I am so lonely and I miss him soo much What do I do!

[marzipan75]

He broke up with me a week ago today. I didn't think I could go without him but I did it. I am still so lonely and miss him soo much. I want him back. Will I feel differently later? Cause I've been going out with friends and stuff but it only works to help me forget for a little while. I've been with him so long, I had forgotten how hard it was to get out there and just have fun on the night scene. I miss him and can't help but wish he would come back to me. Should I call him? I wanna call him so badly. Please help.

[Tony T]

First of all, you've got to forget him. A break up is a break up. There was a good reason for the break up. He probably won't be back. One of the steps, the final step in the grieving process, is acceptance.

 

I know right now you want to hear somebody tell you he'll be back in your life shortly and you'll live happily ever after but that only happens in a small number of cases, almost never.

 

Don't dare call him or contact him in any form. This will only piss him off and alienate him further. There is nothing attractive about a lovesick lady pursuing a dead relationship. That will not impress him or influence him, it will only cause him to be nauseated. No phone calls, no email, no snail mail, no messages through friends, NO NOTHING!!!

 

The purpose of dating is to find the person who is right for both of you. He obviously made the decision that you or the time was just not exactly what it should be. Nothing personal. But the system has worked. You can't force somebody to be with you when he has made the decision that it is not what he wants.

 

Sure you are sad and lonely now. Break ups hurt like hell. It has taken me years in the past to get over someone, although I am a lot slower than most. First, you don't need to get out right away. It's only been a week. Give yourself the luxury of being sad and depressed for just a little while before you start going out with friends and trying to force yourself to be sociable. IT DOES GET A LOT BETTER WITH TIME.

 

Each day, you will think less and less about your ex. Right now, you are not wanting to let go. But once you make the decision to let him go, you'll be fine. Then, slowly you can get back into a new social circle and use what you have learned to find somebody who will be right for you. Right now, that's not what you want to do and that's OK. But you will be absolutely fine. Just be patient with yourself.

 

Use this down time to do special things for yourself and concentrate on yourself. You need to teach yourself that you don't need this guy...or any guy...to be happy. The more you begin to love yourself, the more likely you are to find the perfect person for you in the future.