relentless pusuit of an ex

[jack]

Venting all my revenge fantasies into relentless, yet restrained pursuit of my ex. I was previously given advice to back off & let her make the next move after our break-up but I was unable to follow this advice. We went out seriously for over 2 years. I have probably alienated her further with phone calls & gifts but am unable to stop. Need a ladies viewpoint on how relentless, yet restrained pursuit is percieved. We're not talking stalking material here. I back off if I think she feels too pressured. Would you possibly be worn down if an ex just never gave up. Would you eventually think possibly you made a mistake in breaking up? I've made a couple of small mistakes but have been polite in letting her know how much she means to me. I don't plan on giving up, flowers on monthly anniversary, occasional phone calls, but would like input on anything else I can do (except stop), and feedback on how this feels to a lady.

 

Thanks

[Buckeyegal]

Revenge fantasies? Relentless yet restrained pursuit? I find these phrases rather disturbing. I beg to differ, but it sure sounds like stalking to me! You ask how women perceive relentless pursuit...I for one, perceive it as pathetic and scary, NEVER would I even entertain the thought of taking an ex back that acted in that manner. I don't know the circumstance of your break up, and I suppose it's ok to make one, maybe two phone calls to her expressing your desire to reconcile, but if she hasn't reciprocated those feelings, then let it go!! Move on!! Obsessing over this woman won't make her love you, love isn't something that can be forced upon anyone.

[jack]

Problem is Buckeyegal, she broke up with me because she thought I didn't love here because she wasn't getting attention & affection anymore. One or two phone calls only & she'll think she was right.

Revenge fantasies? Relentless yet restrained pursuit? I find these phrases rather disturbing. I beg to differ, but it sure sounds like stalking to me! You ask how women perceive relentless pursuit...I for one, perceive it as pathetic and scary, NEVER would I even entertain the thought of taking an ex back that acted in that manner. I don't know the circumstance of your break up, and I suppose it's ok to make one, maybe two phone calls to her expressing your desire to reconcile, but if she hasn't reciprocated those feelings, then let it go!! Move on!! Obsessing over this woman won't make her love you, love isn't something that can be forced upon anyone.

[David Gevert]

No, Jack, back off. You've had your chance and you screwed it up. BACK OFF.

Problem is Buckeyegal, she broke up with me because she thought I didn't love here because she wasn't getting attention & affection anymore. One or two phone calls only & she'll think she was right.

[sporty]

Sorry, but there is no bigger turnoff by being relentlessly pursued by someone you either do not want to be with or are not sure how you feel about them. The woman would end up becoming very irritated and contemptous of you. You need to leave off as you will get nowhere behaving like this. You sound like you are trying to force her into something with no care about what she wants or how uncomfortable this is making her feel. I know it is very very hard to stop this but you need to for both your sakes.

 

Venting all my revenge fantasies into relentless, yet restrained pursuit of my ex. I was previously given advice to back off & let her make the next move after our break-up but I was unable to follow this advice. We went out seriously for over 2 years. I have probably alienated her further with phone calls & gifts but am unable to stop. Need a ladies viewpoint on how relentless, yet restrained pursuit is percieved. We're not talking stalking material here. I back off if I think she feels too pressured. Would you possibly be worn down if an ex just never gave up. Would you eventually think possibly you made a mistake in breaking up? I've made a couple of small mistakes but have been polite in letting her know how much she means to me. I don't plan on giving up, flowers on monthly anniversary, occasional phone calls, but would like input on anything else I can do (except stop), and feedback on how this feels to a lady. Thanks

[WGirl]

My advice would be to leave her alone. Relentless pursuit is quite aggravating if you aren't interested in the person. If you have made attempts to win your girlfriend back and you haven't been successful, leave her alone. Relentless pursuit may even push her further away from you rather than closer to you. Stop calling her and such. If she is interested in calling you, she will. It sounds like you are on the verge of crossing the line into harrassment and stalking.

Venting all my revenge fantasies into relentless, yet restrained pursuit of my ex. I was previously given advice to back off & let her make the next move after our break-up but I was unable to follow this advice. We went out seriously for over 2 years. I have probably alienated her further with phone calls & gifts but am unable to stop. Need a ladies viewpoint on how relentless, yet restrained pursuit is percieved. We're not talking stalking material here. I back off if I think she feels too pressured. Would you possibly be worn down if an ex just never gave up. Would you eventually think possibly you made a mistake in breaking up? I've made a couple of small mistakes but have been polite in letting her know how much she means to me. I don't plan on giving up, flowers on monthly anniversary, occasional phone calls, but would like input on anything else I can do (except stop), and feedback on how this feels to a lady. Thanks

[jack]

Ok. I've read your expected responses to stop pursuing but please explain this to me. I sent yellow roses & a teddy bear to her home, last time it was red roses, with a note "Yellow roses for friendship. Teddy bear to keep you company July 1'st. Jack.", SHE CALLED. We talked. I gave her a ride to a friends house, we talked some more. This restrained, a better word, pursuit seems to be working. What I want is advice on how to subtly let her know I am thinking of her & want her back without seeming to pushy. I am doing occasional phone calls for idle chit chat & sending flowers (no red roses on monthy anniversary) but would like more suggestions on how to seem both serious in winning her back but not desperate. LADIES PLEASE what works on you?

My advice would be to leave her alone. Relentless pursuit is quite aggravating if you aren't interested in the person. If you have made attempts to win your girlfriend back and you haven't been successful, leave her alone. Relentless pursuit may even push her further away from you rather than closer to you. Stop calling her and such. If she is interested in calling you, she will. It sounds like you are on the verge of crossing the line into harrassment and stalking.

[Jaxx]

I agree, my gf ex after they broke up did the same thing. She gave him the cold shoulder everytime. He'd always bring up the pass and how they were good together. Not really. If she wants u back, she'll go to you. So just let her be and move on. Hanging on to the pass isn't healthy...find someone new, someone to love! Tell yourself she's the one that's missing out.

[GYRL]

You need to back off for a little while at least. It seems like you are pushing her too hard, and that could (and most likely will) give way to the opposite effect than what you are looking for. Give her some time to think about you and to miss you, and if it is meant to be, she will realize that she still wants to be with you. But if you are hanging around her all the time she is likely to get annoyed and fed up. Just give it some time, ok?