The Waiting Game - Need Advice

[blackendangel13]

Background - My ex and I were together 6 months. I had just gotten out of a really bad 1.5 year relationship and was pretty messed up about it. I had crazy expectations of what I wanted in the relationship and he had problems living up to them. I was very lonely at that time and had no friends or activities in my life and unintentionally expected him to fill that void. So we broke up in June, I did it because I wanted to be friend because we rushed into the relationship. I really broke up with him because I was screwed up in the head and wanted to take some time and figure **** out. And I did. I am doing really well for myself right now.

 

For the next month or two (after the break-up), there were a few booty calls and awkward telephone conversations. He helped me move and what not. It wasn't until 3 months ago that he stopped calling and I started to want him back.

 

We see each other out a lot since we have a lot of mutual friends. We would have our awkward conversation and then spend the rest of the night apart. I was hurting. When I'd see him talking to other girls I'd lose it. I was his first gf in 3+ years so he isn't much of a relationship person but he had really wanted to be with me. He has seen me talk to other guys and I can tell it bothers him the same way.

 

Well here is the really issue of the post. Last weekend we were in the same place. We had our awkward hello and I was pretty heartbroken about how we had become so I started to self-medicate a little. I was standing by myself not paying attention and he walked by and hit me in a playful way and kept walking. Long story short, I bought him a beer and we started talking. After a few, we both loosened up and had a great time. It felt like it used to in the beginning and there were no other people in the room but us.

 

Half way through the night, in the middle of his story he was telling me, I grabbed him and kissed him. It was quite a toe curling kiss too. After it was over, his jaw just hit the floor. He turned so red. All he could say was "Thanks". I was so embarrassed and started to apologize profusely. I couldn't even look at him. Then he grabbed me and kissed me back. Basically the rest of the night we made out. It felt good. I put his arm around me and he smiled like I haven't seen him smile in a long time. I told him I missed him and he said the same, which he is an emotional fortress so getting that much is almost the equivalent to the "L" word. So when we were leaving I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him to call me. He said he would, but he has said this before. We haven't kissed since the booty calls stopped though.

 

I am trying to dismiss it as just a kiss but am finding it hard. How long should I wait for a phone call before completely dismissing the whole thing? Its going on the fourth day. And no I can't call him. I made the move and left the ball in his court. If I call him he will see it as pressure. So thats out. Any adice?

[downcydeguy]

Maybe the alcohol played a roll with what happened that night. Sounds like he woke up the next morning and realized that you broke his heart once and he doesn't want to go through that again. Now on the other hand, maybe he woke up thinking that you only did what you did because YOU were drunk, and he doesn't believe that you were serious. If this is the case, you can call him.

 

Good luck.

[blackendangel13]

No one got their heart broken in the relationship. It just wasn't working. If anything, I was the sad one. It was a mutual break-up. I asked if he was happy and he said no. I said we should take a step back.

 

As far as the night goes, this is not the first time I have tried to get close to him, just the first time I succeeded. Many times I have tried to talk to him but we were both shaky and weird. He knows I still care about him, I have told him. He knows it wasn't the alcohol. Hell I'd have kissed him regardless. We were just having a good tme and I went for it. He was joking with me before the kiss about us "hooking up". I don't think he woke up regretting it. But maybe he just brushed it off as just a kiss. It just sucks because I was ok with it being just a kiss before... now it is hitting close to home.