On the "Second chance" with my husband

[dontwanttoloosehim]

My husband decided he did not want to be with my 4 months ago. He said he finally put his foot down cause he gave me many chances and he is fed up. He said the reason was I changed after we got married I became a diff person. I do believe him in a way or the other. So in the last 4 months I have been so nice to him and trying exxxtra hard to win him back.

He finally said okay we will give it a second try . But he said its hard for him seeing he has lost feelings for me. So he does not hug me or kiss me or cuddle etc.. He gives me kisses on the cheek and if I wanted to kiss him it would be on the cheek as well. I mean it use to be int he last 4 months that he did not want me near him evern sharing the same bed!! But no we are hsaring the same bed but not closeness. Is that normal?

His explanation was that he is "waiting for the ice to melt" and he wants to give it time to see if his feelings might resurface, In the mean time I am trying my best to no talk to him about the relationship. I use to talk and beg and cry etc he HATED it. So i stopped talking to him about it!

Is this normal whats hes doing? Should i be hopeful and patient? He said this is for the better and time will help. But i know deep in his heart he does ot want this.

On the brigther side he said he has noticed a huge change in me . He said you have become the person I married again. And in my head i am like then why doesnt he come close to me etc?

SO he says i wish i had the strong feelings for you and i wish you would have changed when i had strong feelings for you. Then hes says lets give it time.

What should I do to make things better?

I am being extra nice, and less needy.

But I feel lonelyyyyyy

I have no family or friends around to comfort me . Thats why i found loveshack.

When i get up in the morning near him-- and he does not say good morning or hug me it kills me..... but he says he is trying his best and this is the best he could offer right now.

I love him so much. All i want is to have his kids and take care of him like any other wife does ?

[westernxer]

How did you change?

 

Maybe you should both see a marriage counselor for additional insight.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

I changed by giving him a less harder time. I dont sweat the small stuff. I respect him a lot more. I ma just waiiting for him to warm up to me and it just aint happening. I told him lets see a counselor he was no interested. He said I know what I want I dont need anyone to tell me.

I am just wondering if it it normal for himt o be a little distant like that?

[vikingruler]

So I am in a similiar situation as you, my wife has fallen out of love with me and we are on the mend. We are sleeping again in the same bed but it could be an ocean apart. The thing that gets me about your post and I did it too is that you are saying you are trying so hard to be nice to him and so hard to show him what he wants to see.... is that fair to him, is that fair to you. What I am saying is have you looked inward and found what you need, are you centered and happy... You will see it time again and again in these post... You need to work on you, fix you, make you happy. If you do that then people around you will see and if that is something they wanted to see they will respond. I found that before MC and before self-reflection days would last forever. Now when I get lonely or frustrated I think back to what I need to work on, is it my temper is it my feelings, then focus on that and see if I am doing the right thing. Days start to go by faster.