ExpatInItaly Posted February 16, 2023 Share Posted February 16, 2023 You are using your husband as a safety net. That is incredibly unfair to him and your kids. You need to divorce him either way, not just on the condition that another man wants you. Woman up and let him go. You are not doing him or your family any favours by sticking around just in case your affair partner doesn't want to be with you. You (and AP) have built up a big fantasy in your mind, but reality is going to dump a cold bucket of water on you here. The likelihood that this man leaves his wife for you is close to zero, and you two don't even know each other that well to begin with. What is happening in these five months that he wants you to go away? That's an oddly specific time frame. Is his wife pregnant? And perhaps the day he said he'll be in touch again is after the due date? You are being hoodwinked, girl. Time to wake up. 5 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 16, 2023 Share Posted February 16, 2023 14 hours ago, bfxing said: He, too, has talked about leaving his wife for me, expressed that we are meant to be together, etc. But maybe it's gotten too real and that's why he wants the break. I should likely operate as if it's completely over. That's exactly what it is, OVER! Don't wait for him because he has no intention of leaving his wife and he wont be back after 5 months. Married men never leave their wives. They tell the other woman exactly what they want to hear. Do the right thing here for everyone's sake, especially all the young children and block him from ever contacting you again. Go to therapy with your husband so you can have your eyes opened to what you are actually putting him through, putting everyone through for a guy that has bailed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 16, 2023 Share Posted February 16, 2023 Wait, how in the heck are you going to go to marriage counseling while at the same time waiting to find out if your AP is going to leave his wife so that you can leave your husband. What kind of messed up thinking is this? Skip marriage counseling and go to individual counseling first. You cannot be a good partner to your husband right now. You must work on yourself first and foremost. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 16, 2023 Share Posted February 16, 2023 21 hours ago, bfxing said: If my AP does not leave his wife, I will need to repair things with my husband. This is messed up ^^^^ You need to examine your thinking behind this statement. I cannot see for the life of me what purpose this will serve other than maybe you cannot afford to be on your own--financially or emotionally. It won't be good for your husband to be treated as second best or definitely not a good environment for your kids. You cannot hide this sentiment in your daily life--even though you probably think you can. I would not want to grow up in a household where my mom felt this way about my dad. Have the courage to leave the guy. BTW, I don't think your AP is going to leave his wife but that is merely me speculating. If anything, I'd guess he will drag it out back and forth with you because of the emotional connection you guys seem to have had and the attention/ego boost. But when it comes to taking action, look at his actions thus far...basically nothing much at all. It sounds like you got together in person once. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I think It's very wrong for you to put your husband through this. He deserves so much better. He doesn't deserve to be kept hanging on a string. Divorce him and let him find a woman who knows how to treat him like he matters. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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