jdgreene215 Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 Hi, Was wondering if someone could give me some advice. I am a 35M and have been dating a woman for about 2 months. We've only gone on 3 dates over that time, as she travels alot for work, and has had to reschedule our last date due travel. After out last date she said she had a wonderful time and that we should do it again, and recommended a restaurant we should go to. I made a reservation and let her know, and she said she was looking forward to it. About 2 days later she said she had had to fly out of town for work again, and if we could reschedule to the following week. 2 days after that she text again and said that the following week wouldnt work either because she was headed out of town for her friends birthday (apparently they had this planned and she forgot). I recommended the following week, but she said was traveling again the week after that. Ultimately she apologized and said she wasn';t being awkward she just hasn't has any time and would let me know when she finally gets her head above water. I basically said no worries, hopefully we can hang out again soon. That was about a week ago, I sent her 1 or two flirty texts but haven't gotten much back from here. I know that was super long winded, but I really like this girl and dont know what my next play should be? I'm afraid if I just wait 3 weeks hoping she will contact me, it will look like i am uninterested, however, I dont want to be too overeager and annoying when she said she would like me know when shes free. or Could she just be over it? Help is appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 (edited) 5 minutes ago, jdgreene215 said: she just hasn't has any time and would let me know when she finally gets her head above water She seems too busy to date . Unfortunately it's unclear if she's making excuses or still interested . Since she mentioned she'll "let you know", step back and wait for her to contact you. Keep in mind you're both still talking to and meeting others. And also, people make time for what's important to them. Edited March 11, 2023 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 While it's important for you to show you're interested, it is equally important for her to show she's interested. I think you have done more than enough to show you're interested. There's no room for doubt there. As for her, it's her turn to make an effort to communicate and to actually show up for a date... if she wants to and has the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 Don't give yourself away so freely to someone you don't even know. It is simply not a good idea to give your whole self away to someone you barely know. Since accepting the invitation, she is not feeling the same way. The moment she agreed to hang out with you, you've already done a great job. It doesn't really matter if she said yes or no. What matters most at the end of the day is whether she goes out with you or not. Her cancelled dates indicate she isn't motivated enough to go out with you. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 4 hours ago, jdgreene215 said: I'm afraid if I just wait 3 weeks hoping she will contact me, it will look like i am uninterested It is obvious that you are interested, OP. I promise you she knows that you are. I just don't think it's all that mutual. I wouldn't keep pursuing her. Save your energy for someone who has more time for you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 I get it when we really like someone we are willing to make sacrifices, sometime ones that don't make sense to others. I believe you have lost sight in what is is important and that is YOU. When we deliver the bad news we don't do it to be mean or anything, we do take the time to read your post and consider your options. In other words we truly are looking out for your best interest when we say, it's not worth pursuing. Sorry but you deserve better than this. Like I always say, date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated..and that includes making time/effort to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 11, 2023 Share Posted March 11, 2023 Most people would have lost patience for this by now. It shouldn't be this difficult to make plans with someone. She is either not interested in you, or truly way too busy for a relationship. Either way, stop chasing this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Flood-ghn Posted March 13, 2023 Share Posted March 13, 2023 We’ve been dating for 2 months but haven’t been on too many dates. We planned our last date but she had to reschedule because of work travels (this happened a few times before). This time seemed different because she basically said she was traveling for the next month and would reach out when things get less hectic. I hate the limbo stuff, but we get on really well. She was never great at texting but now it’s cooled down a lot. Here’s my question: do I reach out in a couple of weeks for a date, do I leave it be and hope she texts, or do I shoot my shot and just say that I want to prioritize us dating. Kind of lost here Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted March 13, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted March 13, 2023 Moderator note: @Flood-ghn and @jdgreene215 are the same poster Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 13, 2023 Share Posted March 13, 2023 On 3/11/2023 at 8:23 AM, jdgreene215 said: she just hasn't has any time and would let me know when she finally gets her head above water. Try to believe her, that "she'll let you know". That means lay back until you hear from her. Crowding or suffocating won't help whether she's actually that busy or whether it's an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 Dude there are two possibilities: She is too busy to date, in which date you don't want to pursue her. She's too busy to date. She's not available. Two, she's using the travel excuse to keep distance with you. Here's the thing. Point #1 (her being too busy to date) is loud and clear. And yet you're not hearing that alarm. Let her go and date someone else willing to see her once a month or whatever her schedule allows. This is no criticism of you. Now point #2 could be true as well, but even that is no real reflection on you. First rule of dating: we want someone who can date--and date now! They are locked up in jail or too busy or whatever we don't pursue them. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 10 hours ago, Flood-ghn said: do I reach out in a couple of weeks for a date No. She has been responsibe, so that is your cue that you she isn't interested in another date. 10 hours ago, Flood-ghn said: do I shoot my shot and just say that I want to prioritize us dating No, as above. It won't matter to her that you want to prioritize dating when she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. Unfortunately, this one has fizzled out. I'm sorry. Don't keep hanging on. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 Don't wait for her OP. She honestly doesn't sound interested enough for you to pursue this. If she was truly interested she would make some time. I think you should move on from this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Stret Posted March 14, 2023 Share Posted March 14, 2023 Nobody is too busy to date when they meet the person they are genuinely interested in. At least they will find time to text from the toilet even if their day is 16 hour working day...only if they care to keep you. Move on and don't wait around. Link to post Share on other sites
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