Jump to content

Is this guy abusive? Should I break up or stay?


Recommended Posts

Maybe he won’t commit because of some red flags he perceived…

If he won’t commit and say the words you want to hear when you want to hear them, then you have two choices: stay and be patient or leave. 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's pretty easy to see why this guy has no interest in committing to you because of your attitude.  Why did you continue having sex with him if he wouldn't say you two were exclusive?  I think he lied when he told you he loved you.  If he really loved you he'd jump to be exclusive and committed as your boyfriend.  He's done neither.

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Johnjohnson2017

You're not asking him to marry you. You're just asking him not to see/talk to anyone else. Even if you become bf/gf, you could break up the next week/or the next day.

I don't understand why he doesn't want to be exclusive with you. Is he hiding something from you? Does he want to date around still? Does he have someone else he is interested in?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think he liked you ok in the beginning, he even took you on a trip and said that he loved you; however, the constant nagging about one little thing that’s not even important totally seems to turn him off. It would turn me off, too. If I already spend plenty of quality time with a guy, and we’re intimate and the ILY has been said, I don’t need him to constantly push me to say something else, just because he’s insecure. It would make me think less of him. Nobody likes an insecure and needy partner. It’s very exhausting and your guy is right in not committing based on that very fact. 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, disisdisaster said:

You didn't even read the post correctly....... He said that after 6 weeks when I told him I'm really done with fighting over this silly issue and am leaving. It means a lot. But I want A why give B and tell me I should be happy with A? Also if you love someone, it really shouldnt' be even an issue to become bf/gf so why keep fighting? That's jus absurd.

Whether it’s three weeks or six weeks doesn’t seem significant to me, either way your answer to I love you is to get angry and say that exclusivity is all you care about.  I am not saying that his “I love you,” should be everything and you can’t want more than that, but it just feels weird to me that the “I love you,” seems to mean nothing to you.  
 

it looks like this was your convo:

him:  I love you

you:  I’m really done fighting over this silly issue… angry, angry.

My gut tells me you didn’t answer him that way, but maybe you did?  Was there no, “I love you, too?”  And if not, maybe that has caused him to pause?  And if there was, do you love him?  I feel like love doesn’t usually inspire this kind of grinding until you get what you want.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You are part of your own problem, OP

I am going to guess that you are not really willing to consider this, though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...