Hellolove Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 There are several scenarios that men marry. a) A couple in a relationship. After dating for a few years, they failed to reach the marriage state, broke off and parted ways. The man in a short period, married another woman. b) A man has been single for a few years. Love struck with a woman and dated steadily and ended in a marriage. c) A man has been a highly eligible bachelor for many years and dated around. Love struck with a woman and sealed a marriage deal. I am just wondering from a male’s perspective, especially scenario one, in that why did men settle? Is it really love-at-first-sight? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 (edited) Not sure where you feel the man in scenario 1 settled. On the contrary he didn’t seem to settle and went on to meet someone he might have been more compatible with and married her. Is this missing more context? I get the sense you’re feeling puzzled why the men in the scenarios appeared to have a change of heart. There are a lot of possible factors. As an outsider with limited info it may seem puzzling to us but very natural to others who know these people well. Reasons for marriage are usually attraction and overall compatibility. Keep in mind people change as well and divorce is common. Edited February 11, 2023 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 I can think of 4 reasons: 1. Love; 2. Greed; 3. Coercion; 4. Need/desperation. Hopefully, most are for love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Hellolove said: A couple in a relationship. After dating for a few years, they failed to reach the marriage state, broke off and parted ways. The man in a short period, married another woman. Marriage is usually right time, right person. In example a) it seems either or both ( right time, right person) were missing. Edited February 11, 2023 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 (edited) 8 hours ago, Hellolove said: a) A couple in a relationship. After dating for a few years, they failed to reach the marriage state, broke off and parted ways. The man in a short period, married another woman. [ ] There's no reason to believe that he settled - he very likely fell madly in love and married her. It would have been foolish of him to let a good one get away Edited February 12, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator civility 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, basil67 said: [ ] There's no reason to believe that he settled - he very likely fell madly in love and married her. It would have been foolish of him to let a good one get away This is definitely what happened to the 2 men in my examples. It was a matter of falling head over heels in love with those women that made them rush off to the altar. This is why people shouldn't hang on to relationships that aren't working. Your true love could be the next one coming. This happened many, many years ago and those couples are still going strong. Edited February 12, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator edit quote 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 (edited) The odds are against love at first sight leading to a lasting marriage, unfortunately. Relationships can't survive life's inevitable bumps on the basis of passion and infatuation alone. Of course, there are success stories as well. It may be that he felt a strong connection with the new partner at first sight and everything just kind of fell into place. It may be that he was searching for a new relationship and found someone with whom he was compatible and connected strongly. There's also financial factors. Marriage can provide a sense of financial stability and security, which can be appealing to men who are looking to build a secure future for themselves and their families. He may also have felt pressured to settle into a marriage by societal expectations and started a new relationship as a result. Further, he may have felt that he was well matched with the new partner in terms of his values, interests, and goals, and that she was capable of providing him with the companionship and support he was looking for. The first time I was proposed to, I was too young and said no. I said no because I honestly was not prepared for such commitment, so early and that fast. Not all marriages are based on love at first sight, and people absolutely fall in love and build relationships at different speeds. Ultimately, the motivations behind a man's decision to get married will depend on his individual circumstances and experiences. Many men get married simply because they have fallen in love with their partner and want to make a lifetime commitment to them. Edited February 12, 2023 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 Love at first sight is extremely rare--and technically I would say it's love feelings--or hormone-induced infatuation feelings-- at first sight. When we typically say"love at first sight" there is an assumption that there is real love there ... despite not knowing the person, not knowing their values, not knowing their sleep habits, not knowing their finances, not knowing their family, not knowing the way they were raised, not knowing their personality vs ours, not knowing .... So I reject your assumption here. Just because someone marries doesn't mean they have figured out some mature kind of love. Lots of people get married under cultural pressures, fear of getting old and so on ...Marriages after short periods are really risky and unstable. You just don't know the person, don't know if you and the partner have the stuff that REALLY keeps people together through the raw and messy ups and downs of life. A is the typical scenario for men and women ... you're single ... you meet someone at some point ... and you marry them if you really like them. Not sure what your question is. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 (edited) Marriage is a "rite-of-passage" for many, so in addition to some of the things listed above, some men simply decide "it's time to settle down" and act accordingly. There are of course a significant % for whom this doesn't apply, and a certain % who are hetero but simply decide not to marry. I've read that some grew up with parents in a bad marriage and would prefer to stay single than risk ending up in a bad marriage. Not sure how psychologically accurate that is, but there's probably at least some (both men and women) who are like that. On 2/11/2023 at 8:44 AM, Hellolove said: a) A couple in a relationship. After dating for a few years, they failed to reach the marriage state, broke off and parted ways. The man in a short period, married another woman. It could be a variety of things. Relationships tend to start off well and then regress to the mean, so it's possible the man was ready to marry and the new person was more "appealing" by virtue of new relationship hormones, excitement, etc. There are some folks who "chase" the new relationship buzz and are not hesitant to leave once those feelings eventually fade. As one could imagine, marrying a person like this probably isn't a great idea. Not saying your hypothetical scenario male is like this, but it's worth mentioning. Edited February 13, 2023 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 Men will marry when they love their partner and want to spend the rest of their lives with them. There are no hidden agendas. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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