ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2023 Share Posted July 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Runninggirl said: Its not just a choice to let go, But this was a choice: 7 hours ago, Runninggirl said: I make a quick search and find out she moved into his apartment this week Why did you make that chocie? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 10, 2023 Share Posted July 10, 2023 6 hours ago, glows said: When you’re running do you let a whiff of a hot dog stand on the side of the road derail you? Ha! That is totally me!! 🤣🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 10, 2023 Share Posted July 10, 2023 3 hours ago, Runninggirl said: But its a process, I wish it was so easy, but unfortunately Im not a robot. Correct. And a non-linear process at that. Ups and downs all the way! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Runninggirl Posted July 10, 2023 Author Share Posted July 10, 2023 2 hours ago, Alpacalia said: He sounds like a goodie. I experienced this with someone that was patient with me for our first date. I ended up liking him more. It sounds like you're feeling much more confident and open to exploring relationships now. It sounds like you're taking the right approach to dating, and that there is potential for it to turn into something more down the road at your own pace. Best of luck on your date! Thanks! He even keeps calling me just to hear about my day and such, making plans, and seems genuinely interested in my life and my thoughts on things. Which is really nice Also keeps my mind busy! My three week holiday Im thinking about going to Greece or Italy by myself! Just now, mtnbiker3000 said: Correct. And a non-linear process at that. Ups and downs all the way! Exactly! So in general I feel like much has improved, but sometimes its down, and that's probably when I mostly update here of course. When things are going good Im not really posting. So I know it seems like its not improving at all, but it is. But its no linear. 2 hours ago, mark clemson said: Just ignore his requests. It seems he wants to continue "living rent free in your head" for purposes that probably have little to do with anything that's a positive for you. Don't let his breadcrumbing trigger worries or "detective mode" thinking for you, just ignore them. It's easier said than done sometimes perhaps, but simply continue to resolve to move on. I ignored his requests. Im guessing its just to get some attention, check if Im still available as a back up plan or something. 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: But this was a choice: Why did you make that chocie? Because it seemed she had moved in and I wanted to know, because I was in shock of it. I wish they would have moved to her place instead much further away, but he owns his. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 15 hours ago, Runninggirl said: I didnt search them up The below statement says you did. 21 hours ago, Runninggirl said: I make a quick search and find out she moved into his apartment this week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 (edited) 11 hours ago, Runninggirl said: Im guessing its just to get some attention, check if Im still available as a back up plan or something. This is what you're hoping it is but I'm sorry, it isn't. You are still so hung up on this guy and you will never move on if you see them occasionally. She's has moved in with him suggesting their relationship is serious and moving forward. Next they'll be getting married, how bad will you spiral then? Edited July 11, 2023 by JTSW Link to post Share on other sites
Author Runninggirl Posted July 11, 2023 Author Share Posted July 11, 2023 2 hours ago, JTSW said: The below statement says you did. I only checked after I saw it, I wasn't looking for it to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 4 minutes ago, Runninggirl said: I only checked after I saw it Why? It wasn't your business. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 14 hours ago, Runninggirl said: Thanks! He even keeps calling me just to hear about my day and such, making plans, and seems genuinely interested in my life and my thoughts on things. Which is really nice Also keeps my mind busy! My three week holiday Im thinking about going to Greece or Italy by myself! Nice! Sounds like you two have a good connection, and it's always a good thing to stay busy and engaged. Keep things light. Casual dating is fine as long as both know that it's casual. It doesn't have to entail not speaking to this new person, but it likely means slowing down the progression and being forthright with regards to the state of your feelings. Try to let go of those messy ex-thoughts and move forward with newfound strength and positivity. My best friend just visited Greece to visit family. Have you been before? Italy though. The food. A bowl of pasta and a nice glass of vino. Check ✅ Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 On 5/3/2023 at 7:23 AM, Runninggirl said: Good point, I will remove him. I unfollowed him on instagram a while back, but haven't blocked his number or snapchat before. My friends are not trying to make me move on, they dont know Ive heard from him, and if they ask I say I dont think about it. They're just in long term relationships and bored and expect me to fill their life with funny dating stories and do things I dont do (one night stands and random hook ups) for their sake. I think its selfish and uncalled for, and a bit rude. Ive told them numerous times I dont appreciate being told what to do like a little kid, and being told I should or have to do anything dating wise, but they all think they know better than me what's right for me. They think it would be healthy to hook up with some random guys for "experience". I did the dating around when I was younger, and I dont need to do that anymore. I want to meet someone in a natural way, have a connection and build something, not go around desperately searching, dating and hooking up. They can see that you haven't moved on from your crush even though you try to hide it from them by not telling them how he's still affecting you. What good are friends if you can't open up to them when you're having a problem? It's one thing to let heartbreak take its course and then move on, but your obsession with him has gone on for years and you need professional counseling at this point to get over this guy. You've agreed many times on your threads that you were going to block this guy from any contact to you, and here you admit you didn't block himy Why? You weren't even in a real relationship with him so by now you shouldn't care who moves in with him. Glad your therapy starts next month. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 22 hours ago, Runninggirl said: I wanted to know, because I was in shock of it You need to not do things like this. It sets you back too much. What's done is done, but please be more protective of your own emotional well-being in the future and avoid the temptation to pick the scab. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Runninggirl Posted July 12, 2023 Author Share Posted July 12, 2023 On 7/11/2023 at 1:13 PM, Alpacalia said: Nice! Sounds like you two have a good connection, and it's always a good thing to stay busy and engaged. Keep things light. Casual dating is fine as long as both know that it's casual. It doesn't have to entail not speaking to this new person, but it likely means slowing down the progression and being forthright with regards to the state of your feelings. Try to let go of those messy ex-thoughts and move forward with newfound strength and positivity. My best friend just visited Greece to visit family. Have you been before? Italy though. The food. A bowl of pasta and a nice glass of vino. Check ✅ Ive never been to Greece or Italy. Im not a big foodie, but I hope to meet some people that will take me on an adventure! Ive also stepped up the physical activity a lot. Today Ive already gone for a 10k run, and playing tennis later with a friend (although Im pretty beat after the run). Yesterday I went to the gym and played tennis. Tomorrow Im just going to the gym, and then friday is my date! Nervous, but mostly excited! The guy seemed to have planned a full day for us, which I was very surprised about. He asked me beforehand if I had any reservations about time or what to do, and I told him to surprise me. So he told me he would pick me up at 1pm, and gave me a packing list which included swimsuit, nice clothes for going to dinner in, and told me we had 3-4 things planned for the day. Slightly terrified that the date will be A LOT for å first date, but trying to be open to new things! On 7/11/2023 at 2:10 PM, stillafool said: They can see that you haven't moved on from your crush even though you try to hide it from them by not telling them how he's still affecting you. What good are friends if you can't open up to them when you're having a problem? It's one thing to let heartbreak take its course and then move on, but your obsession with him has gone on for years and you need professional counseling at this point to get over this guy. You've agreed many times on your threads that you were going to block this guy from any contact to you, and here you admit you didn't block himy Why? You weren't even in a real relationship with him so by now you shouldn't care who moves in with him. Glad your therapy starts next month. It was a real relationship, and then it became on and off. but nevertheless it was real. My friends have luckily stopped mentioning him, and the pushing to date has stopped. Neither I or them has mentioned my ex for months, which Im happy about. Happy about the therapy next month too! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 &Why haven't you blocked him like you said you were going to do? Your friends haven't mentioned him because you act like you're fine and over him. You are not but too insecure to share this with them for fear of being judged. You were just here a little over a month ago distraught over this guy and still refuse to block him, WHY? You said earlier in this thread that this summer has been difficult for you. You haven't mentioned that to your friends? You need a close friend who won't judge you but listens and supports you when you're vulnerable so you don't have to depend on strangers on a forum for support. Also wouldn't it be more fun and safer to ask a friend to come along with you on your 3 week trip to Europe? I hope you do because the chances of meeting people you can trust to show you around and introduce you to new restaurants is rare. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 14 hours ago, stillafool said: Why haven't you blocked him like you said you were going to do? I think she is still holding out hope. It explains why she still walks by to see him all the time and why she searched them up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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