Lowkey7 Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 After 3 years of recovering and healing from my last relationship, I’ve finally met and got to know someone who’s been able to magically make me feel alive and like myself again. We get on so well, I feel so good when I’m with her and I’m really really attracted to her. During my last relationship I had a car accident which I had to recover from and covid happened so during this time I put on weight because I was depressed at the time due to the break up so this new girl, says she finds me really handsome, that I have good genetics and that we’d make cute babies but she said she isn’t sexually attracted to be due to my weight gain as she’s seen old pics of me from before my accident and said if I was like that then she’d be all over me and despite this she said she still wants to pursue things with me and get married to me at some point. she’s asked me to join the gym which I’m more than happy to do for her and myself because this girl has made me feel something I’ve not felt in years, I’ve met a few girls and I haven’t felt anything at all but with her instantly I felt happy and like me again. the issue is, after my accident, I’ve got plates in my arm and have back pain so I struggle to workout otherwise I’d be hitting the gym 4/5 times a week but I don’t want to say that to her because I don’t want it to seem like I’m making an excuse but I’m genuinely so into her and pray it works out for us. im just disappointed in myself but not being able to be what she wants in the sexual attraction sense, I get a lot of female attention but I do admit I have gone a lot chunkier than before. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 How long had you been seeing each other before she mentioned you guys getting married and having cute babies? Bit presumptuous for so early on. Don't push yourself to work out. You have injuries and you don't want to make them worse. Consult with a trainer and see what workouts you can do that wont aggravate your injuries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lowkey7 Posted March 7, 2023 Author Share Posted March 7, 2023 1 minute ago, JTSW said: How long had you been seeing each other before she mentioned you guys getting married and having cute babies? Bit presumptuous for so early on. Don't push yourself to work out. You have injuries and you don't want to make them worse. Consult with a trainer and see what workouts you can do that wont aggravate your injuries. Basically we’re both British Pakistani’s so this kinda talk is normal, as we don’t really try doing the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing, we talk, if we like eachother, we get families involved and so on, so her talking about marriage wasn’t a bad thing like even I mentioned that if things go well then I’d love to spend the rest of my life with her too Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 (edited) Simply consult your doctor, and find out what would be the safest way to workout. Losing weight would really reduce your back pain and help with your overall mobility. It might have to start with seeing a person that deals with sports medicine, then work your way up to training at a gym. Not gonna happen over night but this is definitely a step in the right direction. Edited March 7, 2023 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 So you've just recently met and she said she is not attracted to you, but she would like to marry you if you just basically completely change yourself. Got it. I don't think you are approaching this in a healthy way nor do you have healthy expectations. Normal relationships don't start by one person telling the other they need to lose weight and only then they will want to be with them. You might not lose weight, or you might lose it and then gain it back. If her attraction to you comes with a condition, then you shouldn't even be considering being with this person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 So, her love in conditional. You don't want a future with someone like this. She isn't there for the right reasons and interested in you as a person. Yes, it would be a good idea to be as healthy as possible, but not because someone has made weight loss a criterion for having a relationship with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 7, 2023 Share Posted March 7, 2023 10 hours ago, Lowkey7 said: She’s asked me to join the gym which I’m more than happy to do for her and myself because this girl has made me feel something I’ve not felt in years, Sorry about your accident. Think of this woman more as an inspiration and catalyst for getting fit. Maybe things will work out, maybe not. But having someone to do activities with may help you achieve some health and fitness goals. Even if things don't work with her, its a win-win situation because you'll feel better and feel more confident about attracting women. Link to post Share on other sites
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