married man

[jen944]

I have recently met a married man(while walking my dog in a park and he was walking his too), whose wife is dying from lung cancer. I feel just horrible about what she and he are going through, given the situation. However, if it was me, I'd want someone to talk and help me get thru it, not brush me off with a "have a nice life." We are not intimate at all. We spend time talking about our similar interest and the toll the cancer is taking on his wife and their marriage. Part of me says "run for your life," but the other says he crossed your path for a reason, and nothing in this world is coincedence(as far as my life experiences have shown). We do enjoy each other's company. And of course we are attracted to each other which makes it even worse.

 

Anyone been in this place? What's the best solution to a situation like this?

[Tony T]

I think it's real fine being his friend. But out of respect for his dying wife and your conscience, don't even think of doing any more than talking...no dates, no kissing, no dinners, etc.

 

You have caught him at an extremely vulnerable time. Right now, he'd probably talk to a tree if it would talk back. So don't consider this so special. And don't forget, once his wife passes away, he's got a lot of grief to go through for quite a while.

 

I can think of a million circumstances for drumming up high quality romance other than counselling a man with a dying wife. It's really nice of you to spend time talking to him but if you're looking for love, you're barking up the wrong tree here.

 

Let him know you're not interested in anything romantic with him, at least not for a good while...that includes at least a year after his wife passes.