Your thoughts on this please?

[lovehim05]

I'm in a committed, loving relationship. We've been together over 3 years, own a house together and are not married. He considers me his "wife", just without the piece of paper. We've paid to have our wills drawn up and have even set up with our financial advisors for retirement. He was the driving force behind the wills and retirement set up. A woman from his high school (20 years ago) tracked him down via email. He tells me they never dated, but he stated in the past, well before this woman contacted him, that he wished he had taken her to his senior prom. She is just out of a bitter divorce and seems to be on the prowl for a new man. He tells me she found a art piece he had given her back in high school and that is what drove her to seek him out. He tells me snippets about her and some of the info from her emails to him. He also told me that he told her about me and how happy and lucky he feels to be with me. He has emailed her, along with a list of others in his email group photos of us together at events. He has made it crystal clear to this woman that he is in a healthy, happy, committed relationship. I trust my man completely. I wouldn't have committed and bought a house with him if I didn't. This woman, who I never met, I do not trust. He tells me that she will be in town for the holidays and wants to meet "us".

 

Obviously; I cannot outwardly act concerned or he'll think I don't trust him. Should I be concerned about this woman? They email each other just about every day.

 

If you're a guy approaching 40, please share with me your thoughts on this. Of course anyone else's thoughts are welcome too.

 

Thanks!

[whichwayisup]

Female here.

 

OK, I think he really needs to clarify with her that if she is looking for something more than just an old aquaintance friendship she should look elsewhere. He has to set up boundries now - Meaning she has to know that it's fluff conversation and he's not a part of her life. Their emails are too much considering how long ago they knew eachother and didn't keep intouch until recently.

 

Be honest with him and tell him how it makes you feel. If she is in the same city then maybe ALL of you go out together. It's a package deal...Again, so SHE knows the rules.

 

Ask him to show you the emails, so you know what they're talking about. If he has nothing to hide, then it should be OK for you to read them.

[glittergurl]

Tsss, I hate when these situations happen. I, myself, have been dealing with a woman from my husband's past too; and when I read posts like yours, man, do I feel like grabbing a gun and shoot all those unconsiderate, selfish women out there

 

Ahhemm, anyway; back to your man: He sounds very weak about this sh?t. Why not tell him you are not comfortable about this? You have every right to be. You do not have to meet her if you don't feel like it, and he should respect that. And by this, I do not meet it's okay for him to go meet her by himself. If I were you, I'd keep my eyes open. She sounds like a hazard to your relationship.