My bf has criticised me [update: I ended it]

[leahm939]

Over the last few weeks I have started a new job and just found out I have an iron deficiency. I've been exhausted and miserable because I'm so tired when I get home from work. My bf has not been bothered. He has said he doesn't think I want him anymore because I'm not showing him much attention anymore. It's not easy, he leaves his rubbish and clothes all over the floor, he's constantly looking at me and won't give me any privacy at all when he's in the house. He got really moody for complaining saying I don't listen to him but we obviously haven't listened to each other. He's tried calling me probably to apologise but I don't think I can go on anymore. I feel so bad though. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
merged threads

[neowulf]

I'd probably be asking myself the following question;

"When I think about my life with this person, has my day to day life become better or worse".

If you could snap your fingers and vanish your boyfriend from your life.. do you think life would be easier or harder.

In the end, all relationships are about negotiation.  He seems to be making a whole lot of demands on you, while offering little in return.

[Gaeta]

3 hours ago, leahm939 said:

Over the last few weeks I have started a new job and just found out I have an iron deficiency.

Iron deficiency can cause extreme fatigue and a series of other symptoms that may make you feel desperate about little things. Has your doctor given you supplement?  You need to address your health issue first. Don't let him drag you in an argument. Tell him you're not feeling well, you need to rest, you can see him over the weekend but you need his help. If he's not fully on board with giving you a hand with cleaning & cooking then don't see him. 

If he can't act like an adult then it's time to break up. 

[glows]

Is he aware you have an iron deficiency? And do you live together? Who owns the home or who is on the lease? 

7 hours ago, leahm939 said:

, he's constantly looking at me and won't give me any privacy at all when he's in the house. 

This stood out to me. Does he suspect you may be having an affair or there’s someone else? His behaviour seems very strange given the limited info. Is he by default an insecure person? I ask because you’ve started a new job. What’s your history together been like?

[basil67]

7 hours ago, leahm939 said:

He has said he doesn't think I want him anymore

It sounds like he's correct in his assumption.  You are debating leaving him and sounds like you're currently ignoring his calls.  And for what it's worth, I couldn't deal with him being a slob. 

What do you mean by he's constantly looking at you and isn't giving you privacy'?  Thing is, when we live with someone, we really don't get much privacy unless we're sitting on the toilet, so that's pretty normal.  But if you're really annoyed with him, then it makes sense you'll be more sensitive to him being around when you don't want him to be there

It's time to make a decision

Edited March 2, 2023 by basil67

[JTSW]

He sounds very insecure and there is a major lack of communication here.

Does he know about your iron deficiency?

If not, print out information on it and ask him to read it so he can understand.

Then sit down and tell him everything you told us in your post.

That you hate that he leaves his stuff lying around on the floor and that he never gives you a moments privacy.

Don't ignore his calls because that will just make him feel even more insecure.

[leahm939]

We've only been together a few months, he doesn't live with me. As in privacy he is always around me. Watching what I do when I come into my house and stands there. I wish he'd just leave me to it. I've never been with someone so irritating. I know I sound like a horrible person but he couldn't let anything go. Hes trying to be us back together I have until Monday to decide apparently. 

 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, leahm939 said:

. I've never been with someone so irritating. Hes trying to be us back together I have until Monday to decide apparently. 

It sounds like you might be happier without him. Set yourself free. Simply tell him it's not working out, then delete and block him.

[stillafool]

If you've been diagnoised with iron deficiency surely they prescribed iron pills.  Feosol is a good one.  Maybe once you get your deficiency under control you will feel better and be in a better mood.

[Purpledot88]

We were together for 6 months. He said he doesn't think I love him because I don't ask him how work was or make any effort. My family are gutted as they liked him and they feel bad for him. 

In the beginning I wasn't sure about getting into a new relationship as I just got out of an abusive one. 

But my friend who introduced us said he's really nice not like others. So I gave him a chance. And 6 months later, 3-4 weeks before we broke up i started new job and I've been really tired. We still spent time together and chill out at my place but he was very insecure. He said I'm not doing enough for him, followed me around the house and stood watching me get dressed or opening my mail. It made me uncomfortable. Everything he did was starting to creep me out or I didn't find funny at all. I felt I didn't love him anymore so I let him go. I feel bad too but I did the right thing didn't I?...I couldn't lead him on. I went to his place to pick up my key from him and he wouldn't give me it at first he called me a piece of s*** and said why am I doing this to him. He then threw my key in the street and called me a [ ] . I do feel bad because my family liked him. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
langauge

[Purpledot88]

He keeps emailing me to ask me to tell him I don't love him anymore as it's killing him. Should I tell him? 

I tried to say I don't have feelings anymore and he accused me of our 6 months together being a lie. 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. You did the right thing ending it.  He's abusive. Please read up on abusive relationships. Your family should not be encouraging you to stay in an abusive situation.

Edited March 4, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[JTSW]

18 hours ago, leahm939 said:

I've never been with someone so irritating.

There is your answer.

This isn't the right relationship for you. 

[JTSW]

Same poster I think

[stillafool]

5 hours ago, Purpledot88 said:

He keeps emailing me to ask me to tell him I don't love him anymore as it's killing him. Should I tell him? 

I tried to say I don't have feelings anymore and he accused me of our 6 months together being a lie. 

You keep saying that your family liked him but never that you did and above yo9u say you don't have feelings for him.  Just tell him you don't feel a connection, wish him well and say goodbye.  Go with guys you like, not who your family likes.

[stillafool]

22 hours ago, leahm939 said:

I've never been with someone so irritating.

Why don't you just break up with him and have peace?

[ShyViolet]

On 3/2/2023 at 9:41 AM, leahm939 said:

We've only been together a few months, he doesn't live with me. As in privacy he is always around me. Watching what I do when I come into my house and stands there. I wish he'd just leave me to it. I've never been with someone so irritating. I know I sound like a horrible person but he couldn't let anything go. Hes trying to be us back together I have until Monday to decide apparently. 

 

If you've only been together a few months, and the relationship is already this bad, it's time to end it.  At only a few months, that should be the time that the relationship is the at its peak and you are excited about each other.  Don't waste any more of your time on this.

[Lisa]

@leahm939 and @Purpledot88 are the same poster

[glows]

On 3/2/2023 at 9:58 PM, Purpledot88 said:

We were together for 6 months. He said he doesn't think I love him because I don't ask him how work was or make any effort. My family are gutted as they liked him and they feel bad for him. 

In the beginning I wasn't sure about getting into a new relationship as I just got out of an abusive one. 

But my friend who introduced us said he's really nice not like others. So I gave him a chance. And 6 months later, 3-4 weeks before we broke up i started new job and I've been really tired. We still spent time together and chill out at my place but he was very insecure. He said I'm not doing enough for him, followed me around the house and stood watching me get dressed or opening my mail. It made me uncomfortable. Everything he did was starting to creep me out or I didn't find funny at all. I felt I didn't love him anymore so I let him go. I feel bad too but I did the right thing didn't I?...I couldn't lead him on. I went to his place to pick up my key from him and he wouldn't give me it at first he called me a piece of s*** and said why am I doing this to him. He then threw my key in the street and called me a [ ] . I do feel bad because my family liked him. 

 

On 3/2/2023 at 11:21 PM, Purpledot88 said:

He keeps emailing me to ask me to tell him I don't love him anymore as it's killing him. Should I tell him? 

I tried to say I don't have feelings anymore and he accused me of our 6 months together being a lie. 

Just catching up here. No, block him and delete on all platforms. He’s verbally and emotionally abusive calling you names like that and cussing at you. He also follows you around in a threatening manner and seems incredibly oppressive. When you break up with someone like this don’t discuss any details as you won’t win arguing or trying to placate an abusive person.

Don’t feel bad about kicking him to the curb. Consider this finished. Don’t look back. Look for legitimate support groups in your community, speak with your doctor or discuss any emotions or your overall health. He or she may be able to point you in the right direction for further support or make some suggestions that are helpful to you in your area. And while you’re there get an STD check as well. You never know what people like this are capable of.