Any advice appreciated

[sporty]

I have started seeing someone in the last week or so who is a great man and is very kind to me. I enjoy being with someone and having that companionship. But, as with all my other relationships, I either am totally mad about the person or am not sure. With him, even though he is a gem I am not sure. He really likes me and has told me how he feels and how he has done so for a while. I am scared he is going to get hurt if this goes any further and gets more into me and then I decide I don't want to be with him. I already feel guilty about it!!

 

I have become kind of fixated on something which I don't know is a way of me wanting to get out of this relationship or something else. He sweats quite excessively even though he is clean and hygienic but during sex particularly he gets very sweaty and there is this odour around us in bed as we lie there. I find it very off-putting, I always have done with things like that. I feel like I need to bring this up with him but part of me thinks that it would be easier not to and just not continue to see him. I feel that if we start getting into discusiing matters like this and sorting things out like other couples might do, it ties us more to each other.

 

I don't know, as I said, whether it is worth trying to sort this out or whether this is just a away of me not wanting to be in this relationship.

 

I'd really appreciate any advice on this (the sweating or the relationship part!) as I'm pretty confused about it. I will probably speak to him today and I want to have a better idea of what I think before I start to mess him around, which is what I don't want to do.

 

Thanks a lot.

[Tony T]

One or two weeks is hardly enough time to get attached to somebody in any meaningful way. However, it is enough time to know if you are interested enough to pursue things further.

 

You just don't sound like you are interested enough to continue seeing this guy. As far as hurting him, if he is someone who gets so attached in such a short amount of time, he's got problems you don't need.

 

If in a week's time he has already told you how much he cares about you, that's probably why you have no further interest. This guy is not challenge at all. You might tip him off for his own benefit that in the future, he shouldn't show his feelings so soon in a relationship. Ladies always question the genuiness of such early disclosures.

 

As far as his perspiration problem during sex, there is no point in going into this with him if you are going to end the relationship. This may be caused by anxiety or by overproductive sweat glands. The odor, and some of the perspiration, can be eliminated if he will exercise more and also take a shower prior to sex. Application of a good body lotion is also a good idea. (I give you this information in case you decide to stay with the guy)

 

I just don't get the feeling from you that you are into this much. My recommendation is to let him go now rather than string him along...but that's your call.