I walked away

[Lowkey7]

A girl I’ve been seeing for a while, who I’m head over heels for, I’ve tonight messaged her that it’s been one sided and I don’t feel like she cares or values me and I think it’s best if I walk because I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough otherwise she would have felt something towards me by now. I do know she’s very reserved and I’m kinda hoping she’ll message me at some point expressing her feelings to me and that she did feel something towards me but just didn’t say anything. 

Did I do the right thing? I have to protect myself because this is the first girl I’ve met after 3 years of not speaking to any girl because of a bad break up where my ex treated me like s*** and didn’t appreciate me and in the end cheated on me.

I sent her a long message last night telling her that I have to walk away because it seems like I’m putting in all the effort and basically expressed my feelings to her, that I wish it worked out, she just responded with ‘take care’ nothing else :/ 

there has been times she has told me she misses me and compliments me and mention she’s used to having me around. 
 

before anyone thinks so, no I’m not playing games.. I genuinely walked away to protect myself but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I hope she comes back and expresses her feelings to me

Edited April 6, 2023 by Lowkey7
Editin

[Wiseman2]

23 minutes ago, Lowkey7 said:

.. I genuinely walked away to protect myself but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I hope she comes back and expresses her feelings to me

How long were you seeing each other? You did the right thing if you weren't comfortable in the relationship.

Is this the same woman?:

 

[Lowkey7]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you seeing each other? You did the right thing if you weren't comfortable in the relationship.

Is this the same woman?:

 

Few months

 

But the fact she responded with just ‘take care’ what do you think that means 

 

yes, the attraction grew thankfully, we haven’t got intimate like that but she always rested her head on my arm/shoulder, we’ve kissed etc surely that meant somehing 

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, Lowkey7 said:

But the fact she responded with just ‘take care’ what do you think that means 

That she is okay with you walking away. 

She doesn't have the same interest in you that you do in her. There's not much you can do but cut this off. 

[BaileyB]

16 hours ago, Lowkey7 said:

But the fact she responded with just ‘take care’ what do you think that means 

Her response proves that you made the right decision for yourself. 

[JTSW]

On 4/6/2023 at 10:46 PM, Lowkey7 said:

But the fact she responded with just ‘take care’ what do you think that means 

It means she is accepting that you are ending it.

The fact that she didn't explain her behaviour and apologise in anyway tells me she was already checked out.

It's the only closure you are going to get.

You need to accept that and move on. 

[Measure]

I wouldn't have sent her any of that.  If a woman sent me a message like the one you sent her I would have bailed regardless how I felt about her.

For me, if someone has a problem with me they should communicate with me.  Using a "breakup" to "communicate" how you feel in hopes the breakup would get the person to express the feelings you want them to express and beg for you to stay?  No way, ner er.  That's a deal breaker for me.  Hell waiting 2 months for sex is a deal breaker for me.  

Regardless, you said what you said, you can't take it back, it's best for you to move on.  Also I would not recommend sending that "type" of message in the future.

[NuevoYorko]

It's manipulative to "break up" with somebody to try to get a specific reaction out of them.

Since your desire was to get reassurance that the two of you were on the same page and to find out how she  was feeling, why didn't you initiate a conversation about this?  Communication is crucial in relationships. 

She did the right thing by turning around and walking away - even if she had serious feelings about you.  

[basil67]

Had you stated how you feel and said you'd like to discuss it, she may well have explained how she feels, or reconsidered her behaviour.  But as you've delivered the break up as a fait accompli, she has no choice but to accept it.   

Credit to her for accepting the ending graciously and not begging for another chance.

[Wiseman2]

On 4/6/2023 at 5:46 PM, Lowkey7 said:

But the fact she responded with just ‘take care’ what do you think that means 

Sadly it means indifference.  It seems like you dodged a bullet and after a couple months dating, it's good you didn't invest more. 

[Lowkey7]

23 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Had you stated how you feel and said you'd like to discuss it, she may well have explained how she feels, or reconsidered her behaviour.  But as you've delivered the break up as a fait accompli, she has no choice but to accept it.   

Credit to her for accepting the ending graciously and not begging for another chance.

 

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sadly it means indifference.  It seems like you dodged a bullet and after a couple months dating, it's good you didn't invest more. 

she came back and we’re closer than ever and she’s more open with me. I asked her why she didn’t say much and only responded ‘take care’ and she said it was because she was upset and didn’t know what to say and that at this point in her life she doesn’t want to force anyone to stay if they don’t want to, we’ve both had terrible pasts hence why we both sort of have our guard up 

[NuevoYorko]

Hm.  Tbh, I'm sorry that your passive/aggressive  tactic worked out well for you.  You'll probably do it again.  This is no way to create and sustain a healthy relationship.

[Alpacalia]

You did the right thing in protecting yourself and walking away.

Focus on taking care of yourself and doing activities that make you feel good.

On 4/13/2023 at 2:25 AM, Measure said:

Hell waiting 2 months for sex is a deal breaker for me.  

😄