She stuck around

[pepperbird2]

Why is any of this your business anyway? 

[pepperbird2]

On 3/26/2023 at 6:58 AM, SoulOfOne said:

One thing we all seem to agree on is that it is inappropriate for him to be discussing it with me. And a main reason many of us end up in a site like this is to gain some understanding and others perspectives on situations. I often try to put myself in their situations in an attempt to understand them. I try not to take their issues as my own, but often get stuck in the psychology of wondering WHY or HOW someone (yes, even myself) does the things they do. I just couldn't understand this one. Other than She must have some serious self esteem issues and he (although I've not seen it before) must be seriously spineless.

I was and am not interested in "helping" or providing him any guidance, and im NOT carrying this on my psychic load, but it just hit me that day as, "WOW. How would "I" feel or what happened with me to make me feel like this was a good choice?"  To chase an addicted (at the time) guy down, insert myself into his life insisting we would be together even when he told me NO. What happened to her to make her think this was "worth it"? Did she feel like she could CHANGE him OR SAVE HIM and he would MAGICALLY love her? And what she got in the end was still enough for her? After he got clean he STILL told her he never felt attracted, romantically inclined or loved her. How do you live your whole life like this is all you deserve (my own judgement here).

Someone here on this site once wrote to me "men don't stay with the woman who saves them" on a post I had once. That stuck in my head.

As for him (respectfully, I've never experienced addiction, so I could be off base) you just "gave in?" You KNEW you were never attracted to her, you didn't LOVE her? Was it just being weak from addiction? Needing someone to care for you, be it ANYONE? You were NEVER attracted to her or romantically loved her? Didn't want to have a kid with her but did? How do you live your whole life like this is all you deserve? (that is my judgement shining through again).

Tiny part of me wanting to watch this soap opera, but-I won't. Lol. It's just Toxic TV.

If all of this is true, you’ve come into contact with a user. Some people are like that. They go through life sucking op whatever emotional energy they can. Once there’s nothing left, they move on, but they like to have a fallback position- his wife. 
 

I have a feeling that if you could be a fly on the wall in their home, Mr.” I love my wife but I am not in love with her”  would show a very different story. Sounds to me like he’s testing the waters to see if you’ll buy his “ poor me” line.

[SoulOfOne]

On 4/1/2023 at 2:13 PM, pepperbird2 said:

Why is any of this your business anyway? 

It's precisely none of my business. 🤣  Just the first and only (and last on my part) real ODD conversation we have had. We've talked about marketing ideas, psychology of customer service, people, ideas, getting along with co workers before. This one just took a weird turn. I'm over it.

[SoulOfOne]

On 3/31/2023 at 4:54 AM, Wiseman2 said:

This seems to be part of it. Sort of living vicariously through his drama.

Yeah. Admittedly. And I should not. No reason to. I'm going to do my best to steer clear next time we are in the same space. 

[Daliah]

The man is talking utter tosh…I’ve never heard such a lot of twaddle, and you would be wise to steer clear of this disrespectful cretin. What a disgusting way to talk about his wife … definitely trying to hook you in. Don’t buy it, and tell him next time he starts rabbiting on that you’re not interested in a man who talks that way about his family. He’d do the same to you if his wife found out what he was saying behind her back.

Absolutely disgraceful.