Deployment/ Communication

[Trix37]

So, my boyfriend and I both are getting deployed. We have been together now for 3+ years and are living together. But, now with a deployment coming up I'm getting concerned about us getting through it. I will miss him so much and I'm looking for advice on how to handle the distance and communication. It will be about a year before we can actually speak or be together in person again. We've hit bumps alpng the road similar to this before, but nearly as long. Please offer any advice on how we can get through this together. 

[FMW]

I'm sure you have, but reach out to other military spouses/partners for advice and support.  Yours is a unique situation that most non-military people could not relate to.   

Make good use of the communication options available to you.  Discuss what you both want the communication to be (how often, etc.)  Build on your previous experiences of temporary physical separations and prepare together.   

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Trix37 said:

. Please offer any advice on how we can get through this together. 

Sorry this is happening. Are either of you ready for marriage? Would the military take a different stance on separating you two if you were a married couple?

[introverted1]

On 1/30/2023 at 12:46 AM, Trix37 said:

It will be about a year before we can actually speak or be together in person again.

You won't be able to speak to each other for the entire time?  This seems unusual.  Can you elaborate?

[BaileyB]

18 hours ago, introverted1 said:

You won't be able to speak to each other for the entire time?  This seems unusual.  Can you elaborate?

Also my question. In todays age, people are so easily able to connect virtually. I’m curious to know why this wouldn’t be a possibility - because, I would think that it would really help. 

[justwhoiam]

On 1/30/2023 at 6:46 AM, Trix37 said:

I will miss him so much and I'm looking for advice on how to handle the distance and communication.

Start a Penzu journal with him. You can write entries at your own pace, you can update him about anything, he can do the same. And the entire journal will be there for you both as a memory, even after deployment will be over. This will cover the communication when neither of you is available at the same time. Messaging is fine to say goodnight or good morning, but hardly works for real communication as messages are short.

Sharing the same login and password, there's a chance you can write on Penzu at the same time and anything you write gets saved in real time, so you can use MS Word or google Docs to write anything, then copy and paste to Penzu and press save. This will prevent losing anything you've written.

If you want to comment whatever he wrote, you just use font in a different color or find a different way to highlight what you wrote, or start a new page altogether. On Penzu you can also post pictures or share links. That means you can also do something fun like take tests online, like how much do you love her? and then share results... Or share details about the dream you had about him... and so on.

If you want to arrange a videocall, you can text him I'll be available on this day at this time... hoping he's available too.

Good luck!

[Alpacalia]

So I met this woman the other night in my Yoga class and she was telling me how she lived in the US and met her now husband on a vacation in Norway. They were long distance initially but have been married for over 20 years with three children. I'll try to find out more from her what they did while apart and post later! Hang in there.