Men who go for plus sized women

[mortensorchid]

I'm not sure if this should go in this section of the forum, but here is a question for others (men as well as women, I suppose) : Why do some men go for plus sized women?

I am considered technically plus sized as I am 5'10" and flux between a size 10-12, I am in my BMI.  I am not talking about Victoria's Secret Angels who are as tall as me but a size 0-4, I am talking about average people not that small percentage.  I have two guy friends who go for big women, as in obese women.  The first A was actually warming up to me at one point because I used to be 40 lbs fatter than I am now.  Once I started loosing the weight, he friendzoned me, which was alright with me.  I talked with others about him and others said to me that he goes for the bigger women because he wants to be the center of their world and thin women don't do that for him.  The second B told me that all thin women are [rude] to others.  He has since amended this by telling others that I am the one and only exception to this opinion.  Bigger women have better dispositions and are nicer to him and others around them.  

What do I think of these opinions?  I find the first rather narcissistic, to a lesser degree the second one.  They both seem to be saying to me that for them it's not about physical beauty but what's inside.  But is it really?  Any thoughts or opinions on this? 

Edited February 6, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
gendered insult

[Wiseman2]

They seem discriminatory and you may want to consider not taking their opinions seriously. It's distasteful at best  for them to say heavier women are this and slimmer are that. It doesn't seem like an intelligent conversation worth your time listening to.

Edited February 6, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[glows]

These are stereotypes though and very damaging ones perpetuating all kinds of body image issues. If a group of people were all to treat me a certain way I wouldn’t start making blanket statements like that as he has. I would question myself and what I’m doing wrong around this group of people - possibly coming across as a total creep or focusing too closely on looks or the physique of a person. 

I’m sure there are many other unknowns or factors not considered. Did someone of a certain size snub him once and traumatize him? How insecure or secure are these men in general? 

We’re all allowed to have our preferences but shallow comments like these might turn me right off.

 

Edited February 6, 2023 by glows

[mark clemson]

People can be attracted to all sorts of stuff. Feet, latex outfits, wedding cake, buildings (yes, really). Some guys are turned on by bigger women.

They can be appealing because their bodies and/or personalities are attractive to those men and/or they feel very good during intimacy or are good at it.

*Some* are indeed nicer and think there is a tendency for them to be a bit humbler and more appreciative of a "regular guy" than some of the super-hot women who every guy seems to want to chase and put on a pedestal (and so may sometimes "take men for granted" or show little interest in men who don't stand out in some way). I suspect being appreciated can be a big turn on for some men, as well as making for a more pleasant relationship generally.

For myself I have a wide range and can find slimmer or somewhat bigger women appealing. Beyond a certain point in either direction they are no longer appealing (for me).

Edited February 7, 2023 by mark clemson

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

The second B told me that all thin women are [rude] to others.  He has since amended this by telling others that I am the one and only exception to this opinion.  Bigger women have better dispositions and are nicer to him and others around them.  

I think these generalizations are really dumb and don't even make sense.  

All thin women are rude, and larger women are nice?  I would question the intelligence of someone who says something so ridiculous.  People are individuals and you can't make generalizations like this.

[ironpony]

On 2/6/2023 at 4:09 PM, mortensorchid said:

I'm not sure if this should go in this section of the forum, but here is a question for others (men as well as women, I suppose) : Why do some men go for plus sized women?

I am considered technically plus sized as I am 5'10" and flux between a size 10-12, I am in my BMI.  I am not talking about Victoria's Secret Angels who are as tall as me but a size 0-4, I am talking about average people not that small percentage.  I have two guy friends who go for big women, as in obese women.  The first A was actually warming up to me at one point because I used to be 40 lbs fatter than I am now.  Once I started loosing the weight, he friendzoned me, which was alright with me.  I talked with others about him and others said to me that he goes for the bigger women because he wants to be the center of their world and thin women don't do that for him.  The second B told me that all thin women are [rude] to others.  He has since amended this by telling others that I am the one and only exception to this opinion.  Bigger women have better dispositions and are nicer to him and others around them.  

What do I think of these opinions?  I find the first rather narcissistic, to a lesser degree the second one.  They both seem to be saying to me that for them it's not about physical beauty but what's inside.  But is it really?  Any thoughts or opinions on this? 

I'm a guy who has gone for many plus sized women.  I've done it because the women did give me near as many chances compared to thin women.  So I became much more attracted to the plus sized women's personalities as a result.  Plus they would laught at my sense of humor a lot more and were much more attracted to me.

This part might sound kind of shallow but I find that bigger women have usually been better in bed it seems as well, as they are just much more passionate, compared to thin in my experience, but I know this is not the case for all, just seems like the usual numbers in my experience. 

Edited February 8, 2023 by ironpony

[Els]

Your "friends" sound like ginormous douches.

That being said, for some people it's just a kink of theirs. Who knows how and why people get kinks? That's just what they're attracted to. It's fine as long as they don't make up stuff about "plus sized people being nicer".

Edited February 8, 2023 by Els

[Alpacalia]

That's interesting. It sounds like both A and B prefer bigger women for different reasons. While A may prefer bigger women for the sense of importance they provide, B may simply prefer their better dispositions and friendliness. Nevertheless, it's good to see that you don't fit into either negative opinion that they have on women. 

People tend to have different preferences and opinions about beauty and relationships. It's important to remember that these opinions are subjective and may not be true for everyone.

Their reasons for choosing a partner can be influenced by many factors such as personality, interests, and physical appearance.

People tend to generalize in order to simplify and make sense of their surroundings. Is often quicker and easier than considering individual cases. It is also a way to make assumptions about groups of people that can be used to make decisions.

Consider it this way. Clearly, if this is their thought process, then they are not able to critically think for themselves. Thanks for their service. They can go now.

[FMW]

I think it's offensive to women of all sizes and shapes to wonder why a man finds any particular woman attractive based solely on the basis of her body.  No one asks why a man goes for blondes, etc.  Stereotypes of the personality of someone based on their body is equally offensive.  

So anyone who made these types of comments would not be someone for whom I would have much respect or even interest in their thought process.  

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, FMW said:

I think it's offensive to women of all sizes and shapes to wonder why a man finds any particular woman attractive based solely on the basis of her body.  No one asks why a man goes for blondes, etc.  Stereotypes of the personality of someone based on their body is equally offensive.  

So anyone who made these types of comments would not be someone for whom I would have much respect or even interest in their thought process.  

I agree.  Just like it's offensive to men to wonder why a woman finds any particular guy attractive based solely on his height.  We all have feelings.