parker24 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 So I (27M) started dating a woman I met (25F) about a month ago. Our “relationship” progressed really quickly (naturally), and we started to see each other pretty frequently and would exchange a few texts on the days we didn’t see each other. Last weekend, we went on a weekend trip together, which I think may have sped things up too quickly. After the trip, she distanced herself a lot. Minimal contact throughout the week etc. I played along and followed her lead in terms of contact. We met up this weekend in person and had a really fun date, but kept it more casual and fun this time. Everything seemed great in person. How would you suggest I proceed? She had mentioned a couple weeks ago that she liked me, and that she didn’t want to rush into a relationship. I feel like I may have placed too much pressure on us. Since she started pulling back, I started too as well. Not asking her what’s wrong, just focusing on good conversation and casualness when we do chat. Would you suggest I bring up “why are you distancing yourself? Are you wanting to take it slower?” Or should I proceed how I have been with minimal contact and following her lead? I really like her and I want it to work out, so I have been trying to lower the pressure and make things more fun and casual as much as possible. Thoughts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 23 minutes ago, parker24 said: She had mentioned a couple weeks ago that she liked me, and that she didn’t want to rush into a relationship. It seems like you're doing the right things by not pressuring. Just keep asking her out and have a wait and see approach. You're right not to err on the side of too much too soon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Allperspectiveswelcome Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 I agree. Keep doing what your doing - I wouldn't ask why she is distancing herself you might come across as needy given your new into seeing each other. X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 You already answered your question...things sped up too much, when she wanted to take things slow. Keep doing what you are doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 23 hours ago, parker24 said: Would you suggest I bring up “why are you distancing yourself? Are you wanting to take it slower?” Oh geez, no. This wouild be super weird and it would come across as you actually putting pressure on her. There's no need to over-analyze things to death. This is a woman who you have been seeing for a month. You are still getting to know each other. Just let it develop naturally. 23 hours ago, parker24 said: We met up this weekend in person and had a really fun date, but kept it more casual and fun this time. Everything seemed great in person. If your last date was this weekend and it was a good date, everything seemed great in person, then I don't see what the problem is. I think you are way overthinking this and looking for problems where there are none. You need to relax or you will sabotage this relationship with your overthinking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueberryPie Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 It sounds like you're doing just fine. I think some anxiety just goes with the territory, when you meet someone you really like but it's too soon to know if they will really be your Person or not in the end. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 On 2/27/2023 at 8:28 PM, parker24 said: I feel like I may have placed too much pressure on us What did you say or do that leads you to think this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author parker24 Posted February 28, 2023 Author Share Posted February 28, 2023 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: What did you say or do that leads you to think this? I think just talks about future plans, and being to relationshipy, even though she was very receptive and reciprocated to a good extent Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 (edited) This line is so tricky. I think you want to not let it suck you in. She had mentioned a couple weeks ago that she liked me, and that she didn’t want to rush into a relationship. Here's the problem: There are very few people in the world walking around announcing I want to rush into a deep relationship. I'm worried that her line does NOT mean she wants to go slow--it means she's not interested. And you should definitely step away. There is only now that we want to focus on. Is this person able to date us now and be the kind of person we want to date now? Edited March 1, 2023 by Lotsgoingon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 She put distance between you 2 because that weekend was too relationship like and it's not what she wants with you. She's comfortable with not too much closeness between you two so she distanced herself to her comfortable spot. To me she sounds like someone secretely keeping herself free for someone else or an ex. *l don't want a relationship* means she doesn't want a relationship with you, sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts