sudden 9year break up and I am lost

[wrenchturner]

couple weeks ago some guy text my girlfriend of 9 years while we were making food.there were no signs this was coming everything was good at the time.I asked who is this guy she grabbed her phone and deleted it as fast as i asked.that made me suspicous so we got in a argument about it then all of a sudden it flipped she was like i dont feel i should stay.I was like you going to walk out we should discuss whats going on with the time and family we have .she said no i feel like i should leave so she went and stayed at one of her family members.2 days later she calls says she cannot do this anymore needs time to find herself and figure herself out and she wants to know she can stand on her own two feet and make it.so she is moving out we both have a kid each there older there taking it hard .she already removed and relisted her kid in new school district were she is moving .i talk to my kid he is sad about it but he also stated now we can do more together wich is great but i know its hard on him.my issue  is i feel lost after 9 years i built mine and my sons life around them she lived in my house,she took over cooking,we did everything together as a family .she says she wants to stay friends that i am her best friend .i dont have many friends cause i was happy with my family i dont drink or do drugs i just worked and lived through my family .i am scared to be alone after being in this 9 years i dont have my son all the time i share custody with his mom who cheated on me after 20years with her and that divorce was very hard i was in a dark place till i met the 9year companion .i am scared i will go to that dark place again when my kid is not home .i dont know how i should cope or deal with all this any suggestions to help me carry on and make it would be helpful

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, wrenchturner said:

 i was in a dark place till i met the 9year companion .i am scared i will go to that dark place again when my kid is not home.

Sorry this is happening. Were you having problems in the relationship? Were you depressed or too dependent on her?

Unfortunately it seems like she has been checked out and unhappy for a long time. Do you think she was cheating? 

See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Get some tests done. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

You'll need to be in good condition to be a single parent.  Do you have friends and family who could offer support and help?

[JTSW]

Wiseman is right, she has clearly been checked out of the relationship for a while.

She has also obviously been seeing someone else for a while too.

If you got yourself out of a dark place before then you can do it again.

Maybe even keep yourself from falling into that dark place by focussing on your son.

Indulge in hobbies etc.

 

 

[wrenchturner]

thank you i have no family just me and my son who i only have every other week scared to be alone in this big house i bought for my family.the only reason i would think she was cheating is due to the text she got and how she reacted to the tex deleting it real fast but i was not able to read so i have no proof otherwise it would be easier to walk away from .we had normal issues like most small arguments seems like every year we would have maybe a big argument .everything was normal and happy the morning of the tex she recieved .i feel if the tex did not happen would not be here now at least .not depressed when you say dependent i dont believe so i felt i was married she did not help with much besides cooking very small amount of money she helped with for bills and mortgage nowere close to half .i am the kind of guy that trys to take care of everything for people i care about and love .honestly my son is the only thing that keeps me from failing .i have always been in long term relationships so i have not been alone in a long time and idk why but i am very scared being alone and in my house by myself .thank you you guys talking to me helps more than you know