SydkneeQuncle Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 My spouse of several years is living together and seeking a divorce. I am not happy about that direction but maybe I have been a poor mate. She is not happy with my choices and I know she has a stubborn or confident direction against us continuing. We can get along and so I still need love and was hoping she would be ok with me finishing our relationship with the last weeks on a love accessibility approach - like benefits they call it. Does anybody have any ideas on how I can request a regular approach? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 (edited) Yeah, I don't know how that's going to work. Usually when I wanted an exit from a long term relationship any sexual attraction I had towards my ex went out the door with it. This isn't something you ask for, but something that just happens. Why not focus on finalizing your divorce and then start dating? Edited March 26, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 Being "friends with benefits" (if that is the plan here) while divorcing is unlikely to be agreed to. Sex and emotion tend to go hand-in-hand and so from her perspective having sex (assuming she were at least somewhat interested) would be re-constituting a bond she is apparently set on breaking and so counterproductive towards her apparent goals. She's probably aware of this at some level; perhaps you are too? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 If you're still having sex, then she may well continue for the time being. But if you're no longer having sex, then there's no way she will agree. In short, the status quo will dictate what is likely to come next. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 7 hours ago, VA_Admits_zero said: hoping she would be ok with me finishing our relationship with the last weeks on a love accessibility approach. Sorry this is happening. Make sure you consult an attorney for advice on your options in divorce. It's doubtful she wants to continue marital relations if she wants to end the marriage. Try to focus on either marriage therapy or divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 26, 2023 Share Posted March 26, 2023 10 hours ago, VA_Admits_zero said: was hoping she would be ok with me finishing our relationship with the last weeks on a love accessibility approach So, if we drop the weird phrasing, what you're asking her for is to continue having sex. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 27, 2023 Share Posted March 27, 2023 On 3/26/2023 at 12:22 AM, VA_Admits_zero said: We can get along and so I still need love and was hoping she would be ok with me finishing our relationship with the last weeks on a love accessibility approach - like benefits they call it. Does anybody have any ideas on how I can request a regular approach? I doubt she will go for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts