Kitty_m Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) Hi i met this guy and we do get along well and i like him, s3x is amazing…We are not exclusive. Thats not the issue issue is we were planning to skip using protection , so he had gone to get std check and turns out he has clamydia. This made me freak out especially when he said he told all his “girls” about that he is positive!! I was like whoaaa how mmay? Hes telling me he has multiple partners that he doesnt use protection with. And was going to give up on all his partners and only choose me for natural s3x. But now i dont trust this guy even if he aaid hes using condom with rest of his girls? Even with a condom he seems as thou hes a high risk doesnt he? Am i being too ocd here? To me it is not normal to have multiple natural s3x partners this is a high risk situatuon for me to be in. So i am considering cutting him off? Am i being too paranoid or am i right to think he may not change and may put me at risk with his bad choices? (Ps i will get checked too as i know it can pass theu mouth and i am mad about it) thanks Edited March 23, 2023 by Kitty_m Typos Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 12 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: Hes telling me he has multiple partners that he doesnt use protection with. 12 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: he aaid hes using condom with rest of his girls? You realize these are contradictory statements, right? No way would I continue sleeping with this man. You are but one of many women he has sex with, and it's obvious he doesn't use protection. It is not "OCD" to not want STIs or HIV. Just because he's only come back positive for chlamydia now doesn't mean he's not incubating something else that might show up later on. Don't risk your health for this person. Just get rid of him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty_m Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 I meant he said he will use condom with rest of his girls now that he had the std check. But yes it makes me concerned Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 10 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: I meant he said he will use condom with rest of his girls now that he had the std check. I would not believe that for a second. He sounds gross. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 10 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: I meant he said he will use condom with rest of his girls now that he had the std check. But yes it makes me concerned *I bet he says that to all the girls* It boggles my mind that you were having unprotected sex with a guy who you knew wasn't exclusive. It's time to start taking better care of your own sexual health 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty_m Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 24 minutes ago, basil67 said: *I bet he says that to all the girls* It boggles my mind that you were having unprotected sex with a guy who you knew wasn't exclusive. It's time to start taking better care of your own sexual health I did not say i had unprotected. You did not read it properly. We were planning to so unprotected but after his results i am wondering if i should even have protected sex or bin him thats the question?? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 Thanks for the clarification. For what it's worth, I wouldn't touch this guy with a disinfected 40ft pole covered in plastic wrap. Also condoms aren't 100% so get yourself tested too. It's my understanding that chlamydia doesn't always show symptoms in women, and can lead to infertility 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) 48 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: wondering if i should even have protected sex or bin him thats the question?? Get rid of him. His high risk sexual behavior isn't worth it. Chlamydia is only one of many STDs. Please read up on the safe sex : https://www.cdc.gov/std/general/default.htm Edited March 23, 2023 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Kitty_m said: i am wondering if i should even have protected sex or bin him thats the question?? We can't answer that for you. All I can tell you is that my standards are too high to share my body with a guy like him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 He's not safe. He has risked allot of peoples health. He has an sti and you're wondering if you should still have unprotected sex with him? That would be a hard no. Trust your instincts. He's gross. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ray_xx Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 4 hours ago, Kitty_m said: Hi i met this guy and we do get along well and i like him, s3x is amazing…We are not exclusive. Thats not the issue issue is we were planning to skip using protection , so he had gone to get std check and turns out he has clamydia. This made me freak out especially when he said he told all his “girls” about that he is positive!! I was like whoaaa how mmay? Hes telling me he has multiple partners that he doesnt use protection with. And was going to give up on all his partners and only choose me for natural s3x. But now i dont trust this guy even if he aaid hes using condom with rest of his girls? Even with a condom he seems as thou hes a high risk doesnt he? Am i being too ocd here? To me it is not normal to have multiple natural s3x partners this is a high risk situatuon for me to be in. So i am considering cutting him off? Am i being too paranoid or am i right to think he may not change and may put me at risk with his bad choices? (Ps i will get checked too as i know it can pass theu mouth and i am mad about it) thanks this makes me feel sick 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 6 hours ago, Kitty_m said: met this guy and we do get along well and i like him, s3x is amazing… 5 hours ago, Kitty_m said: I did not say i had unprotected. You did not read it properly. We were planning to so unprotected but after his results i am wondering if i should even have protected sex or bin him thats the question?? You've already had sex with him unprotected or not. I think you need to get to your doctor's office to get an STD check immediately and then stop contact with this nasty man. He just told you he would use a condom with the other girls so he doesn't have to use one with you. The truth is he will still go condom free with the other girls, you and any new girls he meets. He doesn't care about any of you. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) I would not have sex with the man - protected or otherwise. It’s not OCD to want to trust that the man you are having sex with is not engaging in other risky behaviors. You have proof that he is engaging in other risky behaviors, and as such, I would be done with him… Get yourself tested if you haven’t already. Edited March 23, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 7 hours ago, Kitty_m said: multiple natural s3x partners What is a “natural” sex partner?? Do you mean having sex with somebody without protection? Either way, I personally would not continue having sex with him. But if you do, make sure you get checked out first, and after that, if you want to continue with him, definitely use condoms. Can chlamydia be cured? I don’t even know. But have him show you evidence that’s he being treated as well, if that’s a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 This guy obviously is so hot, women are willing to do whatever with him and glaze over his lies. He must be soooooommmmme thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 @Kitty_m I suspect part of you thinks if you’re the only one he’s having unprotected sex with while wearing condoms with all the other women, somehow that makes you special. Like he’s picking you. If so, I would really examine why that’s so important to you. Why is your value is tied up in this guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 11 hours ago, Kitty_m said: . But yes it makes me concerned I'm surprised it didn't turn you off completely. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty_m Posted March 25, 2023 Author Share Posted March 25, 2023 On 3/24/2023 at 12:26 AM, Weezy1973 said: @Kitty_m I suspect part of you thinks if you’re the only one he’s having unprotected sex with while wearing condoms with all the other women, somehow that makes you special. Like he’s picking you. If so, I would really examine why that’s so important to you. Why is your value is tied up in this guy? That is not the reason. i am poly and i dont have a primary partner atm. And since sex with him was so good and i like the guy plus he always msges me keeps in touch so we do get along. I was considering to date him as a primary partner. And he was going to be the only one i have unprotected with and vice versa. Now knowing his high risk behaviour i am unsure if i can even trust him with protection as some stds can pass from mouth and even with condom its not 100% so yeah main reason is we have a great connection Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty_m Posted March 25, 2023 Author Share Posted March 25, 2023 On 3/24/2023 at 1:35 AM, Wiseman2 said: I'm surprised it didn't turn you off completely. Coz it takes me alit to have a connection or like someone. And i like this guy so i guess i am trying to see if uts salvageable:( Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 8 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: i am poly and i dont have a primary partner atm. And since sex with him was so good Ok. Even if this guy is "a good connection", you have plenty of other opportunities. Perhaps opportunities that aren't as risky as far as your health. You can certainly find a good connection again. Perhaps reflect if high-risk sex and high-risk partners is the turn on for you. The so-called bad-boy effect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty_m Posted March 25, 2023 Author Share Posted March 25, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok. Even if this guy is "a good connection", you have plenty of other opportunities. Perhaps opportunities that aren't as risky as far as your health. You can certainly find a good connection again. Perhaps reflect if high-risk sex and high-risk partners is the turn on for you. The so-called bad-boy effect. He deeply apologised. And said he only had one partner before he got a gf that lasted for years and that he only been single last 2 years and havent been following safe sex and that he didnt know? Thanked me for calling him out on it and said he will change and he will use condom with everyone from now on (including me)so i dont know should i believe him. Everyone can fk up at some stage in their life and maybe he will change and maybe he is learning? Edited March 25, 2023 by Kitty_m Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 6 minutes ago, Kitty_m said: He deeply apologised. And said he only had one partner before he got a gf that lasted for years and that he only been single last 2 years and havent been following safe sex and that he didnt know? Thanked me for calling him out on it and said he will change and he will use condom with everyone from now on (including me)so i dont know should i believe him. Everyone can fk up at some stage in their life and maybe he will change and maybe he is learning? On 3/23/2023 at 1:48 AM, Kitty_m said: he said he told all his “girls” about that he is positive!! Hes telling me he has multiple partners that he doesnt use protection with. Unfortunately this is a deliberate act. It's not about learning or messing up once in a while. If you feel safe using condoms with him, at least you know the risks involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 Maybe he is comparing different partners to see which one is the best in bed. Some guys have been known to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 8 hours ago, Kitty_m said: Everyone can fk up at some stage in their life and maybe he will change and maybe he is learning? Is your health really worth risking for a "maybe"? Mine sure isn't. I would get rid of him and focus on finding higher-quality men. This guy is not one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 11 hours ago, Kitty_m said: Coz it takes me alit to have a connection or like someone. And i like this guy so i guess i am trying to see if uts salvageable:( What was so great about his guy? He's also got connections with a bunch of other girls, it that what you're looking for? What is salvageable about him? Link to post Share on other sites
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