do all guys have a laid back attitude?

[angel eyes]

I'm just asking cause my guy tells me he has a very laid back attitude and that's why he brushes off any personal problem that he may have. for example, if someone hurts me i go to the extreme of never talking to that person cause i feel betrayed but he copes and tries to avoid the person but he can continue to be around that person if he has to.

 

He said that all guys are like that so i'm confused because how is he supposed to defend his girl in case someone hurts me? i'm not talking about violence just about how is a guy supposed to defend his girl if someone is being nasty to her?. where do you draw the line?

 

i guess my guy and i have a different way of handling personal problems with others but is it true that guys have a more relaxed way of seeing things and why?

[Tony T]

1. "He said that all guys are like that so i'm confused because how is he supposed to defend his girl in case someone hurts me?"

 

Guys are human and all humans are different. There are some guys who think very calmly and rationally and don't fly off the handle. They take each of life's situations and make a sane evaluation as to how they should react.

 

I am sure that if someone hurts you, your guy will react rationally and lawfully, depending on how you are hurt. But your guy understands that even the nicest, greatest of people sometimes make mistakes and hurt others. You can't just strike back at every person who makes a mistake.

 

2. "i'm not talking about violence just about how is a guy supposed to defend his girl if someone is being nasty to her?"

 

Guys don't exist to defend girls against someone who is being nasty to them. Girls need to learn to stand up for themselves. Almost every lady I know can be 1000 times nastier than a guy when she's offended. So my question would be, are you prepared to defend your guy if somebody is nasty to him??? Women are far more capable of handling themselves in these situations.

 

Don't look for a guy to get you out of jams. He can give you emotional support but you have to live your life and you have to deal with situations that confront you. Life is tough...so you gotta be tough as well.

 

3. "where do you draw the line?"

 

I don't understand this question. However, if someone is physically attacking you, your guy should definitely defend you. But if you are having a personal issue with someone, or even a verbal argument, it is not his duty to interfere. You have to fight your own battles.

 

There is no line to be drawn. Every situation must be rationally evaluated. Your guy understands that he can't just be wholesale getting out there and mixing himself up in your conflicts. That's NOT what boyfriends are for. There are professional mediators who are paid to get mixed up in people's personal issues.

 

I would hope that you would be the kind of clear thinking, sane woman who would not get involved in a lot of petty bunk.

 

4. "i guess my guy and i have a different way of handling personal problems with others but is it true that guys have a more relaxed way of seeing things and why?"

 

Some guys are more relaxed than others. There are some men who shoot others when they owe them money and won't pay while other men just forgive the debt. There are some mothers who drown their kids because they are depressed while others just go for a big cry and continue their motherly duties. Everybody handles things differently.

 

I like the cool, calm method. It impresses people. If you get out and stir up crap with irrational idiots, you will drain yourself of every bit of energy in your body. Your boyfriend is mature enough to see the futility in trying to change people who are nuts. There's no point to it. Just let them move on. It's much easier to avoid crazy people than it is to confront them. And confronting them only makes you look crazy too. Your boyfriend is very wise. I hope you catch up to him one day.

[liquid dream]

My best advise to you is, don't look at men as one thing. We are all individuals with our own different ways of dealing with things. All guys, just like all women are different. I know that different women want different things, same with men. I'm sure that he wouldn't let anyone harm you. If it happens, and he doesn't do anything to defend you, then maybe he's just a lover not a fighter. But usually I step in for my woman.

I'm just asking cause my guy tells me he has a very laid back attitude and that's why he brushes off any personal problem that he may have. for example, if someone hurts me i go to the extreme of never talking to that person cause i feel betrayed but he copes and tries to avoid the person but he can continue to be around that person if he has to. He said that all guys are like that so i'm confused because how is he supposed to defend his girl in case someone hurts me? i'm not talking about violence just about how is a guy supposed to defend his girl if someone is being nasty to her?. where do you draw the line? i guess my guy and i have a different way of handling personal problems with others but is it true that guys have a more relaxed way of seeing things and why?