on dating. I was really normal before him.

 

PM me if you need to chat, hon - but I'm done with this board.

I think I've said that at least half a dozen times. If you really don't come back, best of luck, you deserve it lindya.

[d'Arthez]

I know a good majority of girls (and probably guys too) would pursue the better guy if he came along (or let him persue her).

 

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

No. I have never settled for a relationship. Never intend to do so - and I am quite strict in matters like that. If I somehow became dissatisfied with the relationship, I would either address the issues, or in the case of irreconcilable differences, break up.

 

Meeting a better catch, and then break up with the current SO to pursue someone else does not have much appeal to me. I also would not give my new SO then a justification to break up in a whimsical fashion - which often seems to be the case in instances like that.

[scobro]

I've been fortunate in that whenever I'm involved in a relationship, when it ends I always give myself some time before starting an active pursuit of someone new

.

 

Thats what everyone should do.I have to do this it's just in my nature.I couldn't imagine a rebound.

[glittergurl]

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

That's the most f?cked up thing I've read in a while. We're not talking about Tshirts here, we're talking about human beings with feelings. If you don't like the relationship you're in, either try to work it out or end it. Only THEN you're free to look for someone else.

[seachange]

I want you to be honest, is this what (maybe including you too) most girls do?

 

No. Boy, please.

[Outcast]

I don't recognise myself in that at all, and I'm sick of reading a board that seems to endlessly tag women with that label. PM me if you need to chat, hon - but I'm done with this board

 

Why not send your remarks to the mods? This board certainly has unfortunately become home to too many smartass 'bad boy' misogynists. Fortunately it does have a fairly goodly proportion of D'Arthezes and Curts and Craigs which, IMHO, mitigates the effect of the rest. I agree that this 'women are shyt' theme is getting very VERY old.

[slubberdegullion]

Fortunately it does have a fairly goodly proportion of D'Arthezes and Curts and Craigs which, IMHO, mitigates the effect of the rest.

awww, shyte, she left me out

[Mz. Pixie]

Oh Good God, here we go again!

 

Yeah, we do that all the time. We're a bunch of cruel, heartless bitches who are only out for ourselves. :rolleyes:

 

Just because you got your heart broke by some girl, you think that gives you the right to bad mouth the whole entire female gender???

 

Perhaps you didn't treat her like you should, or she just wasn't that into you?? Could be lots of reasons.

 

Damn, men like you piss me off. My husband was extremely hurt in his past and he never acted like some of you do.

 

Why not just make it all about you and not about her?? That might give you the answer to what the real issues are.

[Craig]

I know a good majority of girls (and probably guys too) would pursue the better guy if he came along (or let him persue her).

 

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

I want you to be honest, is this what (maybe including you too) most girls do?

Ok the question was directed at women, I think, but I'll answer for myself.

 

No, I would not pursue, nor would I invite the pursuit of another "better" woman if I were in a relationship. If I just got out of a relationship I would not be available for another relationship until I had healed sufficiently to be responsible for myself and responsible to her.

 

I have been approached by other women while I was in a relationship, did not act upon their advances and actively informed them that there was no hope. One of my favorite lines is "I would never date a woman that would date a married man." That seems to shut them down fast enough. One woman had the gall to ask "well what if the perfect woman came along" (meaning her) bleah, yeah right.

 

One can never know what a person is really like until the relationship gets deeper and more serious. Thinking that another person might be better than the one I am with is just a recipe for bitterness acquired in a perverted pursuit of love and happiness.

 

If someone would leave me for someone else I would be glad for it because by doing so they have shown me that they were not worthy of my love, affection and respect.

[scratch]

I know a good majority of girls (and probably guys too) would pursue the better guy if he came along (or let him persue her).

 

Although you may be in a relationship wiht someone else. You're probably just settling with him until something better comes along; true is it not? Or perhaps use the new guy too feed your ego..?

 

I want you to be honest, is this what (maybe including you too) most girls do?

 

As a guy, I would ABSOULTELY dump my girlfriend if a better girl came along. I would also expect to be dumped if by a girl if a better guy came along. Pay attention to how Lindya defined "better." It referred to someone who could make her happier in the long run.

 

Your post seems to look down on such behavior. But, why would you want someone to stay with you if they feel they'd be happier with someone else?

 

If you're getting dumped for better guys (or girls), take it upon yourself to make yourself a better guy (or girl) instead of frowning upon your (wo)man for not displaying baseless and arbitrary loyalty.

[loony]

As a guy, I would ABSOULTELY dump my girlfriend if a better girl came along. I would also expect to be dumped if by a girl if a better guy came along. Pay attention to how Lindya defined "better." It referred to someone who could make her happier in the long run.

 

Your post seems to look down on such behavior. But, why would you want someone to stay with you if they feel they'd be happier with someone else?

 

If you're getting dumped for better guys (or girls), take it upon yourself to make yourself a better guy (or girl) instead of frowning upon your (wo)man for not displaying baseless and arbitrary loyalty.

And what about my boyfriend's affection for me?? Maybe I just need a little bit time and affection and someone who believes in me to be this better person? And who says the new person is really better? And how do you know you're really compatible with the new person? And why the hell are you with your girlfriend if you truly believe you can do better? Only cowards start or stay in relationships that don't satisfy them.

[scratch]

And what about my boyfriend's affection for me?

 

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by this question. If you don't feel enough affection for him to decide you don't want to be with another man, his level of affection for you isn't enough to make the relationship continue. You imply this with your final sentence below.

 

Maybe I just need a little bit time and affection and someone who believes in me to be this better person. And who says the new person is really better? And how do you know you're really compatible with the new person?

 

You're missing the premise. If you're in a relationship that you're greatly enjoying, and can expect to continue that enjoyment well into the future, it is nearly impossible to meet someone who is actually better. PM me if you want a dissertation on barriers to exit and entry in this scenario.

 

Folks, bear in mind that the original question didn't ask about cheating, or leaving your SO for someone richer, hotter, or more exciting. It's about leaving them for someone better.

 

And why the hell are you with your girlfriend if you truly believe you can do better?

 

You don't have to believe you can do better in order to meet someone during the course of your relationship who you feel would be better for you.

 

Only cowards start or stay in relationships that don't satisfy them.

 

I couldn't agree more. That is the key basis of my position on the issue.

[monkey00]

Only cowards start or stay in relationships that don't satisfy them.

 

Call them cowards if you will. But i believe most people down the line choose to settle for someone. There is no perfect man or woman by nature. Even fantasies appear to blur into our expectations of reality.

 

What's going on with you that you are not ashamed to post such a question? Usually your posts displayed more maturity and common sense.

 

 

No i am not ashamed. This is merely a statistics poll to inquire and measure the polygamist nature of human beings...limited ot this board of course!

In addition this is a topic open for discussion; needs of human relationships.

 

But by all means i did not intend to offend any sex, and therefore i apologize.

Nor did i imply that it was a bad thing or women are worse than guys because of this...I did include guys in my post too! But i just wanted a women's viewpoint on this topic.

 

And to offer my own insight into this topic of discussion i will give my statement. Another reason why i posted this was because i was curious.

 

Anyhway, If i had a gf, and a better prospect came along i would probably go for it. But there are exceptions. It would depend on our relationship, how strong it is and if im happy in it. Of course any unhappy relationships are usually bound to be doomed. So why lie to ourselves to stay with someone whom we are not content with? It would not hurt to explore other prospects, its only human nature.

 

On the other hand if a girl left me for someone who she thinks is better. Then she probalby had good reasons. Reasons that would justify me to change for the better, of what i lacked thereof. If there was something of me that i wasnt fulfilling in the relationship, then its my fault.

Every person has different needs, so it only makes sense.

[basscatcher]

If I felt the need to persue another relationship with another man then I know its time to move on.

I won't juggle more then one man in my life anymore If I find that I am being pulled toward a different guy other then the one I am involved with then I better take a look at how happy I am in my current relationship.

 

Frankly, If I don't find contentment being involved with a guy I sure as hell dont hold on and string the poor baby along.. Its not fair and I wouldn't want it done to me. I would cut the relationship first then date the other guy.

 

Just this weekend when I was out with my sweetie I got a phone call from a dude that has tried to make me his FWB gal and I won't do it. I havent heard from him in two months.

He is great looking, is a excellent dancer (dance instructor) but aside from that he is a puke. Good looking on the outside, ugly on the inside. He calls me and says: "What are you girls doing tonight, wanna come over and party?" I said, "I'm seeing someone, your outta luck dude!" and I hung up. He calls when he is looking for a booty call. I just don't like that. I could have just ignored his call and called him back later when I wasn't busy with Mr. Landscaper but I just don't want to do that. I blew the guy off like he blew me off 2 months ago...

 

I believe as you mature you don't need to play with multiple people and you will know what you want and you wont settle for just having someone in your life and the atttention. You will search for someone who compliments your life and enhances it.

[tanbark813]

Who cares? If she thinks someone is better than you then why would you waste your time on her anyway?

[loony]

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by this question. If you don't feel enough affection for him to decide you don't want to be with another man, his level of affection for you isn't enough to make the relationship continue. You imply this with your final sentence below.

I was talking from the point of view of someone who is afraid of getting dumped... What I meant to say is, how can he simply throw away the affection he felt for me for the rush of a moment? For the simple belief that there might be someone better out there?

 

You're missing the premise. If you're in a relationship that you're greatly enjoying, and can expect to continue that enjoyment well into the future, it is nearly impossible to meet someone who is actually better. PM me if you want a dissertation on barriers to exit and entry in this scenario.

 

Folks, bear in mind that the original question didn't ask about cheating, or leaving your SO for someone richer, hotter, or more exciting. It's about leaving them for someone better.

I assumed that the relationship was going well and that someone better only implies a person with a higher desirability factor, not greater compatibility or that maybe the girl was suffering from the grass-is-greener syndrome.

 

And now way I will send you a PM, my delicate feelings still suffer from our last encounter.

 

You don't have to believe you can do better in order to meet someone during the course of your relationship who you feel would be better for you.

Then why are you in this relationship at all if it doesn't feel so good?