What to do

[speedartist]

Hi guys Iv'e never done this before, but can use some advice. I got divorced in 01 wasn't friendly and had the mother in-law from hell, who left her husband of 40 yrs to go party with my ex. Anyway I left do to abusive behavior of my ex then tried to fix it and pleaded as all us guys do the pleading and begging etc... anyway had no contact only a couple of times and it was hostile my ex who has a drinking problem, which caused alot of problems along with the mother inlaw. I had a stepdaughter and have not got to see her in almost 5 years. Anyway 2 weeks ago my ex called late one night asked me if i could come over she needed to talk, she is getting out of an abusive relationship getting a restraing order? and we talked and i didn't tell her what to to just listened and we cuddled a little, it was strange nothing and then this, we talked and there was no ill will, i called her a couple days later she was having problems and didn't want to talk, we e-mailed 5 or six times and i haven't e-mailed her in a week. That night she said she loved me still. she has medical problems and is seeing a counseler for all her prolems, not the medical, she lost her job,has problems with her daughter and most of her family has disowned her. I still love here and don't know what to do, i'm not contacting waiting to see if she contacts me. I'm confused why after all these years she calls me and then says stay in touch by e-mail, I told her i couldn't be just friends and she needed to tell me to go if she wanted no further contact, which she hasn't. I know this a long letter sorry, she still had our wedding picture and special things i had bought her and had her wedding ring made into a necklace with my initial. I'm confused should i stay away and see what happens??or is she playing me or still has feelings because I always treated her good...

[scobro]

Tread lightly you do not want to repeat what happened before

[downcydeguy]

Maybe this is that rare occurance when people fall in love again? Timing is key to relationships, so maybe you two were meant to be together - not then, but now. Scobro is right, though. Definitely tread lightly. Just offer your support if you're comfortable doing so and see what develops.

[speedartist]

Thanks for the advice, I wrote things in the few e-mails to say how i felt and i wanted to help,i did this to see if she would feel pressured and i would get a reply to leave her alone. She replied and said she had to take care of her own messes(which is true) but avoided any romantic response, so I AM treading very lightly and not contacting her. I just need some objective prospective, i know she probaly hasn't told anyone she seen me or if she did or even told her counseler they might say are you nuts...she made a point of showing me and telling me all the things going on, but if she has all this going i'm the last thing on her mind right now???, i think keeping my distance which is hard but i'm doing it is the right thing to do. I don't think she would have contacted me after all these years on a whim or was wasted, at first she wanted me to do a couple of things with her and then changed her mind scared i guess, but was very polite about it, she wanted all my contact info. People this perplexing to me and i don't want to blow it, but i also worry she might be in harms way with this guy hurting her, but i cant interfer.