28yol23man

[naderi]

I am considering ending dissolving my year and a 1/2 marriage with my husband but I really need some advice before going ahead.

 

This is the synopsis of my relationship: I met my husband 5 years ago. Our relationship started with a lot of strong emotions for each other as well as difficulty to let go of eahc other when it was appropiate. During the first two months of knowing each other, the only thing about his past that my actual husband disclose to me was havind feelings for his ex- girlfriend. I Decicided I didnt wanted to be in the midst of his feelings and I told him to work things out with his ex. A week after I told him I tought it will be best ofr us not to see each other anymore at least until he resolve his situation with his ex. He called and send me e-mails staing that he didnt want to mislead me and that he did want to be withhis ex anymore even thougth he still had feeling for her. We admited and started to realize that we were falling for each other and were unable to let go. After meeting each other families and establishing a much more serious relationship ( at least for me). THe subject about his ex was past long. I thought that he dad move on and fell in love with me while detaching himself emotionally from his ex, but that never happen. After a few months I found love letters that he wrote her as well as notes that she worte him. they were trying to work things out on a long distant basis. When I confronted him and her. He admited having difficulty detaching himself emotionally. And She off course was furious to find out that he was lying to her about his tru feelings for me. Anyways. I believe she went on with her life and suggested me to do the same. She told me he was emotionally unstabla and unable to learn baout what real love is. I tried and tried to move on. He called, he tried to seek for my help, love and understanding and I guess I went back to him. After a year of no other complications about his ex. I felt that the relationship was stronger and that at one point he was at least honest about his feelings at the beggining. WE move in together after that first year. then a month later I found out that he was cheating with other women. Even thought it shouldnt be so shocking to me It was very hard for me to believe that he was cheating after a year in wich he show so much love and dedication to me and to my family. After our first confrontation about the first affair I found out, he admitted to me that he was seeing this person and he admitedto her in my presence that He was sorry for any pain that he caused her, but that I was indeed the person he wanted to be with.

 

WEll my question is should this has been enough reason for me to walk away? What is it that makes women so weak to let go and walk away on the first signs of emotional abuse?

 

Anyways, He just didnt cheated with thi person but was cheating with at least 5 or more.

I know that you will probably think, How stupid could I be to stay after finding this out and marry this person?

It was obvious that He had a problem. He later admited that he had a serious problem. And I was able to move out and try to continue with my life with him. But on the other hand even thought he is probably never going to be able to complety cure his sickness. He is a wonderfull person inside he shows that he cares in many ways and I guess I decided to help him I am not sure in wich way cause I realize taht I cant help him no more Igot to help my self.

 

Continuing with the story, two years later after living together and after giving the realtionship many chances. He showed so much improvement I was able to let go of insecurities and as hard as it was everyday to deal with the ghost of the painfull we overcame a lot of negativity. We conceive a beautiful baby and we got married. OUr child is goig to be 1 year old. and it is the most precious thing that could have ever happen to both of us.

 

For thepast years his emotinal abus by cheating has turn me into a angry, unsecure and violent person. But only towards him. My pregnancy was very hard and our marriage has been a struggle. WE fight, we argue, we hit each other, constantly. WE fight for a lot of reasons and lately after a fight he will leave and not come home until the next day. I started suspecting that he resume his cheating because he will not call and then his excuse is always "I slept in the car"

WEll our last fight was this weekend and I question hus wearabouts with doubts. My doubts were confirm with an email sent to him from someone from his past. On this e-mail this person was curious to know what drove him to call her at 4:30 am and 11 am? and even thought it wasnt romantic or completely accusatory. I am certain that the fact that he called show his weakness and the fact that he omited it is my final reasurance that I need to end my marriage for the well being of my emotinal state and my baby.

 

I do have to say that I love him and I know that he love me too but love it is just not enough to work things out. Specially when they didnt have a godd start.

 

Please tell me what you think.