Unhappy Husband Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 So, am really confused at the moment. In relationship 22 years, married 15. Wife says a couple of weeks ago she wants to separate, had enough. We have not been getting on too well for a while. I probably take 65% or so of the blame here. I honestly think this is mainly down to communication (lack of, unclear) and making an effort with each other (i.e. time, focus). Just getting on with normal life I guess. She has spent a couple of months thinking about this and said she was 90% certain. That said, she has agreed to counselling and in the last 2 weeks we have been getting on a lot better and talking lots. It has blown me away and it has really bought out my love for her. A real wake up call. What I am so worried about is that its too little too late. I am finding I am getting very down at the moment as I am putting effort it and nothing coming back (not that it is effort if that makes sense, I am actually being truer to myself). Messages to me are generally short, when asking about how she is feeling during normal conversation it never goes that deep) and she has said no to even a hug as she doesnt want to send mixed messages. Said she will not be getting me anything for valentines but then suggested we walk to pub on Weds for a meal? I am an impatient person by nature, and she has said baby steps are needed but just unsure if she is genuine on this and not just playing me along a little bit - maybe to ease guilt, give time... Maybe she is just trying to see if any 'change' is long lasting. So when a woman is almost set on separation does that mean its final? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 I get the sense you’re looking for confirmation about whether your marriage will survive and no one can give you that answer. Couples have been known to separate and then reconcile or even divorce one another and then find their way back to one another in rare cases. Generally, separation leads to divorce and the permanent end to a marriage. There can be a period of calm and cordiality before divorce becomes final, acceptance by both that it’s over or a better perspective after separation that life is possible without the other person after marriage. As far as her intentions to separate those are fully up to her and we can’t tell you what she’s thinking. We can strongly suggest you speak with a lawyer in private regarding your legal affairs so that you’re feeling more peace of mind during this turbulent and devastating time. Are you also finding support via therapy or private counselling? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 27 minutes ago, Unhappy Husband said: , she has agreed to counselling and in the last 2 weeks we have been getting on a lot better and talking lots. The good news is she agreed to counselling. However you could consult an attorney (privately and confidentiality) to discuss your options in the event of divorce to cover the bases . Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 I think she has checked out. She's just going with the motions now to give you a chance, but it wont last for long. She spent months thinking about it. She has already made her decision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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