Just went on first proper date since breakup. it didn't go well!

[basil67]

14 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I’ve checked and I have to pay for disposal if she doesn’t pick up. 

If the outcome is that she doesn't pick up, you might be better off advertising them for free in a 'pay it forward' or 'buy nothing new' group on Facebook.   Or if you can fit them in your car, take them to a charity store.   Either way, consider saving yourself the money and allowing them to have a second life with someone who wants them.

[IrinaM]

Lamron I find your posts confusing. Weren't you already broken up when she texted her ex?

Also, the details of the breakup (texting ex) don't really matter in regards to her living situation or employment. Was she literally on your payroll, or did you just throw her some cash every now and then for doing odd jobs? If you were actually her employer, paying unemployment insurance etc., issuing a W2, you need to formally terminate the employee/employer relationship. But it sounds to me (from your description) like she was just unskilled labor that you didn't even need-so it's confusing the nature of her employment.

Also, did she literally live at your home, as in, receive mail there and also have your address on her driver's license? Again, if so, you need to formally terminate that. You need to contact yourself and give her a reasonable way to gather her belongings.

It just seems so odd to me that this woman who supposedly lived in your home and worked for you could just walk out the door and that's that. If she did, it seems like she didn't really have any roots or formal commitment with you.

I don't know how you are supposed to solve the issue of her "things in storage." But it is your responsibility to work out something reasonable. You can't just trash her stuff because the relationship didn't work out. And you can't just wait for her to take the initiative. Think of a reasonable solution that is fair to both of you, and then be proactive about it.

[basil67]

On 2/22/2023 at 11:19 AM, Lamron300 said:

My ex partner manipulated me and cheated on me and the whole relationship was rather unpleasant and unhappy.

@IrinaM is right.   I took your statement about being cheated on at face value.  But going back to your previous thread, it appears you have no evidence to support this.  The only thing you do have is history of a problematic ex being in contact.  And it's pretty poor form to throw her out without even a day's notice.   You've got a lot of complaints about her, and yes some of it quite legitimate, but from what I read you also stoked some fires there yourself.

Now you're in a situation where you're consumed by anger and hatred because of nothing more than assumptions on your part. This is spilling over into what should be a fresh start and ruining it for you.  Kindly, your anger really is out of proportion.  I hope you're working on it in therapy so that you can start over without your temper spoiling your dating or relationships.

 

Edited March 4, 2023 by basil67

[Lamron300]

7 hours ago, IrinaM said:

Lamron I find your posts confusing. Weren't you already broken up when she texted her ex?

Also, the details of the breakup (texting ex) don't really matter in regards to her living situation or employment. Was she literally on your payroll, or did you just throw her some cash every now and then for doing odd jobs? If you were actually her employer, paying unemployment insurance etc., issuing a W2, you need to formally terminate the employee/employer relationship. But it sounds to me (from your description) like she was just unskilled labor that you didn't even need-so it's confusing the nature of her employment.

Also, did she literally live at your home, as in, receive mail there and also have your address on her driver's license? Again, if so, you need to formally terminate that. You need to contact yourself and give her a reasonable way to gather her belongings.

It just seems so odd to me that this woman who supposedly lived in your home and worked for you could just walk out the door and that's that. If she did, it seems like she didn't really have any roots or formal commitment with you.

I don't know how you are supposed to solve the issue of her "things in storage." But it is your responsibility to work out something reasonable. You can't just trash her stuff because the relationship didn't work out. And you can't just wait for her to take the initiative. Think of a reasonable solution that is fair to both of you, and then be proactive about it.

No we weren’t broken up. First time it happened was July 2022. I wanted to break up with her but she convinced me he had contacted her out of the blue and she would delete and block him. I then caught her with her phone on airplane mode which she denied she knew what it was. She later admitted she didn’t want me to see the texting as I was would her hurt.

On the day of the breakup she was messaging him. I asked who is calling she said her friend Emily, then she said it’s people for a job and then when I tried come closer that’s when she admitted. So it’s not that 1 instance it has been a while. 
 

She was on the payroll (no contract but payslips processed by accountant ) and I have terminated that and taking her off house stuff. 
 

it wasn’t just the cheating it was a lot of other mental abuse I couldn’t take anymore. We just weren’t the right fit and unfortunately she had made herself financially dependent on me so she stayed.

[Lamron300]

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

@IrinaM is right.   I took your statement about being cheated on at face value.  But going back to your previous thread, it appears you have no evidence to support this.  The only thing you do have is history of a problematic ex being in contact.  And it's pretty poor form to throw her out without even a day's notice.   You've got a lot of complaints about her, and yes some of it quite legitimate, but from what I read you also stoked some fires there yourself.

Now you're in a situation where you're consumed by anger and hatred because of nothing more than assumptions on your part. This is spilling over into what should be a fresh start and ruining it for you.  Kindly, your anger really is out of proportion.  I hope you're working on it in therapy so that you can start over without your temper spoiling your dating or relationships.

 

I’ve responded to @IrinaM I can’t put all the reasons and things she did on here so I gave the short version.

Could you please stop saying I’m consumed by hatred? I don’t even wish her good or bad I just want her out of my life. I wouldn’t say I hate her as that means I’m actively thinking about her and wanting her downfall. She could be anywhere in the world right now, I couldn’t care less. I just want her to collect her stuff. 

This isn’t an assumption, it’s fact the things she did. She did more things than cheating (physical things) which I got used to. 

[basil67]

@Lamron300 I read your response to Irina.  Yes, I understand that she lied about contacting her ex and that the relationship was volatile (from both sides, going by what you wrote in your previous thread).  But you've still not disclosed anything which proves she was cheating. 

I'm sorry I used the phrase "consumed by hatred".  I used the wrong term and I apologise.    What I should have written is that you're consumed by anger. Anger at your ex, at yourself, at the time wasted by going on a single date which didn't work out, at the fact that you may spend time meeting someone who doesn't feel the same as you and because OLD doesn't give you guarantees.  You're really not in the right headspace to be dating.  And if you did find someone who may fit well, your currently level of intensity could scare her off.  

Kindly, I suggest you take a break.  Get your head back into a space where you're calm and easy going....and the pieces will fall into place far more easily.

[Lamron300]

54 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@Lamron300 I read your response to Irina.  Yes, I understand that she lied about contacting her ex and that the relationship was volatile (from both sides, going by what you wrote in your previous thread).  But you've still not disclosed anything which proves she was cheating. 

I'm sorry I used the phrase "consumed by hatred".  I used the wrong term and I apologise.    What I should have written is that you're consumed by anger. Anger at your ex, at yourself, at the time wasted by going on a single date which didn't work out, at the fact that you may spend time meeting someone who doesn't feel the same as you and because OLD doesn't give you guarantees.  You're really not in the right headspace to be dating.  And if you did find someone who may fit well, your currently level of intensity could scare her off.  

Kindly, I suggest you take a break.  Get your head back into a space where you're calm and easy going....and the pieces will fall into place far more easily.

Contacting her ex is cheating. Even if that’s all she did although I suspect she did more. I’m not obsessing over the fact as it doesn’t really matter does it, the trust was broken on at least 3 occasions. As I said, I haven’t spoken about everything as I didn’t intend to speak about her much in this thread. Every argument she would pack her bags as a show then say she really wasn’t going to go she wanted a reaction. 
 

You’re right, but this is more than about a single date, it’s 10 years of OLD and meeting the same people and making the same mistakes. How is it a relationship from 6 years ago was exactly the same as my ex. They both had low libidos which they lied about, both lied about texting their ex’s and both were very stingy. I’m not here to assassinate anyone’s character I’m here to reflect my frustration on things that keep happening. 
 

Most of my friends have given up on OLD. What I’m saying is I want to meet people more naturally, but it isn’t simple. 
 

I took on board the advice about getting to know people not trying to impress on a date and also vetting people, then I get accused of being shallow. I had one lady tell me she’s been off work for months with an illness and every sentence was just something negative and depressive. I had another lady who I enjoyed talking to but I realised she just wanted validation for her weight gain. I am trying to avoid people when I see red flags. You keep telling me my breakup is a red flag and putting anger on me which isn’t there. All I want is her to collect her stuff and go our separate ways. I don’t hold any interest in her life going forward. But the fact she pretended to give the keys back shows what kind of person she is. 
 

 

[glows]

I must have missed it. Who called you shallow? Was it here in this thread on this forum? I haven’t logged on in a few days so just catching up here.

I just wanted to jump in for a second and mention that dating can be helpful in resetting in the sense that you’re meeting new people and sort of jump starting that new mindframe. The first couple of dates can be rough! All very natural in the state of things and some might prefer not to at all because life may be too unsettled. It doesn’t always work and I was concerned earlier that you’re fully invested and actually trying to find a serious, long term, committed relationship.

I believe Versace and Basil hit the nail on the head as this could end up having the adverse effect where you’re setting yourself up for high expectations only to feel bitter about OLD or dating in general. I’m genuinely surprised that you asked me earlier why someone would draw back from a man who is still tying up loose ends with an ex.

OLD is a whole other topic - agree with you there about a lot of different kinds as the pool is widened. The older you are the less and less appealing it seems as it is extremely time consuming reviewing profiles, for one (I don’t know who has time or interest doing this- I don’t). You can flip through hundreds and spend the time dressing up and commuting as you were speaking about and still find out it’s not a match.

I fully believe that all things are a process. Nothing is very stagnant or stationary. Breakups and healing are very much a process and we can go about it in different ways. 

Planning to email her is a start but like I said it’s been a few days since I logged on.. just curious if you’ve emailed her? If you have, great! Has she responded? Either way we are here to support and be a sounding board. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable dating with the mindset of finding a committed relationship in your situation but I do see the positives in meeting new people.

Edited March 4, 2023 by glows

[Alpacalia]

I would spend less time expending emotional energy trying to convince your girlfriend that your decisions are right and defending them. Whether or not she cheated on you will not resolve until you are emotionally further removed from this incident than you are right now, regardless of whether you believe she cheated on you or not.

It is best to just stick to tying up loose ends at this point. There is no longer a relationship. It is over.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Lamron300]

5 hours ago, glows said:

I must have missed it. Who called you shallow? Was it here in this thread on this forum? I haven’t logged on in a few days so just catching up here.

I just wanted to jump in for a second and mention that dating can be helpful in resetting in the sense that you’re meeting new people and sort of jump starting that new mindframe. The first couple of dates can be rough! All very natural in the state of things and some might prefer not to at all because life may be too unsettled. It doesn’t always work and I was concerned earlier that you’re fully invested and actually trying to find a serious, long term, committed relationship.

I believe Versace and Basil hit the nail on the head as this could end up having the adverse effect where you’re setting yourself up for high expectations only to feel bitter about OLD or dating in general. I’m genuinely surprised that you asked me earlier why someone would draw back from a man who is still tying up loose ends with an ex.

OLD is a whole other topic - agree with you there about a lot of different kinds as the pool is widened. The older you are the less and less appealing it seems as it is extremely time consuming reviewing profiles, for one (I don’t know who has time or interest doing this- I don’t). You can flip through hundreds and spend the time dressing up and commuting as you were speaking about and still find out it’s not a match.

I fully believe that all things are a process. Nothing is very stagnant or stationary. Breakups and healing are very much a process and we can go about it in different ways. 

Planning to email her is a start but like I said it’s been a few days since I logged on.. just curious if you’ve emailed her? If you have, great! Has she responded? Either way we are here to support and be a sounding board. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable dating with the mindset of finding a committed relationship in your situation but I do see the positives in meeting new people.

Yes, it was in this thread, I won't mention the user by name but the post is up.

I want your advice please. My date for tonight has just messaged me, literally 5 minutes before we were supposed to meet 'I fell asleep and just woke up- quite disoriented, are you free tuesday instead?' I had cancelled my other plans for tonight to go on this date and to say you fell asleep! I'm guessing to just block and move on? This is what I mean, OLD is too unpredictable.

[glows]

14 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

Yes, it was in this thread, I won't mention the user by name but the post is up.

I want your advice please. My date for tonight has just messaged me, literally 5 minutes before we were supposed to meet 'I fell asleep and just woke up- quite disoriented, are you free tuesday instead?' I had cancelled my other plans for tonight to go on this date and to say you fell asleep! I'm guessing to just block and move on? This is what I mean, OLD is too unpredictable.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Have you met this person already and how did it go? I’m not sure I’d delete and block so quickly. Does this person work a lot or have kids? Then again she could have been pulling a fast one and going out with someone else, trying to get out of tonight.

I’d think about it for a day and then tomorrow when less upset about it I’d make a decision. For now I would reply, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll let you know about Tuesday.”

 

[Lamron300]

2 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I would spend less time expending emotional energy trying to convince your girlfriend that your decisions are right and defending them. Whether or not she cheated on you will not resolve until you are emotionally further removed from this incident than you are right now, regardless of whether you believe she cheated on you or not.

It is best to just stick to tying up loose ends at this point. There is no longer a relationship. It is over.

I need to put her sofa, computer and mirror in storage and thats the last of the stuff. I don't want to spend Sunday doing that, but I have no other choice. I just want a complete clean break and I just really hope once I send her the email and the storage company that she collects her stuff.

What would you do about the date that cancelled tonight? Never happened before. She has apologised twice, but for me it isn't really acceptable. We spoke at 1pm, she knew the date was 7/8pm (her choice of time) to casually say you fell asleep and laugh it off and then suggest a weekday (which is very busy) just annoyed me. I'm not trying to force a connection with anyone but this feels quite disrespectful and I don't know enough about her to know if its the truth she is telling me. She has told me her life is a '****show' but I don't know what she means by that, I thought it was just self-depreciating humour. I made time for this so to cancel at the last second is inconvenient. Should I just forget about OLD ? My friend told me this week that it was a waste of time.

[Lamron300]

42 minutes ago, glows said:

I’m so sorry to hear this. Have you met this person already and how did it go? I’m not sure I’d delete and block so quickly. Does this person work a lot or have kids? Then again she could have been pulling a fast one and going out with someone else, trying to get out of tonight.

I’d think about it for a day and then tomorrow when less upset about it I’d make a decision. For now I would reply, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll let you know about Tuesday.”

 

No, this would have been the first meeting. I was going to go to a retro games night and cancelled because of the date. She then messaged me she fell asleep literally 9 minutes before we were supposed to meet. There is no way I am rearranging for Tuesday. She then proceeded to carry on the Convo causally like everything was okay. This hasn’t happened in ten years!

She doesn’t have kids. Not sure about work but she wasn’t working today.

[glows]

You have to take more ownership here of the fact that you cancelled a retro games night where you might have known you’d have more fun than going on a date with a virtual stranger and the risk of a cancel or no show. 

When you date go into it thinking everyone is a total stranger and they don’t owe you anything. I would never cancel other plans to meet a stranger. If the person isn’t available or rarely available when you are you already know there’s a scheduling/compatibility issue. 

What I’m trying to say is avoid overreacting like this to someone’s cancel. If you felt you missed out on something fun like retro games night that’s really on you. You made that decision although why can’t you go anyway and change your mind? Is there a wait list or something for games night? 

[Lamron300]

10 minutes ago, glows said:

You have to take more ownership here of the fact that you cancelled a retro games night where you might have known you’d have more fun than going on a date with a virtual stranger and the risk of a cancel or no show. 

When you date go into it thinking everyone is a total stranger and they don’t owe you anything. I would never cancel other plans to meet a stranger. If the person isn’t available or rarely available when you are you already know there’s a scheduling/compatibility issue. 

What I’m trying to say is avoid overreacting like this to someone’s cancel. If you felt you missed out on something fun like retro games night that’s really on you. You made that decision although why can’t you go anyway and change your mind? Is there a wait list or something for games night? 

The retro games night is with strangers also, a local meet up. It’s on quite regularly I assume. I think it’s something that would be better midweek than a Saturday night. I’ve never in ten years had a no show or cancellation, so it’s not something I could have anticipated. If that is the case then every date I would have a backup plan. 

It’s not really an overreaction as it hasn’t happened before and to so casually apologise and think I would reschedule again. Things happen but saying she fell asleep is a bit of a lame excuse. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Lamron300

[glows]

Just now, Lamron300 said:

The retro games night is with strangers also, a local meet up. It’s on quite regularly I assume. I think it’s something that would be better midweek than a Saturday night.

It’s not really an overreaction as it hasn’t happened before and to so casually apologise and think I would reschedule again. Things happen but saying she fell asleep is a bit of a lame excuse. 

I’m here to tell you that it happens quite often unfortunately. Be prepared that it can happen again. This is part of the risk in online dating. Think of all of them as complete strangers. This isn’t a business appointment or a meeting with clients looking to you for expert advice or services. These are all randoms who may in be in all kinds of mental/emotional states and seeking companionship, sex or relationships for their own means and private purpose. It’s no hands, ma. 

If you can’t be moved or not that interested anyway in the games night on a Saturday night like tonight then why bring it up anyway. In actuality you didn’t really have any other plans or weren’t interested in doing much else. Yes, it’s upsetting when someone cancels last minute but let this roll off your back. If you don’t feel comfortable meeting her again then block and delete. Nothing wrong with that either. 

[basil67]

5 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

The retro games night is with strangers also, a local meet up. It’s on quite regularly I assume. I think it’s something that would be better midweek than a Saturday night. I’ve never in ten years had a no show or cancellation, so it’s not something I could have anticipated. If that is the case then every date I would have a backup plan. 

It’s not really an overreaction as it hasn’t happened before and to so casually apologise and think I would reschedule again. Things happen but saying she fell asleep is a bit of a lame excuse. 

On the scale of reactions, I would expect this to be an annoyance.   And yes, if it were me, I'd block them.   If a grown adult can't use an alarm to wake from a nap, then I'd not be interested.

And I agree that you shouldn't have cancelled the retro night for a date with a stranger.  Only cancel something if you really didn't care about going in the first place.

[Lamron300]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

On the scale of reactions, I would expect this to be an annoyance.   And yes, if it were me, I'd block them.   If a grown adult can't use an alarm to wake from a nap, then I'd not be interested.

And I agree that you shouldn't have cancelled the retro night for a date with a stranger.  Only cancel something if you really didn't care about going in the first place.

I was tired after Jiu Jitsu this morning, I napped and set an alarm to wake up. Showered and got ready. The excuse is pathetic. I think this is why OLD won’t work for me. You can’t really gauge people, I would classify her as a time waster. I’ve ceased communication with her and certainly won’t reschedule.

The retro games night is with strangers and is on quite regularly so I thought I’d move that. I’d been speaking to my ‘date’ for a week as she was on holiday so I took peoples advice to meet as soon as possible which was today. She suggested day and time. Even if I didn’t have plans, it’s still impacted my day.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Lamron300 said:

I was tired after Jiu Jitsu this morning, I napped and set an alarm to wake up. Showered and got ready. The excuse is pathetic. I think this is why OLD won’t work for me. You can’t really gauge people, I would classify her as a time waster. I’ve ceased communication with her and certainly won’t reschedule.

The retro games night is with strangers and is on quite regularly so I thought I’d move that. I’d been speaking to my ‘date’ for a week as she was on holiday so I took peoples advice to meet as soon as possible which was today. She suggested day and time. Even if I didn’t have plans, it’s still impacted my day.

I agree that OLD won't work for you while you're in your current state of mind.  

OLD can be really good, really bad or middling.  To be able to deal with this, one needs to be pretty chill so that they can roll with the punches.    Perhaps in a bit of time when you're feeling more chill, it could work.  

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I need to put her sofa, computer and mirror in storage and thats the last of the stuff. I don't want to spend Sunday doing that, but I have no other choice. I just want a complete clean break and I just really hope once I send her the email and the storage company that she collects her stuff.

What would you do about the date that cancelled tonight? Never happened before. She has apologised twice, but for me it isn't really acceptable. We spoke at 1pm, she knew the date was 7/8pm (her choice of time) to casually say you fell asleep and laugh it off and then suggest a weekday (which is very busy) just annoyed me. I'm not trying to force a connection with anyone but this feels quite disrespectful and I don't know enough about her to know if its the truth she is telling me. She has told me her life is a '****show' but I don't know what she means by that, I thought it was just self-depreciating humour. I made time for this so to cancel at the last second is inconvenient. Should I just forget about OLD ? My friend told me this week that it was a waste of time.

Hope it goes well and she collects her belongings in a reasonable timeframe and then you can close this chapter.

Cancelling a few hours before a date because she fell asleep and laughed it off is inconsiderate.

I think though, that's the nature of online dating. 

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say back, go with your gut, and answer in a way that aligns with what you’re looking for. 

 

 

[justwhoiam]

On 2/27/2023 at 11:20 AM, Lamron300 said:

What do you mean by cues?

Non verbal language, or body language.

[justwhoiam]

14 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I took on board the advice about getting to know people not trying to impress on a date and also vetting people, then I get accused of being shallow.

You wrote:

"she doesn't feel confident as she has put on weight in the last year. All her OLD pictures are just face shots. My dilemma is I like her as a person but do I really know her? do you just accept red flags for what they are? I don't want to get invested in people only for disappointment."

Because of your above comments, it seemed that your possible disappointment could stem from her figure. How do you know if someone's worth it? I think that would depend on her qualities such as her nature, personality, generosity, patience, and compatibiity with you, not based on her body (considering you like her face anyway), so I wrote:

Quote

When you mentioned a woman being into you but warning you she put on some weight, you sounded quite shallow.

You then repeated the word "shallow" in other posts. Do you get obsessive thoughts that you don't seem to be able to get off your head?

Are you on meds post breakup?

Anyway, have you thought of contacting law enforcement to know how to best deal with your situation? I'd guess they'd gladly give you instructions on how to do it according to law. You could also say you'd rather not deal with her directly anymore as you don't trust the person, and they might contact her. If they do contact her, get any answer they receive in writing, so that you are relieved from any obligation.

Did that ex-gf enter your country expressly to be with you, or was she already there?

My best advice to you right now is stop going into London to get to know women, your location seems to be a hassle and you openly said you don't want to do all the effort. I'd expect many women - right because they live in a city with lots of public transport - not to have a car or a driving licence. And you can't ask them to come to you traveling alone at night just because you want it to be even between the two of you. I'd want my boyfriend to be a gentleman, while your priority is that it's not everything on you. Do you see the problem there? So try to find women locally.

[justwhoiam]

Another thing I could suggest is, do you know any place where they have a speed date night? If so, give it a try. It could give you some insight about the kind of interest you can draw in person vs online.

I found this website: https://www.originaldating.com/speed-dating-uk/london-areas

They hold speed date nights in person, virtual speed date events, where you can talk one on one through video from the comfort of your home, and even parties attended by up to 300 people. All of that is good to get to know more people and maybe make some (new) friends.

[Lamron300]

9 hours ago, justwhoiam said:

You wrote:

"she doesn't feel confident as she has put on weight in the last year. All her OLD pictures are just face shots. My dilemma is I like her as a person but do I really know her? do you just accept red flags for what they are? I don't want to get invested in people only for disappointment."

Because of your above comments, it seemed that your possible disappointment could stem from her figure. How do you know if someone's worth it? I think that would depend on her qualities such as her nature, personality, generosity, patience, and compatibiity with you, not based on her body (considering you like her face anyway), so I wrote:

You then repeated the word "shallow" in other posts. Do you get obsessive thoughts that you don't seem to be able to get off your head?

Are you on meds post breakup?

Anyway, have you thought of contacting law enforcement to know how to best deal with your situation? I'd guess they'd gladly give you instructions on how to do it according to law. You could also say you'd rather not deal with her directly anymore as you don't trust the person, and they might contact her. If they do contact her, get any answer they receive in writing, so that you are relieved from any obligation.

Did that ex-gf enter your country expressly to be with you, or was she already there?

My best advice to you right now is stop going into London to get to know women, your location seems to be a hassle and you openly said you don't want to do all the effort. I'd expect many women - right because they live in a city with lots of public transport - not to have a car or a driving licence. And you can't ask them to come to you traveling alone at night just because you want it to be even between the two of you. I'd want my boyfriend to be a gentleman, while your priority is that it's not everything on you. Do you see the problem there? So try to find women locally.

No I don’t get obsessive thoughts, please don’t try and gaslight me. I am not shallow for having preferences. My issue with her is she is work obsessed (more than me) and is online just for validation. Wanted to chat on end without meeting. 

She was in the country ten years before she met me. She was renting her own flat and had been a manager in a store for ten years. After lockdown she decided she didn’t want to do that job anymore and cried and begged to work with me even though my business had just started and I didn’t have a role for her. She said she didn’t want to speak to clients so I just had to dictate notes to her and get her to take photos whilst I inspected the houses. Things are a lot easier now I’m on my own.
 

I am going to try and get the storage company to contact her before getting law enforcement involved. What keeps delaying things is I solid rather not spend most of today packing her remaining 3 things. I want to go to the gym and tidy the house. 
 

I don’t mind going into London, I lived there most of my life so it’s not like I’ve got suggestions of where to go near me. I just want it to be acknowledged at some point, they’ll have to come closer here to meet at times. I own my own house, I’m not sure how I would feel if someone lives with their parents. I haven’t even thought of that. It may be okay, may not be. 

[Lamron300]

9 hours ago, justwhoiam said:

Another thing I could suggest is, do you know any place where they have a speed date night? If so, give it a try. It could give you some insight about the kind of interest you can draw in person vs online.

I found this website: https://www.originaldating.com/speed-dating-uk/london-areas

They hold speed date nights in person, virtual speed date events, where you can talk one on one through video from the comfort of your home, and even parties attended by up to 300 people. All of that is good to get to know more people and maybe make some (new) friends.

Thank you for this.