Kylethemalteser Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 So basically this is a crazy story. Probably most answers will be don't bother about her etc. but anyway, here is the story. I have been in a relationship for 14 years. I love my girlfriend very much. Yes he had our share of problems over the years but we found a way to work these things out or work through them, and I can honestly say that I am really Happy. It feels like home (I live with her). Last week I was in a bachelors holiday before my friend got married... and like every bachelors/stag holiday we went to some strip clubs and stuff (by the way, we were in europe). So basically the strippers come and talk to you, try to make you feel like you have a connection with them just so you can buy them drinks and have a private room together with them. And basically I wasn't interested in any of them... until this girl came. at first I thought she's just like any other girl but as time went by she was different. She didn't keep asking for a private dance or for drinks. we kept on talking and talking. Anyway, her supervisor told her that I have to pay for a private rooms because a half an hour was gone. but anyway... Is it usual to have a connection with someone instantly although you have never met or had any interest in the person before? and I was like a bit baffled, I had never had any connection with anyone that fast. She literally didn't try to rip me off, and our conversations were so easy going (easier than i have ever had with my girlfriend). After a good conversation, and a dance I left there, went home and I was so confused! Two days later I returned to this strip club hoping to see her, when I was getting up and ready to leave she saw me and she pulled me away from my friends and she told me not to go, and I stayed. We had such a good conversation afterwards. and she also took me to a private room, which I didnt pay for, she paid from her own tips, and we talked and had probably one of the most wonderful conversation I have ever had. I literally don't know why I'm going crazy over this girl when I am in a relationship, in fact when I arrived home and when I'm with my girlfriend Im so happy, but when I'm alone, its like my mind goes over to that girl. Is it something normal? maybe just a crush? or maybe my ADHD hyperfixation? Any one had the same experience or something similar? Thanks for taking the time to read this. I have never used a forum before so you can imagine how confused and baffled I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 2 hours ago, Kylethemalteser said: , her supervisor told her that I have to pay for a private rooms because a half an hour was gone. ... Is it usual to have a connection with someone instantly although you have never met or had any interest in the person before? It's a sex worker's job to make you feel this way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 She is just doing her job. Don't read too much into it and don't go back there again. If you love your gf and you are happy with her then it shouldn't be a problem for you to stay away from that strip club. I can guarantee that girl is the same with many other guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 She's just good at her job. I promise she does this with other clients like you. However, you would be wise to reflect on why exactly you went to seek her out again. You are not single, yet you were behaving like you are. What are the problems at home? I don't buy that everything is fine. Are you bored? Checking out of your relationship? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylethemalteser Posted April 6, 2023 Author Share Posted April 6, 2023 45 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: She's just good at her job. I promise she does this with other clients like you. However, you would be wise to reflect on why exactly you went to seek her out again. You are not single, yet you were behaving like you are. What are the problems at home? I don't buy that everything is fine. Are you bored? Checking out of your relationship? I think it was the conversation thing. I never had such a flowing and natural conversation with anyone, nor my girlfriend after 14 years… Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylethemalteser Posted April 6, 2023 Author Share Posted April 6, 2023 20 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: It's a sex worker's job to make you feel this way. True that, but howcome the next day she did not let me pay and paid from her own tips? Why do that when you can make easy money? That is what really confused me apart from the really good conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 4 minutes ago, Kylethemalteser said: I think it was the conversation thing. I never had such a flowing and natural conversation with anyone, nor my girlfriend after 14 years… That is a serious problem. If a couple conversations with a stripper are better than any you have ever had with your own partner, you are really in the wrong relationship. 2 minutes ago, Kylethemalteser said: howcome the next day she did not let me pay and paid from her own tips? Because some clubs permit their dancers to give freebies if they think they could later get more money from a client. It's marketing and she likely didn't pay for anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 1 hour ago, Kylethemalteser said: howcome the next day she did not let me pay and paid from her own tips? Why do that when you can make easy money? It's how they make their clients feel special. You're not the first person she has done this with and you wont be the last. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 2 hours ago, Kylethemalteser said: I think it was the conversation thing. I never had such a flowing and natural conversation with anyone. Sex workers need to be flexible in order to make a living. There's usually a menu of services available.. This includes offering lonely and vulnerable clients "the girlfriend experience". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 2 hours ago, Kylethemalteser said: That is what really confused me apart from the really good conversations. You can read up on this type of service: "A girlfriend experience (GFE) is a commercial sex service that blurs the boundaries between a financial transaction and a romantic relationship" Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 My ex husband frequented strip clubs and when we were going through our divorce he promptly moved his girlfriend into his new rental. She was a dancer at one of the strip clubs he frequented and "fell in love". According to him they had long, deep conversations and just clicked with each other. A few months into the new living situation he came home from a business trip to find her in their bed with another man, and his bank account (to which he had unwisely given her access) cleared out. He and I are on ok terms and actually got together for dinner a few months ago when we were in the same city. Over the several years since our divorce he has freely volunteered the information about how foolish he felt over the situation with her. I feel bad for him because he really did care about her. That's hopefully an extreme story, and not common, but I hope you take it as a caution. I agree with the others who think that your relationship with your girlfriend may not really be all you've thought it was. My ex-husband was susceptible to the adoring attention of a young attractive woman because our marriage had long since stopped being what either of us wanted or needed. It's natural to be attracted to other people and enjoy their attention. But if it's more than a passing thought it would be in your interest (and your girlfriend's) to take a good look at your relationship. Maybe you need to work on strengthening it and not taking each other for granted. Or maybe the relationship has run its course. Don't insist on thinking that this other woman is really something special. It's highly unlikely this is about her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 (edited) It’s called infatuation. It would be very unwise to leave your relationship for a stripper with whom you have become infatuated. As has been said above, she is paid to make men feel the way that you are feeling… Edited April 6, 2023 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 7, 2023 Share Posted April 7, 2023 (edited) I caught myself twirling my hair without realizing it the other day while a man served me drinks at the restaurant. My honey laughed. Just a momentary lapse of attention. This feeling shall pass. Just don't keep going back. Edited April 7, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylethemalteser Posted April 7, 2023 Author Share Posted April 7, 2023 Thank you all for these answers, you all made me feel better and i am understanding more about my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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