My man wants to....

[FLgirl]

My boyfriend has been invited to a somewhat "wild" bachelor party. From what I gather, there will be strippers/dancers and what have you.

 

Now, I trust him extremely... but I dont know how comfortable I am saying "go look at half naked women and have fun while they throw themselves at you" to him. He told me if it made me feel akward he wouldn't go, but who I am to tell him that?

 

I honestly feel very uncomfortable about that, but I would feel wrong telling the man i love not to go do the guy thing with his guy friends for a bachelor party. Yet, all my friends are men, and I know what happens sometimes..and it irks me to think about it even more even though I trust him.

 

Do I just brush my insecurity aside and accept this as a normal thing and let him be??? Or do I tell him my true feelings regarding this and ask him to respect my feelings and not go?

 

Thanks

[clia]

My personal opinion is to send him off with your blessing. If you trust him, you have nothing to worry about. Giving your boyfriend orders and telling him what to do is not a good thing in a healthy relationship. And if he decides to cheat on you with some nasty stripper, you don't want to be with him anyway. (I'm doubting that will happen, but if it does, you'll save yourself a lot of trouble in the long run.) You can't have a good relationship without trust. Tell him to have a good time. (Within reason, of course.) If he respects you at all, he'll know where to draw the line.

[Tony T]

I think it's always important for members of a couple to tell each other how they feel.

 

Strippers and dancers don't throw themselves at anybody. They do dance provocatively and they may wiggle their butts in some guys' faces but that's about it. Most laws forbid customers to touch the ladies or vice versa.

 

I don't recall ever hearing of anyone attending such a bachelor party dating or marrying any of the strippers. I don't think you have much to worry about.

 

However, if you feel something terrible is going to happen you should express this and talk it out. I can certainly understand how you feel about this and you can tell him your feelings while also telling him he's quite free to go.

[marzipan75]

I've been through this before, let him do it. It may be a wild party but you need to trust him on this and you won't know you can until you do. Half naked women don't mean anything because he's coming home to you. If anything it will just turn him on and you'll have a better time in bed. Sorry to sound so crude there. Think of it this way: When you or he watches a movie and there's a sex scene you see the woman naked (usually) right? Well, it's not that different, Playboy does the same thing, it's entertainment and that's all it is. Besides, those girls do dance and stuff like that but that's where the limit is, they don't do anything else. Just trust him and you will see.

My boyfriend has been invited to a somewhat "wild" bachelor party. From what I gather, there will be strippers/dancers and what have you. Now, I trust him extremely... but I dont know how comfortable I am saying "go look at half naked women and have fun while they throw themselves at you" to him. He told me if it made me feel akward he wouldn't go, but who I am to tell him that? I honestly feel very uncomfortable about that, but I would feel wrong telling the man i love not to go do the guy thing with his guy friends for a bachelor party. Yet, all my friends are men, and I know what happens sometimes..and it irks me to think about it even more even though I trust him. Do I just brush my insecurity aside and accept this as a normal thing and let him be??? Or do I tell him my true feelings regarding this and ask him to respect my feelings and not go? Thanks

[Sheila]

My boyfriend has been invited to a somewhat "wild" bachelor party. From what I gather, there will be strippers/dancers and what have you. Now, I trust him extremely... but I dont know how comfortable I am saying "go look at half naked women and have fun while they throw themselves at you" to him. He told me if it made me feel akward he wouldn't go, but who I am to tell him that? I honestly feel very uncomfortable about that, but I would feel wrong telling the man i love not to go do the guy thing with his guy friends for a bachelor party. Yet, all my friends are men, and I know what happens sometimes..and it irks me to think about it even more even though I trust him. Do I just brush my insecurity aside and accept this as a normal thing and let him be??? Or do I tell him my true feelings regarding this and ask him to respect my feelings and not go? Thanks

I think that all of your responces are crazy!!!! If you have a problem with your boyfriend going to see strippers (as I do) then tell him so. Every relationship has its own rules. To me, when a man and a women make a commitment to each other,sex is a big part of that commitment. I would never ask one of my boyfriends friends to drop his drawers and show me his "goods", so why would I pay a stranger (stripper) to do the same The way I see it, We have committed not only our hearts, but also our bodies to each other. When people start crossing those "look, but dont touch" lines where nudity is concerned, we start to become comfortable with each new line crossed, and this is where the trouble begins. From "I only went to see the stripper" to "I only touched the stripper, everyone was doing it" to "since you got over the stripper thing, this girl in the bar was throwing herself at me and....."

 

And dont believe for one second that all they do at those bachelor parties is watch stripper. My boyfriend chose not to go to them anymore because he was disgusted that the "Groom to be" was being sexually serviced by a stripper,and there was a line of guys also waiting there turn. He says hes seen this one tome too many, has no respect for the guy whos getting married,the the sleaziness of the strippers themselves,and the rest of the men who jump on the "Hey, Its just guys being guys" bandwagon.

 

Sheila

[JC]

He is the man in the relationship. He should be able to do whatever he wants. The man in the relationship shouldn't go to a woman asking for her permission. He doesn't need your permission to go have fun. That's retarded.

 

My boyfriend has been invited to a somewhat "wild" bachelor party. From what I gather, there will be strippers/dancers and what have you. Now, I trust him extremely... but I dont know how comfortable I am saying "go look at half naked women and have fun while they throw themselves at you" to him. He told me if it made me feel akward he wouldn't go, but who I am to tell him that? I honestly feel very uncomfortable about that, but I would feel wrong telling the man i love not to go do the guy thing with his guy friends for a bachelor party. Yet, all my friends are men, and I know what happens sometimes..and it irks me to think about it even more even though I trust him. Do I just brush my insecurity aside and accept this as a normal thing and let him be??? Or do I tell him my true feelings regarding this and ask him to respect my feelings and not go? Thanks

[Sheila]

He is the man in the relationship. He should be able to do whatever he wants. The man in the relationship shouldn't go to a woman asking for her permission. He doesn't need your permission to go have fun. That's retarded.

JC,

 

You sound chauvanistic, insensitive,and using your own word, "retarded". Obviously, you probably havent had any meaningful relationships in your life if thats your attitude, but then, Im sure that you and your hand are very happy that way.

 

Sheila