digger Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 1st off--Mz Pixie--dont retort with "get on with your life" lol i'm trying OK, Here goes.... Just got word my 1st EW out of the goodness of her heart, has bought my retarded son plane tix to come see me for Thanksgiving. (thank god for humans, she knows what I lost and how hard it is for me right now). And Im real excited bout it. So after having a greaaaaat time with daughter last Saturday, i told her the boy was coming and would she spend T'giving with us. She emailed back and said she'll be there with her b/f but even if he cant make it--she wouldnt miss it. So far so good. I'm thinking, closer to time do I resort to an act of kindness and ask the recent EW if sh'ed like to join us? It would be human on my part and I could see her maybe not wanting to be alone on that day. It will be kinda rough on her being all alone seeing as how she and daughter are inseparable, and here we are--all 3 of us enjoying ourselves at my place. Orrrrr, leave her out of the mix and dont even ask (she made her bed so to speak). A little bit of me wants to NOT ask at all and have her sit home looking at the walls, such as ive been made to do for 1 1/2 yrs. I realize if i did ask i might get an excuse or a NO!!! But seeing as how its gonna be the 3 of us definitely, not sure her response would even bother me. What do u think? Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 I think it depends on what kind of you relationship you two have at this point. If things are civil and comfortable, I see no reason why EW can't be part of the holiday. However, if there are still a lot of unresolved feelings, it may be better to let her find her own way of spending the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted November 4, 2005 Author Share Posted November 4, 2005 see thats just it i dunno 2 wks ago when i called her by mistake, thinking fast i asked her to go to a game she said "oh i really cant i'm so tired etc etc treating me like a humnan for the first time in 18 months..i expected to hear WEVE BEEN THRU THIS B4 I DONT LOVE U ANYMORE!!! like i had heard--so im thinking shes softening maybe. But i go to pik up some things a week ago and she has a book inside in which shes highlighted "god has better things in store for you' etc etc...which i think that book has been in my belongings pile for 6 months since she moved. Im wishing that her phone converse with me is the real her NOW but i dunno Link to post Share on other sites
i know Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 digger, I wouldn't invite her. I've read through most of your posts and it's obvious you haven't been able to move past the hurt of your divorce. I think that even if you don't realize it, your offer of spending thanksgiving with you under the pretense of doing her a favor is probably a subversive way for you to try to interact with her again. I think it would probably hurt you in the long run. Really, let her make the first move if she is going to do it. But never wait for her to do that. Ever. Again. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Yeah Digger.. I read through some of your earlier posts. I think you have too much hurt that's still brewing....too much unresolved anger and confusion towards this woman. As much as you wish for there to be a pleasant relationship between the two of you, it sounds like you need more time 'living seperate lives' so to speak. Enjoy your holiday. She will be fine Link to post Share on other sites
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