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Did she pull away because of me


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We were texting everyday all day for a couple of weeks, she was extremly enthusiastic with exclamation and heart faced emojis. So i ask her out and shes extatic to say the least, date went very well and she made sure i knew she had an awesome time, so another week goes by with all the same enthusiasm and i ask her out again and she says she cant wait to see me again. Evrything is going well untill i reached for her hand and she pulls away, so i make a joke and we finish the movie. After movie is over i ask if we can talk and she says yes, so i ask if she wanted a relationship, she says she's not sure if shes ready bc she just got out of a divorce, and my divorce isn't final yet, but shes open to dating towards a relationship. So we talk more on the way home i drop her off then leave. I get back to my place and she text me that she had a good time. The day after she only responded once to a text i sent late. The day after that, she ghosted me......

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You should not date women barely out of relationships for obvious reasons. She's not ready, she needs to date around, she needs to find herself again and she'll test a few micro relationships before she is ready to date seriously. 

She showed a lot of enthusiasm at first because like all human being she enjoyed the attention  from a new man but she can't move any further that that.

She will be a huge waste of your time, move to next.

Save yourself time and before you ask someone on a first date make sure they've been single a good while.

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That stinks. It sounds like you had a great time and were really interested in seeing where things could go.

It has happened to me before, when I took my hand away and then the man made a joke and I gave a confusing mixture of signals.

Honestly, I don't know why I pulled my hand away because I liked him.

Having recently divorced, she's probably not ready to jump into a relationship right away. It may have been that she tried to protect her emotions but, ultimately, she ended up putting distance between herself and you. As evident from what she said, she seemed unprepared to pursue a relationship further, regardless of the reasons for it.

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For whatever reason she decided that she's not interested in you, or she's not ready for a relationship.  It was a little much that you asked her if she wants a relationship on the second date.  Maybe that scared her off, or made her realize that she isn't ready for one.  In the future don't ask that on the second date.  That's a little weird and you need to get to know someone for a while first.

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ExpatInItaly
3 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

It was a little much that you asked her if she wants a relationship on the second date

I agree. 

Slow down next time, OP. I don't think woman was a safe bet anyway, given that she has just gotten divorced, but asking for a relationship that early is just too much too soon. 

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6 hours ago, hinly said:

so i ask if she wanted a relationship

What actual wording did you use?   I think it's perfectly acceptable to broadly ask what someone is looking for, but it's too early to ask if they want a relationship with you.

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Its way too soon for the both of you.

She is fresh out of a marriage and you aren't even divorced yet.

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10 hours ago, hinly said:

 my divorce isn't final yet, but shes open to dating towards a relationship. The day after that, she ghosted me......

Sorry this happened. It seems like way too much way too soon. Avoid texting "all day every day". It's suffocating. Also avoid heavy conversation about relationships on a second date. .

Take your time and relax, letting things evolve more naturally. Just go on casual dates and enjoy yourself. Since you're still legally married, keep in mind many women may view that as a red flag or deal breaker. Just slow down the pace a bit.

 

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Ya this lady was just a little lonely, but got spooked about the physical part. She's just not ready for that and saved you the trouble. Too bad she couldn't just be honest about it. 

Edited by smackie9
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