petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 Can anyone advise please? I met this woman on December 2022. Im 38m and she is 37f. We met back in a department store got talking, went for a coffee, had amazing conversation, connected very well and exchange numbers. She also text me that evening. Went for a dinner and started holding hands on 2nd date on a walk near the riverside. Third date went for bowling, arcades, had lots of fun, we still held hands, went for dinner again. On the third date, we had long bear hugs, she allows me to stroke her face, we carry out eye gazing, which the woman enjoys. She also allows me to kiss her all over her face, cheeks, fondle and play with her hair, but when I go for the French Kiss, she pulls away. However she still maintained contact by text, so doesn't look like she was grossed out. On valentines day I took her out to dinner, I gave her a rose and a mug, which had something funny about musical notes (She plays a musical instrument) and her 2 chocolate favourite bars, which were wrapped in a ribbon and we went for a walk in a park where it was dark and romantic, In terms of kissing, same as above. She loved the gift and rose. In a few days time me and this lady are going go go on a day road trip to a historical city where there is site seeing and many activities to do. Usually, with other women I have dated in the past I have managed to French kiss them by the second date and with may couples things even more occurs. There has been many indicators of interest, like she texts me first and when I'm working she will text me like 4 to 5 times if I have not replied. we hold hand, and Im allowed to carry out the following in terms of touch and kissing as mentioned above, so I'm certainly not in the friendzone. She laughs at my jokes and we have have had extremely long telephone conversations one lasting up to 3 and a half hours till 2am. Also we have texted till like 3am. Can someone advise how to handle this situation in relation to the French Kissing. Thank you in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulOfOne Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 Well, maybe she equates French kissing with deeper sexual intimacy? She could be waiting. She could find it gross based on a previous experience. She may be thinks its too early. The bottom line is, unless you ask her, you won't know. And if you are close enough to kiss her face and fondle her hair, I'd assume you should be close enough to ask her for a kiss that way, or she should be adult enough to tell you why she's turned away from attempts. I dated a great guy for a long while. He was a bad kisser. Lol I learned to adapt and tell him what I preferred rather than a tongue shoved in my face. If he weren't receptive to that we would have never continued. 😉 I'd ask her gently. Maybe she just doesn't LIKE French kissing? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 1 minute ago, SoulOfOne said: Well, maybe she equates French kissing with deeper sexual intimacy? She could be waiting. She could find it gross based on a previous experience. She may be thinks its too early. The bottom line is, unless you ask her, you won't know. And if you are close enough to kiss her face and fondle her hair, I'd assume you should be close enough to ask her for a kiss that way, or she should be adult enough to tell you why she's turned away from attempts. I dated a great guy for a long while. He was a bad kisser. Lol I learned to adapt and tell him what I preferred rather than a tongue shoved in my face. If he weren't receptive to that we would have never continued. 😉 I'd ask her gently. Maybe she just doesn't LIKE French kissing? How do you word it in a non-needy and non-confrontational way? Should I wait a while and maybe build some rapport? Like this day trip we are going on, she is probably expecting me to try, so I will do the deviation from the expectation and not try and back off, if she wants it she has to come and get it as I'm the prize ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 "hey there. In the spirit of being transparent I wanted to ask you about something just so I could get a better understanding of how you're feeling about us. I've noticed that you rebuff any of my attempts to open mouth kiss. Is it because you're uncomfortable progressing that far? Or do I have bad breath? Or is open mouth kissing just not a thing for you? I'd really like to learn more so I can avoid making you feel uncomfortable." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 1 minute ago, Mrin said: "hey there. In the spirit of being transparent I wanted to ask you about something just so I could get a better understanding of how you're feeling about us. I've noticed that you rebuff any of my attempts to open mouth kiss. Is it because you're uncomfortable progressing that far? Or do I have bad breath? Or is open mouth kissing just not a thing for you? I'd really like to learn more so I can avoid making you feel uncomfortable." No on that day I actually was constantly spraying mouth freshener spray because of a toothache. No I have easily secured french kisses with other women int he past easily, so Im comfortable with it and absolutely love it. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulOfOne Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 Then maybe all of Mrin's suggestion but the bad breath thing. If you are certain it wasn't breath....although with a toothache, you may not be able to tell yourself if it affects your breath. There are things a breath freshener just slightly masks. Also note, kissing is subjective. What I find attractive and sweet or seductive may be totally different than the next girl. The man I thought was a bad kisser??? Nobody had told him that before. Many of us are just too nice sometimes. Since you've not kissed her yet, this wouldn't be the case. "I was wondering if you had aversion to me kissing you, or if French kissing makes you uncomfortable? I'd like to not offend you and would love to know what you prefer (we wait longer?) or if you just prefer not to, because I really respect you...." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 2 minutes ago, SoulOfOne said: Then maybe all of Mrin's suggestion but the bad breath thing. If you are certain it wasn't breath....although with a toothache, you may not be able to tell yourself if it affects your breath. There are things a breath freshener just slightly masks. Also note, kissing is subjective. What I find attractive and sweet or seductive may be totally different than the next girl. The man I thought was a bad kisser??? Nobody had told him that before. Many of us are just too nice sometimes. Since you've not kissed her yet, this wouldn't be the case. "I was wondering if you had aversion to me kissing you, or if French kissing makes you uncomfortable? I'd like to not offend you and would love to know what you prefer (we wait longer?) or if you just prefer not to, because I really respect you...." But she allows me to kiss her who face multiple times and she seems to love it, so wouldn't the bad breath show up. If the bad breath thing was an issue wouldnt she cut me off and stop contacting me. The tooth ache is actually not a cosmetic issue its a neurological issue, caused by Trigeminal Neuralgia. I forgot to mention she is Chinese and this is the first time I am dating a Chinese woman. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulOfOne Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 4 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: But she allows me to kiss her who face multiple times and she seems to love it, so wouldn't the bad breath show up. If the bad breath thing was an issue wouldnt she cut me off and stop contacting me. The tooth ache is actually not a cosmetic issue its a neurological issue, caused by Trigeminal Neuralgia. I forgot to mention she is Chinese and this is the first time I am dating a Chinese woman. Is she Culturally Chinese, American born?, adopted? I'm not Chinese, but am part Asian and in some cultures public displays of affection are just frowned upon. Also politeness is valued so it may be hard for her to SAY these things. Or straight up, she just may not be into French kissing you. Lots of factors at play. But the basic is, you won't know unless you ASK and if you are embarrassed to ask, you may not be ready to kiss her anyway. If it's important to you and she says "I don't wanna French kiss" then you have to decide what the dealbreaker is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 18 minutes ago, SoulOfOne said: Is she Culturally Chinese, American born?, adopted? I'm not Chinese, but am part Asian and in some cultures public displays of affection are just frowned upon. Also politeness is valued so it may be hard for her to SAY these things. Or straight up, she just may not be into French kissing you. Lots of factors at play. But the basic is, you won't know unless you ASK and if you are embarrassed to ask, you may not be ready to kiss her anyway. If it's important to you and she says "I don't wanna French kiss" then you have to decide what the dealbreaker is. No she was born and bred in Hong Kong, she immigrated to the UK and has been living in the UK for a year and a half. Ok but we walk holding hands so others would think we are a couple even though we only know each other for about months and allows the cuddling, eye gazing, kissing on her face and hands lol. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulOfOne Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 2 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: No she was born and bred in Hong Kong, she immigrated to the UK and has been living in the UK for a year and a half. Ok but we walk holding hands so others would think we are a couple even though we only know each other for about months and allows the cuddling, eye gazing, kissing on her face and hands lol. Again it's subjective but speaking as a woman, holding hands, gazing and kisses on face are less personal than an open mouthed kiss in my opinion. Go ahead and ask her. It may not be culturally appropriate to make out in public, and may be too soon to make out in private for her. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 I bet she thinks if she lets her guard down to french kiss it will lead to sex too quickly. She's just taking her time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 Just now, SoulOfOne said: Again it's subjective but speaking as a woman, holding hands, gazing and kisses on face are less personal than an open mouthed kiss in my opinion. Go ahead and ask her. It may not be culturally appropriate to make out in public, and may be too soon to make out in private for her. You are possibly right that she doesn't want to French Kiss/make out in public and do it in private. I suppose work with what I got to get the oxytocin, serotonin and love hormones working and strengthen that bond. I am going to give her a head, scalp and neck massage which she definitely likes as I have kissed her on the forehead and scalp and she loves that. When we are sitting on a bench she lean on me when I place my arm around her. She allows me to place her forehead on her forehead and nuzzle with her nose. Could ask her, maybe be jokey and light-hearted about it. Trying to think how to word it, maybe thats my homework for tonight lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 6 minutes ago, smackie9 said: I bet she thinks if she lets her guard down to french kiss it will lead to sex too quickly. She's just taking her time. Yes you have a valid point, wait till the bedroom when that time comes and respect her decision, do other things she likes as i mentioned in the previous post, and once it gets to the bedroom she will unleash it and things will get hot and spicy like a nick nack, a nick nick paddy wack. Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 (edited) I sometimes kiss her and press her nose and make a horn sound which she finds finds funny. so I just got to be more creative and come up with more ideas. Edited February 20, 2023 by petrolheadno1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 I mean, is it really that shocking that different people enjoy different things? You like french kissing. It seems like she doesn't. If that is a big deal for you, maybe you're just incompatible? It's also possible that she's not comfortable french kissing YET (but might be in the future), so it might be worth just asking her? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 18 minutes ago, Els said: I mean, is it really that shocking that different people enjoy different things? You like french kissing. It seems like she doesn't. If that is a big deal for you, maybe you're just incompatible? It's also possible that she's not comfortable french kissing YET (but might be in the future), so it might be worth just asking her? It would be strange for someone to not like french kissing, how would you initiate foreplay during sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 2 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: It would be strange for someone to not like french kissing, how would you initiate foreplay during sex? You can kiss without tongue, or you can kiss them in places other than the mouth, or you can caress them in those places, or you could go down on them, or...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 3 minutes ago, Els said: You can kiss without tongue, or you can kiss them in places other than the mouth, or you can caress them in those places, or you could go down on them, or...? Hmm doesn't feel the same Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 2 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: Hmm doesn't feel the same Okay, so clearly this wouldn't work for you. Sounds like you're incompatible then? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 4 minutes ago, Els said: Okay, so clearly this wouldn't work for you. Sounds like you're incompatible then? To be honest this is the first time I'm hearing this. Oh well. Summer's coming up I can kiss her feet on the beach as I have a foot fetish lol. Els whats your opinion on this. When I am going on a day trip I was going to surprise her by painting her nails. So I have bought the nail care kit, file, buffer, base coat, a couple of coloured nail polish and top coat. I asked her if she likes to paint her nails she said she used to when she was a kid. So I thought I'd surprise her and do it for her. I have known her since late December, we text a lot, she messages me a lot first. and this is our 4th date. Should I do this or would she be weirded out? I have told her I sleep in the nude lol and engaged in other inuuendos and shes laughed. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 3 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: To be honest this is the first time I'm hearing this. Oh well. Summer's coming up I can kiss her feet on the beach as I have a foot fetish lol. Els whats your opinion on this. When I am going on a day trip I was going to surprise her by painting her nails. So I have bought the nail care kit, file, buffer, base coat, a couple of coloured nail polish and top coat. I asked her if she likes to paint her nails she said she used to when she was a kid. So I thought I'd surprise her and do it for her. I have known her since late December, we text a lot, she messages me a lot first. and this is our 4th date. Should I do this or would she be weirded out? Lol!! Errmmm, probably a bit off-topic, but my husband has done this for me before and I loved it. Might be a good idea to buy a few different colours so she can pick the one she likes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 18 minutes ago, Els said: Lol!! Errmmm, probably a bit off-topic, but my husband has done this for me before and I loved it. Might be a good idea to buy a few different colours so she can pick the one she likes. and Ill give her the items I bought and said right, your challenge is to do your toe nails? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 3 hours ago, petrolheadno1 said: No on that day I actually was constantly spraying mouth freshener spray because of a toothache. No I have easily secured french kisses with other women int he past easily, so Im comfortable with it and absolutely love it. No no. I mean that was my suggestion to you to say to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 39 minutes ago, petrolheadno1 said: To be honest this is the first time I'm hearing this. Oh well. Summer's coming up I can kiss her feet on the beach as I have a foot fetish lol. Els whats your opinion on this. When I am going on a day trip I was going to surprise her by painting her nails. So I have bought the nail care kit, file, buffer, base coat, a couple of coloured nail polish and top coat. I asked her if she likes to paint her nails she said she used to when she was a kid. So I thought I'd surprise her and do it for her. I have known her since late December, we text a lot, she messages me a lot first. and this is our 4th date. Should I do this or would she be weirded out? I have told her I sleep in the nude lol and engaged in other inuuendos and shes laughed. This is not a "just whip it out" sort of activity. If you want to do this, give her a heads up ahead of time. I mean even if she is totally down with it she will want to get her feet looking good for this date ahead of time. The last thing you want is her sitting there the whole time thinking, "I really should have taken care of those calluses" instead of enjoying it. Overall, I think it would be a little much for a 4th when you haven't even swapped saliva. Also: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author petrolheadno1 Posted February 20, 2023 Author Share Posted February 20, 2023 (edited) No so I will only ask to paint her nails. It is going to be 9 degrees celsius so I am not going to expect her to get her feet out. I will ask her if she is going to play the flute soon as that is not good if you have painted nails, if she says no, then ill get the kit out and say "I would like to paint your nails, bring back your childhood days" she has like over 10 teddy bears and plays and sleeps with them she is 37 lol. I will give her choice, but I will say "I think your hands will look pretty. She cuts her nails always short and she files them perfectly rounded. Edited February 20, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts