travelling to pick up and drop off partner on the other side of the country

[Lotsgoingon]

Heck no! No way. His request is ridiculous.

 BTW: your bf needs to get off his butt and take some initiative and learn to drive. That can be a major red flag and I say that knowing several relatives of mine never learned to drive. They were always begging for rides. Really inconvenient and exhausting and frankly, annoying. People giving them rides often felt inconvenienced and used.

An occasional ride when car is in the shop--that's fine. This is you being a chauffeur ... you're not his chauffeur. And he needs to know that!

[S2B]

What’s wrong with other relatives picking him up? Certainly he has other relatives that plan to attend - and could possibly pick him up?

take note - the families attitude and his sister’s attitude seems very entitled and selfish. So does your BF.

he isn’t considering how this crappy drive affects you at all.

any family that selfish - I’d stay away from.

let him get and pay for an Uber - tell the driver to say he’s/she’s a relative - same as you are related - which is no relation.

Edited March 4, 2023 by S2B

[Wiseman2]

On 3/2/2023 at 12:46 PM, sush31 said:

 his sister doesnt understand it which upsets him. 

Make sure you give him a definitive no, so he can make alternative arrangements. It's not your responsibility to be his chauffeur or smooth out his relationship with his sister and the RSVP to this wedding. 

He made a commitment to the military and it's his responsibility to follow their rules. If because of his military obligations and current training, he can't make it to the wedding, he'll have to accept that and so will his family.

[Alpacalia]

How long have you been dating? Does he routinely ask for things like this? Or, is this just a one-off?

His sister may want him to be there, it's ultimately his decision whether or not to attend the wedding given the restrictions placed on him by the military.

During vacations, I had a long-term partner who did significantly more driving than this, but we balanced it out in other ways.

If you feel that the driving is too much for you to manage safely, then say no.

Ultimately, you should prioritize your own safety and well-being and be honest with him about your concerns and limitations.

Are you supposed to attend the wedding with him? You can also suggest a compromise, such as driving him part of the way and that he find another form of transportation for the remainder of the journey.

You want to be supportive of your partner, his sister, and the special occasion, but you also don't feel comfortable driving 12+ hours in one day. It is important to be realistic and honest about what you can handle.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Alpacalia

[S2B]

Did you travel to pick him up?