Met a girl online

[Akashsingh]

I met this girl online while playing a video game. Its a massive multi player game with participants worldwide. She lives in germany and I live in US. Its a war game with each side having multiple hundred participants. I met her as she was a group leader. She is outspoken, extroverted. We connected on viber etc. The start was normal. However I felt she underappreciated me. I sent her christmas greeting but she wouldnt respond. I gave her ideas on war strategy but she always said no to my ideas. A few days later she started saying yes and appreciating more my presence. To play games, I started flirting with other girls and couple of times teased her. A couple of weeks later we lost in the game , so I had an angry reaction for not getting enough support from other people. By this time, I felt she and I had established common trust. Someone forwarded by comments to her which she interpreted as lack of leadership. Then she kicked me out of this group. 

I went to other groups and asked to be taken back but she refused.  I started playing with other groups but she got jealous that other people accepted me and she starrted war with these groups one after other. She sent me direct 1:1 messages calling me troublemaker of the season and asking me to stop resisting their war effort. Due to negative comments I told her not to contact me. She didnt listen to that but kept contacting me at her convenience to tell me to do something but she did not engage in lengthy conversation. 

The wars were settled by faction leaders and just as I thought life was normal , there was another war between them and another faction. I was told by other faction not to interfere but because of history of kicking me out, I supported the other side even though they were rude. This hurt several of my close friends who still play with this womans faction.  I sent her a hi message to reconcile , which she ignored. 

I thought she ignores me or doesnt care where I am or what I do , but not true. she reached near me in the battlefield when I was sleeping and could have killed me but decided not to and leave some marks around me to know she was there. I sent her a message that she was cute not to kill me when she had chance to .  Again she ignored me. 

The thing I realized is that I have a crush on her despite negativity but her response is hot and cold. She wants to fight and play with me but at the same time she doesnt want to respond to messages. I have let my friends know that I think about her and they have acknowledged it and they are quite close to her but her behavior is hot and cold. 

 

How should I approach this situation? Should I just let her go? Is she waiting for an apology for criticizing her as a leader or what is she really upto. She doesnt flirt much with other guys. Usually responds to them negatively. I know she is single as we were connected on viber before she kicked me out and she sent christmas and new year celebration pics.

 

 

 

Edited January 23, 2023 by Akashsingh

[JTSW]

9 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

She doesnt flirt much with other guys.

She doesn't flirt with you either.

She point blank ignores you so there is your answer.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you seem to be confusing gaming with real life. 

She's there to play a game. That's it. She doesn't want a personal relationship with you so it's best that you stop trying. 

[Akashsingh]

9 hours ago, JTSW said:

She doesn't flirt with you either.

She point blank ignores you so there is your answer.

 

I would have believed you but it doesn't explain her starting wars with groups only where I am part of and sending me 1:1 messages not to cause trouble for them. I mean there's 100s of players if she wanted to play with them. 

Additionally she again came right next to me in the no war zone. While she doesn't respond to messages. She keeps taking actions that put her right next to me in the map.

[ExpatInItaly]

Again, this is a game. You are confusing game strategy for real-life relationships.  

You are reading too much into it and trying to make something where there's no indication she is interested in you. It might be time to unplug for a while and meet some ladies in your local area who you can develop real relationships with. 

Online things with someone you've never met and lives on the other side of the world are not viable, and generally prove to be a waste of energy. 

Edited January 24, 2023 by ExpatInItaly

[JTSW]

11 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

I would have believed you but it doesn't explain her starting wars with groups only where I am part of and sending me 1:1 messages not to cause trouble for them. I mean there's 100s of players if she wanted to play with them. 

Additionally she again came right next to me in the no war zone. While she doesn't respond to messages. She keeps taking actions that put her right next to me in the map.

This is gaming.

Not the real world, and certainly not romantic interest.

Wake up.

 

Edited January 24, 2023 by JTSW

[Akashsingh]

She replied to me. It seems she is mad at me. She said I spread lies about her to other groups and she will not forget I spoke bad about her in the game chat and hoped we don't  meet again. After that she moved from near me to another area of the map

Edited January 26, 2023 by Akashsingh

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Akashsingh said:

She replied to me. It seems she is mad at me. She said I spread lies about her to other groups and she will not forget I spoke bad about her in the game chat and hoped we don't  meet again.

Her reaction is understandable.   Don't bother her again

[JTSW]

10 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

She replied to me. It seems she is mad at me. She said I spread lies about her to other groups and she will not forget I spoke bad about her in the game chat and hoped we don't  meet again. After that she moved from near me to another area of the map

There you have it.

Put a block on her, if that's even possible in a game.