Would bringing your own condiment be a bad idea during a romantic dinner?

[NuevoYorko]

55 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

Idk, this would be weird as well IMO, very weird. If you are on the 4th date and your date pulls out a bottle of dressing while at a nice restaurant or any restaurant TBH, it's sort of weird.  Definitely would be probably a fork in the road or turning point in the relationship.

Personally, I would be fine with the pulling out of a bottle.  I'm biased, though, having packed around Tabasco sauce for a few years.  

 

 

[spiderowl]

8 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

If your date ordered a salad but the restaurant didn't have her favorite dressing.

Then, she told her date she was leaving the restaurant to buy a bottle of dressing at the store across the street. Her date was visibly upset when she returned. Later, he thanked her for the date but decided not to see her again because he felt it was off-putting to leave and go buy a bottle of dressing rather than just eat without it.

 

(disclaimer: this didn't happen to me)

Yes, I would find it off-putting. It is a bit extreme. The purpose of a date is to spend time with your date and get to know them. Going away for a while to buy an alternative dressing is not only bizarre, it is unkind to the person you are seeing. You are putting a dressing before them!

Honestly, I would say the person buying the dressing is a bit obsessive and has problems. It is possible they are on the ASD spectrum but people with ASD often turn down food rather than actively seek out sauces. Whatever the situation, this person needs to get their priorities right and focus on spending quality time with their date. 

I would not want to have further dates with someone whose food preferences take precedent to that extent, possibly because I have ASD family members and my life has been badly affected by their dietary restrictive eating. I go on a date to relax not to have more of that stress!

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Versacehottie said:

Idk, this would be weird as well IMO, very weird. If you are on the 4th date and your date pulls out a bottle of dressing while at a nice restaurant or any restaurant TBH, it's sort of weird.  Definitely would be probably a fork in the road or turning point in the relationship. 

Not for me. I like quirky.

1 hour ago, introverted1 said:

Is your friend on the ASD spectrum or otherwise not in tune with social mores?  The more I think about this, the more baffled I am that anyone would do what your friend did, much less need to ask about it after the fact. 

No. The incident is a share from a Show.

My friend told me about it.

I found a clip:
https://youtu.be/-h8CpmqLrwc

 

 

Edited April 8, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Els]

I didn't even know you were even allowed to bring your own condiments into a restaurant! Maybe it's a US thing?

That being said, I think it's a bit cringey, but I'm not sure if I would immediately ditch them - I guess to me it's a yellow flag. Could just be an annoying quirk in an otherwise lovely person (we all have them), or could be symptomatic of a larger issue. If I otherwise liked the person, I would wait and see. It's not like they berated the serving staff or spent the whole meal complaining, both of which are far worse IMO.

[SoulCat]

Why order a salad, or any dish for that matter, if you have to drown it in a sauce or dressing to make it palatable enough to eat? 

Have some decorum, roll with the punches and accept a different dressing, or eat the salad without it, like a grown-up.

[basil67]

Multiple thoughts:

Fussy eater is a dealbreaker for me.  I love all the food and having someone who loves it with me

That said, what kind of restaurant "runs out" of dressing?  Surely they make their own dressings and sauces, so they should make some more when the previous stock is running low.   

[Alpacalia]

It was a Polish restaurant.

The woman was apparently taken out by her date to sample some Polish dishes, likely something she was not familiar with. My guess is that she bought the ranch dressing to make the experience a bit easier, as trying new foods can be daunting for some people.

If I were offered cow's brains, I would consider topping them with a condiment if any were available inside the restaurant. However, I have had some bad experiences with experimental food in the past, so I might just choose to pass on this dish.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, Els said:

I didn't even know you were even allowed to bring your own condiments into a restaurant! Maybe it's a US thing?

Yes, it's definitely a US thing! We like to spice things up over here!

If you put ketchup on a steak it's definitely a no-no though.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

34 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

It was a Polish restaurant.

The woman was apparently taken out by her date to sample some Polish dishes, likely something she was not familiar with. My guess is that she bought the ranch dressing to make the experience a bit easier, as trying new foods can be daunting for some people.

Would still be a dealbreaker for me.  I eat and cook a wide variety of foods and if the date can't cope, I wouldn't bother.  No different to someone who loves the outdoors dating a couch potato.  

For what it's worth, my BIL also packs a little bottle of chilli.  But it's discreet and he'd be fine eating the food if he'd accidentally left the chilli in the car.  And he'll eat any food. To me, this is the 'normal' end of adding stuff to food.  

[Gaeta]

57 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

woman was apparently taken out by her date to sample some Polish dishes, likely something she was not familiar with. My guess is that she bought the ranch dressing to make the experience a bit easier,

Are you trying to justify her behavior Alpacalia?

She ordered a salad, not cow brain. 

Polish people cook chicken, pork, noodles, potatoes, they use herbs, there is nothing risky to Polish food., l mean how risky is eating Pierogis right!

[Alpacalia]

7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Are you trying to justify her behavior Alpacalia?

She ordered a salad, not cow brain. 

Polish people cook chicken, pork, noodles, potatoes, they use herbs, there is nothing risky to Polish food., l mean how risky is eating Pierogis right!

No.

I already agreed that it was rude to leave her date.

Says who? I agree that polish food is mild but that's me, that's you, not everyone.

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Would still be a dealbreaker for me.  I eat and cook a wide variety of foods and if the date can't cope, I wouldn't bother.  No different to someone who loves the outdoors dating a couch potato.  

For what it's worth, my BIL also packs a little bottle of chilli.  But it's discreet and he'd be fine eating the food if he'd accidentally left the chilli in the car.  And he'll eat any food. To me, this is the 'normal' end of adding stuff to food.  

She was rude to her date. But Good gravy! the general hostility towards picky eaters in this thread makes me want to just go under my covers to find a tranquil place to unwind.

The adult thing to do, the mature thing to do, the least insulting and embarrassing thing to do, would be to simply say she cannot eat here and ask to leave or go someplace else.

I like ranch, so pass me some. It's not something I would do myself, however. One of my friends does this by bringing different hot sauces in a bag and having them handy at various times.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

She was rude to her date. But Good gravy! the general hostility towards picky eaters in this thread makes me want to just go under my covers to find a tranquil place to unwind.

The adult thing to do, the mature thing to do, the least insulting and embarrassing thing to do, would be to simply say she cannot eat here and ask to leave or go someplace else.

I like ranch, so pass me some. It's not something I would do myself, however. One of my friends does this by bringing different hot sauces in a bag and having them handy at various times.

You started a hypothetical thread about someone who's both picky and rude.  Of course people will comment on both aspects of the issue.   For what it's worth, many years ago I had a guest who complained that my cooking was like eating out every night. Turns out he missed his plain meat and veges, but I think it's boring.   So we adventurous eaters get criticised too.  He would be happier with a plain cook and I'm happy with an adventurous eater.  And that's OK.  But we are allowed to have dealbreakers.

And I agree, if the only thing she'd eat in the whole place was salad with a particular sauce, she should have asked to go somewhere else.  

 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

.The incident is a share from a Show.My friend told me about it.

It seems almost staged, like a SNL skit, but anyway nobody is "hostile" toward "picky" eaters. But personally, it comes across as a bad restaurant choice  and bad manners. He dumped his date for it, but then again if salad dressing is a make-it-or-break-it issue, there doesn't seem to be much potential anyway.

Edited April 9, 2023 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems almost staged, like a SNL skit,

It's on the internet....it must be true!    Apparently it came from Reddit, so it probably has the credentials of some of the rubbish posted here

Edited April 9, 2023 by basil67

[bene]

22 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

If you didn't like the dressing they had you would just eat the salad anyway? Or would you send it back?

 

I’m probably not that passionate about salat dressing to begin with. Yes, I’d eat it. 

I’ve always thought that you only send back food if there’s something wrong with it, not that you simply don’t like it.

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

It's on the internet....it must be true!    Apparently it came from Reddit, so it probably has the credentials of some of the rubbish posted here

Even made an appearance on NBC's "The Today Show." 

Happy Easter everyone! 

[ShyViolet]

12 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

The adult thing to do, the mature thing to do, the least insulting and embarrassing thing to do, would be to simply say she cannot eat here and ask to leave or go someplace else.

I can't agree here.  If I was on a date and in the middle of dinner, the other person said "I can't eat here" and wanted to leave and go somewhere else, there's no way I'd see them again.  To me that's so rude and high-maintenance, a huge turn-off.  

[smackie9]

Just goes to show ya she was not flexible or able to make a compromise to make the best of a situation. Big red flag. Glad she was booted to the curb.

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, ShyViolet said:

I can't agree here.  If I was on a date and in the middle of dinner, the other person said "I can't eat here" and wanted to leave and go somewhere else, there's no way I'd see them again.  To me that's so rude and high-maintenance, a huge turn-off.  

Yes, you do make a good point.

I guess I just see both sides of the issue.

It is important to be respectful of your date's preferences and not force them to stay somewhere they are not comfortable with. However, she could have been more considerate and understanding of the situation. If on the date and she expresses that she doesn't think she will like the food, it would be better to try to find a compromise rather than just leaving. She could try suggesting other food options at the restaurant, or suggest a different restaurant nearby.

That way, she can still have a pleasant evening without making her date feel like she is forcing him out of the restaurant.

[ShyViolet]

55 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

It is important to be respectful of your date's preferences and not force them to stay somewhere they are not comfortable with. However, she could have been more considerate and understanding of the situation. If on the date and she expresses that she doesn't think she will like the food, it would be better to try to find a compromise rather than just leaving. She could try suggesting other food options at the restaurant, or suggest a different restaurant nearby.

That way, she can still have a pleasant evening without making her date feel like she is forcing him out of the restaurant.

If someone knows that they are weird and picky about food, then they should research the restaurant beforehand, look at the menu online to see if there's anything there they could eat.  If not they could suggest a different restaurant before ever getting into this situation.  Once you are there, there is no way to leave in the middle of the date without looking really rude and awkward, and possibly ruining your chances of ever dating the person you are with again.

[Els]

18 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Yes, it's definitely a US thing! We like to spice things up over here!

If you put ketchup on a steak it's definitely a no-no though.

Interesting!

Is there a limit to what kind of sauces are acceptable to bring, or will someone get kicked out for opening a packet of shrimp paste?

Asking for... a friend. 😂

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

If someone knows that they are weird and picky about food, then they should research the restaurant beforehand, look at the menu online to see if there's anything there they could eat.  If not they could suggest a different restaurant before ever getting into this situation.  Once you are there, there is no way to leave in the middle of the date without looking really rude and awkward, and possibly ruining your chances of ever dating the person you are with again.

My guess is she was trying to make the best of it being he chose the restaurant and ordered for her and they initially said they had ranch dressing but then later told her they didn't. If she knew she might not like it she could have chosen a different restaurant or at least give her date a heads up that she may not find something she likes on the menu or ordered for herself.

My boyfriend and I have left a restaurant when the food wasn't what we expected after we paid and neither of us made the other feel bad or would have wanted the other to sit through a meal they didn't care for. Then again, my boyfriend wouldn't care if I ran across the street for five minutes. For us, it's not that big a deal.

Of course, I can see that being a bit different then leaving the table to get a condiment on a 3rd or 4th date.

After all, her date was trying to do something nice by taking her out to dinner.

[Alpacalia]

7 minutes ago, Els said:

Interesting!

Is there a limit to what kind of sauces are acceptable to bring, or will someone get kicked out for opening a packet of shrimp paste?

Asking for... a friend. 😂

No shrimp paste, no kick outs!😂

Let's just say that no one will be getting kicked out, but if you're feeling extra daring, you can always bring some extra-special sauces! A friend has a preference for his favorite hot sauces and he sometimes brings a couple packets. It's not been an issue.

I tried raw oysters once for the first time and grasshoppers. For me, that could have been a time where I bought some kind of condiment with me but fortunately the restaurant had a bunch of sauces so I used those.

There's also "BYOB" where you bring your own bottle of alcoholic beverage of choice for establishments that don't carry a liquor license. 

 

 

[Gaeta]

I'm not seeing where her actions were justified. It was a salad and that can be fixed so easily with another dressing or just oil. 

The goal here was to spend time with her date, the food was 2nd.

If the story had been about someone diabetic and the restaurant running out of splenda, yes l can see her running next door to grab splenda so she can enjoy her morning coffee, l mean even him would have been glad to go grab the splenda for her.