JadeStar Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 I saw this topic on another forum and thought I would get others opinons. Suposse your spouse was cheating and you didn't know. Your spouse sleeps with someone and that person DID NOT know they were married, but that person later on discovers they were. The person that found out wants to come clean and tell the other spouse that doesn't know about the cheating. Would you want to know? Would you want the other innocent party I guess you could say since they didn't know, to tell you? Or would you rather find out on your own? I think I would want to know, by the other person. Would I be mad and hurt? Sure but probably not at that person, more so my spouse for playing like he wasn't married. But thats just MO? If you wouldn't want to know from the other person, why? Jade Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 If the affair partner in question was totally oblivious to my existence prior to entering the relationship … I would feel grateful for her honesty and even sympathetic regarding her pain knowing she had been as unfairly taken advantage of as me. I may even feel as passionate about championing her position as I was my own. However, if her confession came after already knowing my partner was previously involved with someone else, I'd clearly see the vindictive motive behind those actions and think even less of her character. Of course, that would matter little to someone like this who clearly has no regard for anyone's feelings except their own. I would just hope (for her sake) that she didn't rile me further by making any false claims that she was confessing because she had my best interests at heart. While I'd be happy to know the truth one way or another, in the later situation, I honestly might be fighting back the temptation to exact a little pay-back of my own. After extricating the cheating partner from my life, of course! But that would depend solely on the situation and my ability to rein in my own emotions at the time…or how tactful the other woman was at dropping her little bomb. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 I would definitely want to know. I wouldn't care who told me or how I found out since the outcome would be the same regardless. Personally, I've never understood being angry at the person with whom your SO cheated. I've been cheated on by gf's before (never married) but never held anything against the other guy. He was just trying to get some action. It's the responsibility of my (now ex) gf('s) to make sure that doesn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Anson Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 First, in answer to your question- Yes indeed. I'd want to know and I agree with person above; I don't care how I find out as long as I find out. This day and age one can not afford waiting. It could cost your your life in disease. However, playing 'advocate' for the one that "tells", I must say I've had some neg experience. (I'm female). One of my girlfriends husband came on to me once. He refused to back off, so I told her about it. NOTHING HAPPENED by the way.... all the same, she took her frustration out on me instead of him. I guess it's a gamble all the way around, but in the end, I say do the right thing. I'd do it exactly the same if I had it to do over with the exception of one thing. I think I'd have slapped his face real good. Still pisses me off to think of how he treated her. Link to post Share on other sites
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