Second date guidance for a guy that doesn't make it to too many second dates.

[Alpacalia]

32 minutes ago, justasht said:

@AlpacaliaI realized I don’t think I have the time to put together a picnic unless I order takeout haha.  

Boo. No fun. lol

I used to pack little picnics when I went to the beach with others. I'd also bring things like wet wipes, aspirin, a first aid kit too!

Picnic food should be easy to transport, not require refrigeration, and be easy to eat with your hands.

Why not bring a couple favorite foods of yours that you'd like her to experience and share with her. Do you have one? Do you know what kind of food she likes? You can also do potluck!

Or keep it simps, charcuterie with some nice wine or ale, fruit, chocolate. The wine doesn't have to be expensive either. You can get a really good bottle for under $10.

Edited February 9, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, justasht said:

. I also have to eat only soft foods for 10 days so it will be hard to go to a restaurant I’d say….  

Has she responded to your communication yet? The oral surgeon's office will give you details on what to eat and avoid, so don't worry about that. In the meantime, give her the heads up about your procedure and suggest a nonfood type of date when you're able to go out .

Make sure you're not erring on the side of playing it too cool in order to compensate for "seeming too  available" in the past. She seems interested so be straight forward and sincere. 

 

[justasht]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Has she responded to your communication yet? The oral surgeon's office will give you details on what to eat and avoid, so don't worry about that. In the meantime, give her the heads up about your procedure and suggest a nonfood type of date when you're able to go out .

Make sure you're not erring on the side of playing it too cool in order to compensate for "seeming too  available" in the past. She seems interested so be straight forward and sincere. 

 

@Wiseman2 @Alpacalia, I sent my text last night and I haven’t heard back yet. Usually not a good sign but I took a day to respond to her so 🤷‍♂️

[Alpacalia]

If it's only been 24 hours since you last heard from the person, it's not necessary to jump to any conclusions. She could be busy with work, family, or other responsibilities, or she might simply be taking some time for herself.

If you're feeling anxious about not hearing back, you could try reaching out again to see if she's okay, but be mindful of not coming across as pushy or demanding. If she still doesn't respond, it might be best to give her some space and wait for her to reach out when she's ready.

Remember that relationships, especially those that are just starting, require patience and understanding. Trust that if the person is interested in continuing the relationship, they will get back to you when they're able.

[justasht]

Just now, Alpacalia said:

If it's only been 24 hours since you last heard from the person, it's not necessary to jump to any conclusions. She could be busy with work, family, or other responsibilities, or she might simply be taking some time for herself.

If you're feeling anxious about not hearing back, you could try reaching out again to see if she's okay, but be mindful of not coming across as pushy or demanding. If she still doesn't respond, it might be best to give her some space and wait for her to reach out when she's ready.

Remember that relationships, especially those that are just starting, require patience and understanding. Trust that if the person is interested in continuing the relationship, they will get back to you when they're able.

@Alpacalia You’re right. Wow, you guys are awesome. 

[Alpacalia]

1 minute ago, justasht said:

@Alpacalia You’re right. Wow, you guys are awesome. 

Us sassy gals usually are. 

[justasht]

@Alpacalia @Wiseman2 So I have dressing in my upper part of my mouth (allow it to heal) and on my lower teeth (right side). Do you think it is okay to schedule a date with someone for this week with this dressing in my mouth. I don't think you can really see it when smiling, but I think the bigger deal is that I can only eat soft foods until the 23rd when they take it out...

What is the best way to deal to either schedule a date or postpone without them losing interest?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, justasht said:

@Alpacalia @Wiseman2 So I have dressing in my upper part of my mouth (allow it to heal) and on my lower teeth (right side). Do you think it is okay to schedule a date with someone for this week with this dressing in my mouth. I don't think you can really see it when smiling, but I think the bigger deal is that I can only eat soft foods until the 23rd when they take it out...

What is the best way to deal to either schedule a date or postpone without them losing interest?

Sure. She knows about it, right? Just pick something with no eating. How's the speech/taking? Do you have to take meds? Maybe figure out a simple type of date that doesn't strain anything.

[Alpacalia]

I'm confused. Is this the same woman? Maybe wait until after you're fully recovered.

Edited February 12, 2023 by Alpacalia

[justasht]

Just now, Alpacalia said:

I'm confused. Is this the same woman? Maybe wait until after your dental surgery and you're fully recovered.

@Alpacalia This is a different woman now. I texted the other woman (K) on Wednesday before surgery and still haven't heard back. Might hear back tomorrow from K based on the trend of her responses. This new girl I planned to go to mini golf on Wednesday last week but she canceled due to a work deadline. We texted after my surgery. And she's been responding. 

@Wiseman2 Talking is actually surprisingly okay I think. I am on antibiotics and strong ibuprofen/tylenol. Pain is under control.

What do you guys think? I think I could do mini golf because they only told me not to exercise. 

[Alpacalia]

17 hours ago, justasht said:

@Alpacalia This is a different woman now. I texted the other woman (K) on Wednesday before surgery and still haven't heard back. Might hear back tomorrow from K based on the trend of her responses. This new girl I planned to go to mini golf on Wednesday last week but she canceled due to a work deadline. We texted after my surgery. And she's been responding. 

Many women might lose interest if a man is still actively dating other people. I would. 

It sounds like you are dating multiple women and trying to keep track of the different relationships.

You pushed the date to far out with her and I think she lost interest at this point. At least, values herself enough not to go on another date with you.

So, it may be a good idea to focus on one relationship at a time and see where it goes before starting another.

Sorry.

[justasht]

@Alpacalia I’ve only been on date with K, and I have been following the advice of going on 2-3 dates before making a decision on who to pursue because I have  heard that it is better not to date with a scarcity mindset because it makes you feel more desperate, etc. Do you disagree with this mindset when everything is so new?

[Alpacalia]

21 minutes ago, justasht said:

@Alpacalia I’ve only been on date with K, and I have been following the advice of going on 2-3 dates before making a decision on who to pursue because I have  heard that it is better not to date with a scarcity mindset because it makes you feel more desperate, etc. Do you disagree with this mindset when everything is so new?

I agree that's a good idea to go slow and not rush into a decision about who to pursue, especially when you're just getting to know someone. Going on 2-3 dates before making a decision is a common approach, but it's also important to remember that everyone is different, and what works for one person may not work for another.

Having a scarcity mindset, where you feel desperate and feel like you have to make a decision quickly, can definitely be harmful to your dating experience. It can lead to you making hasty decisions or settling for someone who may not be a good fit for you.

On the other hand, being too patient and taking too long to make a decision can also be problematic, as you might miss out on opportunities to connect with someone who could be a good match.

If you’re busy, have social options and a cool, interesting life then not only will you be happier and more attractive but you won’t care so much and display unnecessary neediness, she’s along for your ride, she isn’t your ride, you want her but you don’t need her and you’re okay with walking if things go south.