Are these signs a man is interested or just being friendly.

[Kassieee]

At a party scenario, he goes out of his way to attend to you, meaning giving you drinks and wants to be around you, keeps asking if you want anything. Seems to want to be around you. But outside of a party scenario, he doesn't talk to you, in a group setting with mutual friends, he doesn't say a word. 

Even his gf notices and makes a comment about it. (Always wanting to be around me during her bday party)

 

Edited February 24, 2023 by justaskingok
....editing sent accidentally

[Kassieee]

Socially awkward probs.

[basil67]

Well he clearly he doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend respectfully.  But I don't imagine he's got a crush on you or else he'd seek you out all the time.  

What do you think about it?

[Kassieee]

He only seeks me out when he's got that liquid courage it seems. I've been told he's a shy person in general.

It quite embarrassing...everyone's under the impression that he's hitting on me and I had to defend him and say he's just being friendly. Everyone just sides eye him when he comes around me. 

He said something about liking something in general about girls and his girlfriend tripped out and said " what girl, what girl"?? While eyeing me. And I had to ease the situation and say he's talking in general.

I think he maybe socially awkward.

I don't think he would be bold enough to seek me out other than under the influence....he shares a whole house with this girl...he can't afford to mess up.

Edited February 24, 2023 by justaskingok

[Kassieee]

And what the heck. It always seem to be ones with girlfriends that put me in a weird position.

I went to play pool and had a man constantly hit on me, his girlfriend had to apologize on his behalf!!!!!! 

[Lotsgoingon]

The question you ask is irrelevant. You merely observe the behavior and if it is strange, you note it. No need to think further.

The only question is whether YOU like him--that's the only important question. 

For the record, his behavior is weird. He might be "secretly" attracted to you. He doesn't say anything but he attends to you. In a bigger group, he might be nervous about talking to you. So yes, he could have a crush that he doesn't know how to handle. But that's a guess. 

The important point is that his behavior doesn't make you feel good. 

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

The question you ask is irrelevant. You merely observe the behavior and if it is strange, you note it. No need to think further.

The only question is whether YOU like him--that's the only important question. 

For the record, his behavior is weird. He might be "secretly" attracted to you. He doesn't say anything but he attends to you. In a bigger group, he might be nervous about talking to you. So yes, he could have a crush that he doesn't know how to handle. But that's a guess. 

The important point is that his behavior doesn't make you feel good. 

Are you asking me if I like him? or is it just a thought you want me to think about.

[Lotsgoingon]

I'm saying you don't even need to ask the question of his feelings unless YOU like him. 

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

I'm saying you don't even need to ask the question of his feelings unless YOU like him. 

Ohhhhh gotcha

[Lotsgoingon]

I think he has a secret crush on you that surprises him and he doesn't know what to do with it. He may not be aware that he's so crushing. And he'd definitely deny it. But there is something he really likes about you. Just randomly in life, we encounter people who just knock us off our balance. I tend to avoid these people, especially if I'm involved with someone. 

And you? ... about him? You feel ....? And how does the attention feel? Attention can feel good--even when it's kinda awkward. 

[Alpacalia]

The behavior you described could indicate that the man is interested in you, but it's important to consider other factors as well. It's possible that he simply enjoys your company in a party setting or that he is naturally outgoing and friendly. It's also possible that he may be interested in you but feels shy or unsure about how to approach you in a group setting.

Regardless, it's important to respect his relationship with his girlfriend and not assume that his behavior necessarily indicates romantic interest.

He's not seeking you outside of the group setting, so there's that too.

[Kassieee]

1 minute ago, Lotsgoingon said:

I think he has a secret crush on you that surprises him and he doesn't know what to do with it. He may not be aware that he's so crushing. And he'd definitely deny it. But there is something he really likes about you. Just randomly in life, we encounter people who just knock us off our balance. I tend to avoid these people, especially if I'm involved with someone. 

And you? ... about him? You feel ....? And how does the attention feel? Attention can feel good--even when it's kinda awkward. 

Why do you avoid these people other than already being with someone?

Attention only feels good when it's from someone you like, full stop- for me anyway. I like his girlfriend, she got us and another girl tickets to a concert. She's nice to me. He's just there, I dont like him or dislike him...i think he's just awkward, he's attracted to me in some way, maybe he just likes my vibe, which I can roll with but everyone is feeling awkward. 

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

The behavior you described could indicate that the man is interested in you, but it's important to consider other factors as well. It's possible that he simply enjoys your company in a party setting or that he is naturally outgoing and friendly. It's also possible that he may be interested in you but feels shy or unsure about how to approach you in a group setting.

Regardless, it's important to respect his relationship with his girlfriend and not assume that his behavior necessarily indicates romantic interest.

He's not seeking you outside of the group setting, so there's that too.

That's what I'm feeling too. 

He's socially awkward and feels compelled to me only when he is drunk. We go to a soccer game to watch our mutual friend play, he will say hi to everyone else but me. He's completely cold to me when sober but drunk he wants to be near me.

[Alpacalia]

27 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

That's what I'm feeling too. 

He's socially awkward and feels compelled to me only when he is drunk. We go to a soccer game to watch our mutual friend play, he will say hi to everyone else but me. He's completely cold to me when sober but drunk he wants to be near me.

There can be various reasons why he is flirting with you, such as boredom in his current relationship, finding you attractive, or having a fickle personality. 

While it's true that his girlfriend is the same every day of the week, it doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to leave their relationship. In fact, deep down, he may know that his girlfriend is the one for him.

However, sometimes he may crave something new and exciting in his life. That's where flirting with you comes in as the "new thing" that adds some spice to his routine.

But just because he is flirting with you doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to take things further or leave his girlfriend. He may be content with the excitement that flirting with you brings without wanting to take any action beyond that.

Just because he is flirting with you does not necessarily mean he likes you or views you as girlfriend material. Being someone else's sidepiece is not something anyone should aspire to.

Women generally expect the person who is flirting with them to be single and loyal, so it is natural to question the guy's motives and character. He may be flirting with you casually or trying to seek something more out of it.

The attention might be interesting, but his values are out of alignment with what he says and does.

There is trouble in saying one thing and doing another. Hot with you one minute, cold the next.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, justaskingok said:

 He's completely cold to me when sober but drunk he wants to be near me.

You're right. You need to avoid guys who get sloppy and flirty when drunk. Just excuse yourself, walk away and mingle with others.

[JTSW]

He has a gf so it doesn't matter if he likes you or not.

Stay away from them and don't let him seek you out at parties.

[Kassieee]

23 minutes ago, JTSW said:

He has a gf so it doesn't matter if he likes you or not.

Stay away from them and don't let him seek you out at parties.

If we are invited to the same parties and games, I will go. If that's what you mean by staying away from them.

If they have issues with me they can stay away from me.

[Kassieee]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

You're right. You need to avoid guys who get sloppy and flirty when drunk. Just excuse yourself, walk away and mingle with others.

 

3 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

There can be various reasons why he is flirting with you, such as boredom in his current relationship, finding you attractive, or having a fickle personality. 

While it's true that his girlfriend is the same every day of the week, it doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to leave their relationship. In fact, deep down, he may know that his girlfriend is the one for him.

However, sometimes he may crave something new and exciting in his life. That's where flirting with you comes in as the "new thing" that adds some spice to his routine.

But just because he is flirting with you doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to take things further or leave his girlfriend. He may be content with the excitement that flirting with you brings without wanting to take any action beyond that.

Just because he is flirting with you does not necessarily mean he likes you or views you as girlfriend material. Being someone else's sidepiece is not something anyone should aspire to.

Women generally expect the person who is flirting with them to be single and loyal, so it is natural to question the guy's motives and character. He may be flirting with you casually or trying to seek something more out of it.

The attention might be interesting, but his values are out of alignment with what he says and does.

There is trouble in saying one thing and doing another. Hot with you one minute, cold the next.

 

The thing is he doesn't come off as sloppy or flirty, i know the difference. Just overly nice, and extra kind in a friendly way. I've come across girls like this too, as if they want to be liked or accepted so bad . I've met socially awkward people like him before. Keep in mind he's a shy person.

He's not a sloppy drunk either.

Edited February 24, 2023 by justaskingok

[JTSW]

44 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

If we are invited to the same parties and games, I will go. If that's what you mean by staying away from them.

If they have issues with me they can stay away from me.

I don't mean not go to parties. 

I mean give them a wide berth, don't let him seek you out.

If you see him heading your way, walk away and talk with someone else.

Don't give him the opportunity.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, justaskingok said:

At a party scenario, he goes out of his way to attend to you, meaning giving you drinks ...he shares a whole house with this girl...

It sounds like he's hosting/co-hosting a party and attending to the guests. This seems like normal social behavior and not socially awkward.

If it makes you uncomfortable, be polite but go mingle with the other guests.  If he drinks and gets a bit loose, just smile and walk away.

Edited February 24, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Kassieee]

1 minute ago, JTSW said:

I don't mean not go to parties. 

I mean give them a wide berth, don't let him seek you out.

If you see him heading your way, walk away and talk with someone else.

Don't give him the opportunity.

Again, I'm not leaving who im with and tip toeing around because of someone else. 

[Kassieee]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It sounds like he's hosting a party and attending to the guests. This seems like normal social behavior and not socially awkward.

If it makes you uncomfortable, be polite but go mingle with the other guests.  If he drinks and gets a bit loose, just smile and walk away.

Others have noticed he tends to go over and beyond for me to the point where they think he may like me....he doesn't make me uncomfortable, just think he's an awkward person. Everyone else has me second guessing.

[JTSW]

35 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

Again, I'm not leaving who I'm with and tip toeing around because of someone else. 

I didn't say that either.

I'm just saying keep a distance.

[Wiseman2]

42 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

 they think he may like me....he doesn't make me uncomfortable, .

It seems like it will be ok as long as you're not uncomfortable around him or others at parties. Perhaps bring a date to parties where he'll be.

[Kassieee]

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like it will be ok as long as you're not uncomfortable around him or others at parties. Perhaps bring a date to parties where he'll be.

 

Perhaps I will.