NC: Are we really forgotten?

[J dub]

I am convinced you are actively seeking someone out there who will validate that your method of NC (which is no such thing because you ARE in contact) is the way to go.

 

If Lost In Chgo's posts about different types make you feel better, than fabulous. But I will never consider being a doormat as productive action.

[grace2005]

Actually my method was his method first. I just learned alot from dreamguy's and lost_in_chgo's posts. They should be therapists. Yes their versions are less restrictive forms of NC and more liberal minded.

[smile95]

I am convinced you are actively seeking someone out there who will validate that your method of NC (which is no such thing because you ARE in contact) is the way to go.

 

If Lost In Chgo's posts about different types make you feel better, than fabulous. But I will never consider being a doormat as productive action.

 

I agree 100%. Total NC is the only way....if you do half NC or patial NC or whatever....you are defeating the purpose! If you are doing NC you want to move on...if you do that partial stuff, you must not want to move on and want to be tormented! I ahve been there.....one day you will see......you will post that that method does no good.

[J dub]

I agree 100%. Total NC is the only way....if you do half NC or patial NC or whatever....you are defeating the purpose! If you are doing NC you want to move on...if you do that partial stuff, you must not want to move on and want to be tormented! I ahve been there.....one day you will see......you will post that that method does no good.

Beth has seen the light

[J dub]

Actually my method was his method first. I just learned alot from dreamguy's and lost_in_chgo's posts. They should be therapists. Yes their versions are less restrictive forms of NC and more liberal minded.

So those of us who support the full NC method are considered "conservative" in this sense? Give me a break; either youre doing it or youre not. Point blank.

[Stormy99]

JENNIFER:

 

Oh Girl, I wish I could just reach out and make that pain disappear for you.

 

You said you think he will have a "power trip" if you asked him to get back together. You also said he tortured you over that one time before, you seem to know him well, so I really, really believe you should NOT try to get back with him.

 

You have done without him for 5 months so is is possible you can use this as a "power trip" to make you stronger to not go back ? I really pray you can.

 

One thing though, dont think that just because we are in our 40s ( I am 42 )

that the pickings are slim. Yes, they are slimmer and they are slimmer for men too, but they are still there. Look at Dimmy Moore and her new 27 yr old hunk !!

 

I belive that is just some lie that SOME men want women to believe so that we will accept their BS and think we can not do better. You are right though, in our 40s, we just should not take the time to put up with BS.

 

Read John 14 "Let not your heart be troubled...." You are a Victor and I will pray you overcome and thrive.

 

Stormy99.

[georgiagirl76]

I haven't read the entire thread so forgive me if I am not really on subject. I thought the original question was whether or not the ex will forget about you based solely on NC. I don't think you should ever use NC to attempt to produce behavior of another person. It is just the thing to do for yourself. However, my ex and I have recently begun talking again and have hung out a couple of times. We are also going out tomorrow for his birthday- this will be our first "date" since the breakup. Anyway, he told me that he was really surprised when I cut off all forms of communication when we broke up. He asked for space so I gave it to him. He said he was expecting at least an im or so and that since he didn't have a clue what was going on in my life he began paying attention to my status message to see if I was online and possibly keep up with me. He eventually broke down and contacted me.

I suppose this doesn't really give you any advice.

 

If the man you are getting over disrespected you in any way or made you feel like less of a person that you are for a second- he is not worth it. NC or not it isn't worth it. I wish you the best. I have been gone from LS for a while and hope all of you are hanging in there.

[J dub]

Hi Georgia girl,

 

Actually I think the post above yours is misplaced, cuz I cant seem to figure out where it fits in with this thread...

 

Anyway, I agree that you should never do X to get someone else to do Y. It should be you doing stuff for you because you want to. And your story is a perfect example of what I am trying to point out to these guys...when you disappear, you create an element of mystery and suddenly you become interesting. Worked for you, worked for me...everyone should give it a try

 

Glad to hear youre getting a second shot.

[cynicalnlove]

Here's a good link about No Contact. Especially what it says in the first paragraph.

 

[COLOR=#800080]NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER[/COLOR]

 

 

I was reading through this site - and you know the funny thing is, I didn't even know i was dating a narcissises until i've read this. Interesting.

[JohnJohn]

I was reading through this site - and you know the funny thing is, I didn't even know i was dating a narcissises until i've read this. Interesting.

 

I didn't know about it until afterwards either. I knew something was wrong and that she was emotionally abusive, but I didn't put the label on it until after looking online. Glad it helped.